A certain sort of man..........

mmm locally I keep seeing mothers like that which somehow is even more disturbing.

I dislike those videos that do the rounds online where parents film themselves playing tricks on their children and frighten them and then laugh and post them on Facebook! You see the poor child crying yet the parents don't seem to care.

Lucky we all know people like that. When my brother was about 5 (back in the 1950s) my paternal grandfather held him there when he stood in a nest of biting ants. Needless to say he was crying. My mother tore into her FIL, it caused a big family row. I've never forgotten it, I was 6.

My mother was always on our side, looking out for us .

I agree with all posts - there seems to be a certain type of parent who wants to toughen upon boys in particular. Very cruel in my opinion.

It seems to be a man thing. I know a few men who take things too far when playing with kids.

When I was teaching we had a mum in reception who came to the teacher for some reassurance because the other mums were telling her she was making her boy soft by giving him too many kisses and cuddles when she brought him to school. Same school, 2 boys in the playground started a fight after school and the mums stood, watching and cheering them on.Staff went out and stopped it and they moved into the street. It's not just men who behave badly.

D's ex was a classic example of this. I have only ever seen him give his sons the briefest of hugs and only when instigated by them. He wouldn't have a clue how to comfort them.

Not just a man thing, some Mothers are as bad, and not a new thing either, there have always been these type of parents around, sadly.

When I was four years old, my Uncle 'R' held me out over the sea wall during a high tide. I remember screaming to no avail, he thought it was funny! He lived inland and had no idea of the dangers of the sea, I was born on the coast and even at such a young age, knew to keep away from the sea wall when the tide was high!
I can swim, but choose not to, as even today I'm terrified of water! I can manage a canal boat, but can't do locks as I can't bear to get that close to deep water. The thought of a cruise fills me with horror!
Proof it it were needed that events affect us more than anyone knows, fifty six years later, I still feel that fear!
I've been known to tell people what I think when I see children being 'bullied'. It's never been well received, and quite honestly I don't care. If just one of those bullying parents changes their attitude, it will have been worth an earful of abuse for me!

This thread reminded me of an incident a couple of weeks ago where I was waiting at the bus stop and a father and young boy of about six were waiting as well. The father was berating the child because he could not understand the timetable. It went on and on and despite remarks from other passengers who had come along he just didn't stop. The child was terrified and yet there wasn't anything any of us could do. Sickening!

Grim isn't it.

I worry about the support these little ones get at home with their school work with parents like this,they are at a loss before they begin aren't they.
At the bus stop locally I saw a mother shake her son and had to intervene and shame her no one else at the stop said anything just looked away sheepishly,she was very explicit in her reply but I stood my ground and stared her out and I would do it again.Shameful !!

I dislike the way boys are told to man up, that they're a big boy now, that boys don't cry. Similarly, I don't like to see girls told they can't play football for example, because its a boys game.
I do wish children were all treated kindly and in a way that meets their needs. The older I get, the more unkindness, brutality, neglect and so on distress me. Maybe I need to man up!

glamma when GSs went to live with their father D gave him a big box of books in adition to their toys and clothes. The next time he brought them to me for a sleep over he brought the books saying "we don't need these" I do wonder if they ever read at home

I hate programmes like 'You've Been Framed' where a child is filmed running smack into a fence or falling face down in a puddle. You can hear roars of laughter in the background from adults - most likely the parents.

When a video is accepted for broadcast the people who send it in are actually paid

Oh I hate that programme. I won't give it airspace.

We once went to a party where there were a lot of Asian people. One tiny little boy was afraid to climb to the top of a climbing frame. His father told him " You are shaming me"
I very nearly said " You are shaming yourself by that attitude", but in the cause of harmony desisted

I agree *Luckygirl.

I do agree with the OP, but would also say that very often the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and many dads were brought up that way themselves. I used to teach parenting classes and parents would often say (and believe) that being brought up like that didn't do them any harm, but over time they could be encouraged to tap into memories of how they felt as a result of harsh parental behaviour and would then acknowledge that they had been harmed and consequently change their ways.

I can't bear practical jokes! Children are sensitive and a balance needs to be found between enjoying rough and tumble (which can be great fun) and teasing and bullying.

My own father played horrible, frightening tricks on me like ducking me under water in pools and in the sea.

Men, especially those of an older generation, know that other men can tease 'softies' mercilessly, and perhaps try to get sensitive children to 'man up' to avoid this. However, some of their behaviour shades into the bullying they are seeking to ward off.

Some men are from Mars and some man-children are not.

Bullies are everywhere unfortunately and many are parents. I have cringed many times overhearing the way children are spoken to and treated. I have previously intervened, I have also phoned the Police when one father was going too far. I was told later that Social Services intervened and far worse things had been discovered, so I am so glad that I found the courage to stand up for the child.

The amount of kids in school who reflect this teasing, bullying and mickey taking behaviour from a very young age shows that there are certainly a lot of this type of man around. Particualarly prevalent in the smaller boys as well. It really annoys me when other kids are completely oblivious as to why another child might be crying when they hurt themselves. As in 'oh I don't cry when I hurt myself' I know they are just kids but crying is a normal physiological reaction to pain for gods sake! As a woman who finds it almost impossible to have a good cry this whole attitude really annoys me.

When I was about 2 years old, my grandfather used to turn me upside down and tickle me until I was nearly sick. My mother told him to stop it, but he just said (in his Midlands accent), "Look at 'er laffing 'er loves it". Yes I was laughing because it's a reflex action or something, but I didn't love it, it was horrible

Hate You've been Framed. My DD's ex is a bully and tries to "toughen up" his five-and-a-half year old, usually by making fun of her. My DH, on the other hand, gets her to do things by gentle encouragement or just by pretending he assumes she can do them. Guess who gets the better results? Ex now has another baby daughter by his partner so I wonder if he'll be the same with her. But I agree, women can just as bad.