I`m so, so sorry GrannyjillyT. I`m not very good with words, but I do know how you are feeling, having lost my husband nearly 15 months ago, after just over 53 years of marriage. Take each day as it comes, accept any help offered, and, I assure you, there is light at the end of the tunnel, although certain things will continue to bring it all back and upset you all over again. It will obviously never go away, but life does get easier. MawB is much better with words than I am.