Would you have a disco at your wake.

My OH s wake was recent , it is usual here to call the visiting of the house before the funeral , The Wake . We have moved house 6 months ago and the village turned out in force , mainly to see the new residence , OH would have laughed ! We had a Luncheon in the Village Church Hall , and I must say that all the visiting and tea drinking really helped us to cope with his death

Mother has left very elaborate instructions, totalling about twenty thousand pounds.

I think I would probably go for a humanist ceremony, but having said that I would like all the best Methodist hymns I could find.
Which just shows how confused I am about my religious affiliations if I still have any?

Although I'm generally not terribly extrovert, I do love dancing and it can be guaranteed that, even at the age of 68, I will be one of the first up on the dance flooor.

I would not be at all upset if this was what my family decided to do. I would hope that they will miss me and shed a tear or two but, having done that, I think it is healthy to have a chat, a drink, a song and even a dance to remind us, however sad we are, that life goes on.

I do think, though, that it is quite important for people to make others aware of how they feel about these issues, to save any difficulties or disagreements. I don't care what people do - whether they wear black or bright colours, make stipulations re flowers, etc. etc. I would only ask that expense is kept to an absolute minimum and that there be a non-religious service.

How I agree Nelliemoser I was brought up as a Methodist and love singing all the old favourites. We don't hear them so much now sadly.

When DH died we'd been living abroad for many years and so he just had a smallish simple funeral locally. A few months later we had a "memorial reception" back in the UK; but as I explained, it was really a memorial cocktail party, because that was what DH really enjoyed.

Last month i went to my BIL's funeral. Is it wrong to say that i thoroughly enjoyed it? For the first time in ages all 5 siblings were together in one place and it was wonderful to catch up with them and nieces and nephews. The funeral was sad and tears were shed and then we went to the 'reception' where there was plenty of food and drink and peaceful atmosphere to catch up and renew. I had a better time than i usually do at weddings and birthday parties as i was able to converse with others and not just sit quietly because i couldn't hear myself think, let alone speak!

I would escape a disco in my current state of being, so not keen on the idea

I must add, each to their own of course.

I'd prefer something quieter such as afternoon tea or a fish and chip lunch, depending on the time of day. But still, I won't be there, will I? It'll be up to my loved ones to do whatever they see fit.
I don't plan to go for at least another 25 years (not that I have any choice in the matter) but who knows what the fashion will be then?

We all cope with death differently of course. Fortunately in our very small immediate family we all feel the same and we haven't had formal funerals for mum, dad or my daughter. It works for us. For my daughter we gathered together with all of her friends and recounted all the fun and laughter she brought us.

Teetime..........How you choose to go is, of course, your own and maybe circumstances have led you to this decision. However, be aware that funerals play a very important role to those left behind and allow them to chat, share memories and find closure before moving on with their lives. Psychologically they play a very important part in society so please think carefully before you deny loved ones this opportunity. Totally none of my business, just saying.

My dad's wake was held in a friend's pub, it was a lovely atmosohere. But when someone said that they kept expecting him to walk in at any minute, it almost broke me. He'd have loved it.

We had my mums wakein our back garden on a beautiful sunny day. It was lovely, close family and a friend or two. At the end when my dad was leaving with my sister he said thanks that was lovely I enjoyed it so much and we will have to do it again.!

'Celebrate' my life? Don't think so. Just hope that if and when anyone thinks of me it's with a gentle smile and a thought somewhere along the lines 'She was very okay'

As I won't be there to argue then they can do what they want.

I've told my kids not to linger at the cemetery crying, and to go to a nice pub and have a good old knees up like I used to love to do in my younger days.
My sisters partner organised her funeral and we were greeted at the chapel with "Bat out of hell" full volume, and no hymns. I'm not religious but it didn't feel right. I felt cheated.

My husband's service, who passed away recently, was eclectic and perfect. He is Welsh so it was an eclectic mix of Welsh (we don't live in Wales. I took him out of the valleys) secular and Christian.

We belong to an independent contemporary church so the pastor who is young anyway is happy to accommodate what you want.

