Feeling sad

A very close friend took a similar decision and she was relatively young. It was very upsetting, but her choice and I had to respect that.

My SisterIL is almost at the hospice stage.
They are amazing, it’s a Douglas McMillan hospice and they seem to think of everything to make the situation easier for everyone.
They have even promised to pull out any stray hairs on her chin if necessary! I’ve sent her a good pair of tweezers for Christmas! Not insensitive, we’ve had a good giggle over it.

Very sad. I read the book
Being Mortal by Atul Gawande,it is by an American but I couldn’t put it down. He is a medical professional and it outlines his fathers progress through the medical system.
Having read it I would do just what your friend has done.
I think I won this book so my normal read is Crime Fiction!

I’m so sad for you, losing someone you love is desperately sad, however your friend has made her own decision based on what she is going through and what she can expect to happen in the next few months. A very difficult time for all concerned. In the future you will be able to reflect on what is happening right now and bless your friend for the wonderful times she shared with you and the meaningful lessons you have learnt just by knowing her. Take care of yourself.

Sad for you as you will be losing a valued friend .....but at least you will have some time to enjoy your friendship a bit longer ...and happy for your friend that she has had the courage to make that decision. It does take courage ...and she will value your friendship as she goes towards her goal. It is lovely to have time to share her wishes about her life and perhaps her passing too ....she has time to arrange everything as she would like it ...so much better when you can do this than have no warning and no time to say goodbye and prepare friends and family ......you sound like a wonderful friend and she is lucky to have you...don't be sad, try to laugh each day, and enjoy the time together you have left ! I love the song Seasons in the Sun ....if I were having a funeral I would chose that ! bon courage

i think a lot of people see it as a quality of life because the treatment isn’t working. It very hard for family and friends to accept this but we have to respect their wishes. It’s sad I know.
You can be a great comfort and support to your friend.

Being able to see someone through to the end of their choice, is such a wonderful priviledge. You would far rather that for her than anything else, celebrate your friendship and the opportunity you have been given.

Thank you for all your kind words. You really are wonderful support.

Nendals I'm very sorry to hear about your mum ? xx

I am sorry to hear that your friend has reached this stage in her life, but it sounds as if she has accepted something which is in a sense probably harder for you and the others who love her to accept.

I'm sure your friend gave the matter a lot of thought and has made the decision that is right for her, and she is fortunate to have supportive friends like you to make their last days, weeks or months more bearable. It can be a lot harder on people that make this decision and have to then battle opposing views from friends and relatives. Love continues even after death - I hope when the time comes her death will be as peaceful and painless as possible. Keep being a good friend, laugh & cry together, and be there when she needs you. and thoughts for you, for your friend, and for your granddaughter

You are so kind Meandashy to support your friend. She has every right to refuse more medication and, as others have said, she won’t have made the decision lightly. God bless you and all her friends and I hope you have some lovely memories for after she’s gone.

Very many best and supportive wishes coming to you both. You have started grieving but what a great chance you have to tell your friend how much she has been valued.

She knows her own body and what it can stand as long as she gets the right pain control. Laughing and enjoying her last times can be good pain relief. Brave lady with a good friend. It will be hard for you to watch but be strong.

lionpops I've also just finished reading 'Being Mortal'. One thing I felt was that it must take a very great deal of courage not to continue to be treated. meandashy, I hope your friend has a quiet and peaceful end, and is able to fulfil her wishes as her life draws to a close.

There comes a time which is the right time for everyone to let go - DS's best friend (23) fought a brain tumour for several years, but eventually just decided when he got shingles he'd had enough. We still miss him dreadfully, but no more pain, no more struggling. Enjoy what time you have left together and make sure that when she does go, you remember her with love and laughter. The friend was Salvation Army and his funeral and memorial were a true celebration of his life with jokes and silly memories throughout the whole day. Bless you and your friend. DH, MIL and myself are all feeling the effects of various health conditions and it's a question of whether any of us will be here this time next year. What I'm hoping is that MIL will go first, because she won't cope with losing her son before her (even though we've tried to prepare her for the possibility and I'm determined to make it through to support DS.

My heart goes out to you, melancholy. But I hope you can support your friend in her decision. She has brought much to your life, now, I hope you can bring more quality time to the end of her life. Just my thoughts.

Sorry, that should read "meandashy," NOT "melancholy!"