Feeling sad

Bless you it will leave a big hole in your life but your friend has made the right decision we cannot to on for ever and if her quality of life is going then it’s for her to know when enough is enough
Friendship knows no ages one of my best friends is younger than my children but we ve been good friends for about 20 years
At least you have preparation time and can plan to make her last days special and also prepare your granddaughter
I do hope you can have a few magical times together before she leaves you and then you have wonderful memories and the knowledge that you have made a lot of influence on each other’s lives
Thinking of you ?

Thank you BlueBelle.
I'm very emotional. I can't show my friend my sadness. She has told a handful of people who haven't all supported her decision which must be very difficult for her.
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I am so sorry to hear your news. Sometimes, there comes a time when we have had enough of certain treatments.
She is blessed to have such a wonderful friend in you.
God bless you and give you the strength to support her.

My friend did exactly the same Meandashy she said 'I want quality of life not quantity'. One day when it was wet and cold she phoned her closest friends and told us she was having a good day and would we like us to come round for a cuppa. We all turned up dripping wet and had an afternoon of laughter and chat. It is as clear in my mind as if it was yesterday.

Your friend has made a brave and sensible decision IMO.

NanKate what fabulous memory.
You've inspired me to try and organise a get together in the new year. We share a love of food and I love to cook! Thank you ?

How very sad for you but she has made her choice. This is where the "Right to die" campaign comes in.
People who are terminally ill being helped to die by their own choice.
This has been discussed in parliament a few times . One day it might just be allowed in Britain.
For people who are suffering and no prospect of recovery why not allow them to die when they "have had enough" . Some US states find it works well and is not abused.

What an admirable lady. Enjoy her last few months and be proud to have her as your friend.

I'm so sorry meandashy this is so hard for you but this lady sounds as though she has made a wise decision for her and as others have said now is the time to create those special memories. My best wishes to you both.

I'm sorry to hear about your dear friend. It sounds as if you have a really great friendship and age is no barrier! (I have a number of friends who are a lot older then me and it's a joy!)
I'm sure she treasures it and you'll be such a support to her at this time.

This is so hard but you have to respect her wishes and as others have said create a few more special memories. I did this with my mother - she wanted to go on the London eye and I arranged this for her, in a wheelchair, and she was really to ill to do it, but she was so happy, it was worth it.

Very sad but understandable. Enjoy your time with your friend and build some more happy memories.

My very dear friend had a prognosis of eighteen months, but she lived for three years. During the last few months, she felt the treatment was worse than the illness and stopped the treatment.

I think that, in the end, it was too much for her to cope with, for no real benefit. She made the decision to stop any further intervention, including an experimental new medication. We had to respect her wishes; she had gone through some unpleasant treatment and had come to terms with the outcome.

I think all you can do is to support your friend,particularly if others are advising otherwise. I had some conversations with my friend, in which we spoke of very meaningful (to us) things. We also spoke of how much our friendship had meant to each of us. I saw her last in the hospice, a few days before she died. She recognised me and it was the
hardest thing to do, but I was glad I was able to say goodbye.

This is so sad. Your dear friend has accepted her own mortality and wants to make a more natural end to her life; I hope you draw comfort from all the lovely times you have had together over the years.

So hard at times to accept others decisions. This surely is the hardest one that anybody could have to make so my heart goes out to you both ?

Very sad but I am glad that you support your friend in her decision.The meal sounds like a lovely idea and I hope you create some more happy memories together.She will take comfort in the fact that you are supporting her when others are not.I think this shows what a special friend you are.

Wishing your dear friend courage to face what is to come, and you too. It's a very hard road to walk alongside a loved one x

My Mother has just died. Her funeral was on 14 December. She refused to go to hospital and she refused further treatment. She did not have quality of life and she wanted to die and be reunited with my Father. It was hard to stand and watch, but it was her decision and what she wanted.
I now have to focus on wonderful memories.

I hope you will be able to draw comfort from all the lovely memories you will have. A difficult time for you, but I am so glad that you are there for your friend. .
Nendels, a sad time for you, too.

I am so glad you can support your friend. Quality of life at the end of life is so very important. I do hope you will be able to create some marvelous memories together. and although you will miss her terribly when she dies I hope you will feel proud that you had the courage and compassion to support her to enjoy her remaining days.

This must be so hard for you meandashy. As I support the right to die, it's not easy to hear from someone about to lose someone they care very much for this way. I'm glad your friend has you because she won't have taken the decision lightly and it will be harder for her without the support of those around her.

I lost one of my best friends in similar circumstances when she was only 40. Her brain tumour had returned for the 4th time and she decided not to go through surgery again and chose palliative treatment. Seeing her was very difficult, but we laughed a lot - some of it was black humour.

I would like to mention something else about my friend. Near the end unexpectedly she became very poorly quite quickly and decided to go into a hospice. She only wanted her close family to see her there. So make the most of the time you spend with your friend just in case this happens to you. I'm glad she has your friendship and you're in my thoughts.

Nendels I am sorry to hear about your Mum. Even when you know it's the right thing it's still hard.

I totally agree with what you say about having some precious times to share. A few years ago I read a book called The Luxury of Time by Jane and Mike Tomlinson. Jane was told by her oncologist on her cancer diagnosis exactly what you said. The point he was making that with knowing you have a limited time left, you can use that time to be around your favourite people sharing those precious moments where someone who dies suddenly cannot,

She sounds a wonderful, brave lady.

Her soul will fly free xx

What a brave lady your lovely friend sounds. I hope I would have her courage in the same circumstances. All you can do is make the most of your time together. My special best wishes to both of you.

I think this is the most difficult decision that many of us may ever have to make. Life is precious but only those who have a terminal condition can know what it's like to feel that it's time to go.
Treasure your good memories, I'm sure there are many. Try to see it as a privilege to be able to do this instead of dragging on for years.