It was Welsh music to go in and at the finish, with 2 secular songs and 1 Christian contemporary song. The eulogy by our eldest. Prayers and tribute by a dear Welsh Christian friend in our church. A short biblical reading by a Christian friend and a short talk on the biblical reading with Christian committal.

Afterwards it was back to our church for buffet and chats. My DiL mom bought our Grandson who is 10 months old (7 months at the time) to the gathering after which lightened it up a bit.

Me I want similar without the Welsh stuff as I am not Welsh. It will be secular and Christian contemporary music for me too and similar afterwards to my husband

Secular will be our wedding song I walked down the aisle to David too. Your beautiful the Christian song and Forever young by Bob Dylan.

I love quirky and different. I wouldn't want a disco. As I don't drink alcohol the gathering afterwards will be held, like my husband's, in our church

I think I'm going to donate myself to a teaching hospital. I had wanted to donate myself to the mad scientist Gunter Von Hagens (plastination pioneer) but I think that's too much for my dd to cope with!.
So if I'm not there for a funeral (cremation) then I'd really like anyone who gives a hoot to party! Lots of loud rock music, maybe even a live band ?.

Nanasam Sorry, what does AC stand for?

At mine I hope there’ll be some weeping and wailing, not too much, and then a lot of happy reminiscing over a cream tea. .

No gloom or doom for me - not how I've lived my life so why should a small fact like being dead change anything? I'm having a quick crem - no one there. Then 6 months or
so after a celebration/service of my life. Everyone to wear party or bright clothes. Picture of me looking gorgeous and young carried into 'another one bites the dust' by my DGC lots of video recollections, Elgar, gospel choir, lots of stories from friends, family (videos no tears lots of funny ones and no eulogies please). Ending up with a party after fab food, 12 midnight fireworks display - my ashes in a rocket shot up leaving a written trail 'Goodbye darlings!!!' Freddie Mercury blasting out Mr Fahrenheit lyrics include
'Tonight I'm gonna have myself a real good time
I feel alive and the world I'll turn it inside out - yeah
And floating around in ecstasy
So don't stop me now don't stop me
'Cause I'm having a good time having a good time
I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky
Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity
I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva
I'm gonna go go go
There's no stopping me
I'm burnin' through the sky yeah
Two hundred degrees
That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man out of you'
Tasteless, different but will cheer up my beloved sons and my grandkids who call me Fun Nanny. Can't wait - oops perhaps I can for a while....LOL

We held the wake for my DH 6 weeks ago. We called it a Celebration of his life and after a very simple service at the Crematorium (1 hymn, Country and Western music) no processions no brass handles(as he instructed) we went to his favourite hotel by the sea, There were my children and his children (2nd time around, we were!) lots of friends and neighbours and we had displays of photographs of him throughout his life. It was heart warming to have everyone around me and I hope to depart in a similar way!

One of my best friends, had a huge screen with pictures of her scrolling through. Her nephew got his guitar out and we were dancing away, it was very fitting because that’s how she lives her life dancing the nigh away. Whether she planned that I don’t know, best funeral I have been to. It was a celebration of her life not her death. Personally I don’t want a funeral

Been to a few funerals here in this Country, they are very sombre affairs, dreary music, flowers all over the altar, only to wilt next day once left on the grave, a donation would have been better.Here they do funerals like "state funerals" very formal, no nonsense, definately not lively music. I would like a celebration of my life, no dreary hymns, nice hymns, then after I would like everyone to enjoy themselves have music you can talk over, not disco music,eat and drink and have a good chat.
Has anyone noticed at a funeral, well here anyway, the person who is deceased is talked about as though they were an angel on earth.
I amglad I wont be around to see what happens, as long as they take my ashes back to the UK, otherwise I will haunt everyone!

Leaving my body to forensic science. They leave it to decompose naturally on the earth, not in it, not in a box or any other covering. There are fields and woods owned by the government where this takes place, so that police monitor stages of decomposition in varying ways to help solve murders where the body is not found for days weeks years etc.
How my children deal with this won't be my concern.