Mixed up

Can't really help but I can empathise as I don't enjoy birthdays at all. I don't like being expected to be all bright and jolly. It's come to me that birthdays are for the other people in your life rather than for you as the recipient. I've been on 'the other side' and given a present when none was requested and it was returned to me!! Sometimes you can't win. I'm not looking forward to my 70th but the family want to celebrate so I'm thinking about it.
Just a thought: You don't say who instigated the Dublin visit but if it wasn't you why not do something on YOUR terms after Christmas / New Year and welcome family members if they wish to join in?

Book something for January - a panto, theatre, or spa day with massages, to prevent plans not materialising and getting forgotten after Christmas. Having something to look forward to is the best way to forget about getting older.

Keep making plans!

Be like the Queen ! Have a 2nd birthday in the summer where it won't clash with anything . Make some plans to do something YOUR love and then if you do it alone it will still be something you want to do .

I love a good birthday but do believe it is what YOU make it , so make it to suit you .

I had a work colleague whose birthday fell between Christmas and New Year. She decided at an early age to appoint a date in June as her official Birthday and everybody stuck to that. I only knew because her DOB on her work record did not correspond to what we all knew as her birthday. I thought it was a bit sneaky that she was 6 months younger than reality, tho' to be fair she could easily have passed for 10years younger.

Poor you nanano this time of year can be a really depressing time of year. I empathise with you about birthdays and getting older generally. I hope you are in good health and are keeping active as that seems to be the way to keep yourself upbeat. My sister has a birthday straight after Xmas and always complains about it even though we usually buy her something extra nice. My birthday is in February which is also very depressing. Treat yourself to something extra specially nice and a good glass of champagne or two. Best wishes. xx

My friends son is a boxing day birthday, they always had a special tea and pressies (never lumped with christmas one) and then he had a birthday treat the first weekend of June.

I always felt a bit let down by mid January as Christmas/New Year/ birthday had all happened within a month. These days birthdays come and go with very little notice taken.

Plan something for when the weather is better and you can get out and enjoy it. Age is just a number, you won't be any different the day after.

My birthday is today and I get much the same Nanano, as you with people being busy. But at my now great age (?) of 73 I just go with the flow. Today I am at home. I may get friends popping in or not. I have had lots of cards etc so know I am not forgotten. I expect if you have a summer birthday people may be away on holiday. So it's a bit swings and roundabouts Just enjoy what you have

What a shame you had to pull out, it was bound to be difficult finding another date. .
I think it's best not to make a big thing about birthdays whenever they happen. You don't need the excuse of a birthday to go to Dublin or away for a weekend, a dinner, or a night out. Sixty is not a special age anymore, it is or soon will no longer be retirement age , it is not particularly old or anything. Just try to make the most of life, make more friends, and resolve to make the coming decade one of the best in your life, maybe make a bucket list to work through - refurbish a room in the house, join a gym, have a makeover. Treat yourself!

My birthday is just after Christmas. I was always so jealous of my sister having her special day in May and getting lots of cards and presents when I was always told "it is too close to Christmas, we're broke" or "we got you a bit extra for Christmas instead" (yeah right).

I hate being the centre of any attention which is probably just as well as when it comes to birthdays I have rarely gotten any .

Our family have birthdays on 15th, 18th and 20th and MIL was on the 16th. This time of year is a big headache. We told DS that his official birthday was August and he could have a large toy and when older he got guitars and so on. He still got a gift for his Christmas birthday but somehow the year seemed long with no birthday half way through.

Oh dear! Is there any point in saying 60 is only a number?
Is it flippant go suggest you have had 59 years to get used to having a birthday near Christmas?
Seriously, you do sound as if life is getting you down so perhaps there is more to it than the big Six Oh .
I would be tempted to look for some help if you think this might be the case.
Other than that look at all the “celebs” who so t see 60 again but are HOT! Helen Mirren, Judi Dench, Joanna Lumley, Angelica Huston, Susan Sarandon, Emma Thompson,Kim Basinger to name but a few.
Plus you get to stop paying NI! What’s not like?
Old is as old does and 60 is NOTHING.
I do hope you can somehow get to grips with this and ENJOY your birthday and that next decade

I LOVED being 60. I was still a working "girl", I felt young, I had a special present and cake at work and went off to Gran Canaria the day after my birthday. To make it even better, I was able to take partial retirement and work 3 days a week!
What a difference a decade on - health not great and feeling my age a lot of the time. So make the most of being 60, it's not old, look after yourself and try and make another date to get that trip.

Thank you all for your helpful comments.
Self pity is a sad mindset .
A little is allowed now and again but on ward and upwards as I have decided after reading and mulling over, All your suggestions to organise my own little trip invite all 8 of my children with their wives girlfriends boyfriends and husbands along with my 9 grandchildren to a weekend in half term in February.
Any suggestions on where to go most welcome. Xx

When we had a similar number to accommodate (age range 6mths to 80 years) for a long weekend we booked a whole Youth Hostel and had such a good time that we did it again (a different hostel) for a significant Birthday.

Nanano, you were the one pulling out of the trip to Dublin, so the disappointment this year is of your choosing. It is your downbeat attitude about your birthday that causes the problems.

You need to think about how you feel and how to change it. Why do you dislike your birthday? Is it because it means you are getting older? Why bother, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Everyone from the newest born baby is getting older at exactly the same rate. The age difference between you and your children and grandchildren never changes.

Choosing another date for your birthday is a good idea. But even if you decide not to change it, think positively. Be active about making plans for your birthday, even if it is just something as simple as going for a meal out and stick to them, do not change your mind and back out. If you do not like to think about your age, just see it as an annual celebration and get together with your nearest and dearest and forget about the birthday bit.

The answer to your problem lies inside you.

My birthday is at the end of January and everyone is hard up spent up and fed up so I do sympathise!

I was 60 this year and when I opened my cards I burst into tears for some reason! Just looking at the 60 was depressing so I turned them all upside down to read 09. Felt much better! ?

Just to clarify I was not the one to pull out . Thank you .

Thank you that's a great idea x

Nanano...totally understand how you feel my birthday is in the middle of christmas and new year on the 29th...has always been a let down, and the cause of upset and non events all of my 64 years ...I found 60 to be the hardest so far of my birthdays in terms of the age thing, speaking to my friends when they have been 60 they too gave struggled with this birthday...I also have outings "postponed" never to be fulfilled ,I luckily, planned my children to be born in the summer May,June and September so that they would never have to suffer a Christmas birthday

You Spring Chicken you ! My advice would be book something you really want to do ... around the third week of January. Most people will be free then !

What about treating yourself to a spa hotel overnight where you can take advantage of the facilities and really feel special?

It must be awful having a birthday at that time because most people are feeling the pinch after spending for Christmas.

If you can't afford/can't get a booking for spa hotel what about you and OH or friend going to a swanky hotel for afternoon tea with bubbly?

Just try and do something that will make you feel a bit special.

But I agree with the poster above - have yourself two birthdays an official one and another earlier in the year.

60 is the new 40. Buy yourself a stonking present and drink Champagne.

A few years back my DH and I went to a friend's 50th birthday celebration on the 1st January. The following year just before Christmas we phoned her to arrange another New Year's meet up. Her husband answered in the tones of deepest unhappiness. She had been diagnosed that July with cancer and died in the August leaving three teenage children. She never made 51.

It makes you think. It makes you realise every day is precious.

That said, I think birthdays can be melancholy so I do sympathise. Make a plan and try to enjoy it.

my sister is 60 next year and she cant wait!! free prescriptions - bus pass - being able to cut her work hours down to be able to claim working tax credits - its going to make her life so much easier
She is a widow with her husbands pension - taxed - has to work so many hours mainly to pay rent
Rejoice!