Come the revolution

Wales will become where the ruling Great New Elite go to on holiday,all of it.Unsightly villages will tidy themselves up and each house have a hanging basket of something edible.
Sheep will be set free! So make sure you have a stout fence around your carrots and swedes.
Possibly Scotland will become a pleasure ground for our Blessed Leader, it's well known that he enjoys nothing better than a ramble, speaking to the locals as he goes.He may not understand them however and tell them that Scotland is now a region of England.

Only flat black or brown lace up sensible shoes will be allowed for the masses. No high heels, sling backs or sandals allowed. But as we'll all be in our regulation colour coded boiler suits, high heels and sling backs would be tricky to carry off.

That would suit me Chewbacca - I haven't worn high heels since giving up work! Stout walking shoes will of course be necessary as the masses will not be allowed to drive and cycles will be in short supply and in any event their cost will be out of the reach of those working on the lentil plantations.

Will my purple wellies with pink spots be banned ?

Of course Anniebach wearing such footwear would show an independence of thought which would not be tolerated. Everyone must wear the same in order that none will have their feelings hurt because their clothes were not as stylish as someone elses. Except of course, the political elite who will keep Savile Row tailors working in order that they may convince other world leaders that UK was prosperous. Of course female members of the elite will do their clothes shopping in Paris and New York

As all cars will commandeered for the people's workers perhaps I could keep a pony in my garden and have a little cart to take me to the state shops when food is issued.

I suspect ponies will BE food.

Of course, ponies will be deemed to be pets of the bourgeoisie, and come the revolution will become food for the workers.
Private houses will become a thing of the past and Peoples
housing blocks (PHB) will be the norm.These will be plain concrete and six floors high with six apartments on each floor.There will be a shared bathroom and kitchen on each floor, and each apartment will have , for 2 people, one bedroom one small lounge and one tiny toilet by the door.
Families will take turns with the bathroom for showers( no decadent baths!) and do the same for cooking.
The PHB must smell of laundry drying and cabbage soup.

There will be a caretaker/janitor/concierge type person for each PHB, ideally named Mr or Mrs Karamzov, or similar.

Libraries will still be open, but with reduced shelves of books,as the books themselves will be heavily edited.
We shall be encouraged, possibly by a large man dressed in uniform and standing by the library counter , to read improving books, often written by our Great Leader or his friends.There will be a little red book for all.?

So don't even think of asking for a Jilly Cooper!

We will have to keep cats, it's what they ate in Venezuela during the election troubles

Eat Tiddles * Annie*? OMG! faints clean away

Someone give Chewbacca a vodka please

Will that be "proper" vodka or the lentil and potato skin vodka the proletariat will have?

Don't worry Chewbacca you won't be eating Tiddles, keeping pets will be banned as that would be offensive to the animal kingdom, implicating humans are superior to them.

That should be implying not implicating!!! Only had one cup of coffee so far today!

Are English snails edible? Have so many in the garden. Will we be told to dig up grass like the Chinese were under Mao?

Yes, English British snails are edible, bur smaller than the varieties eaten in countries that go in for that sort of thing. I was once told by a Frenchwoman that the reason we don't have any of the bigger juicier ones is because the British refuse to catch and eat thrushes, so the said thrushes have eaten all our good snails (untrue, they just haven't colonised here) So we could always eat thrushes, if we can find any.

loopy You will have to catch enough snails and then keep them in captivity on a diet of plain water long enough to clean them before cooking. I'm not sure they'd be worth the effort.

Eating cats; thrushes and snails come the revolution? Think this could be the time that I finally lose weight! But think how sexy I'm going to look in my regulation, one size fits all, sludge colour boiler suit and flat black sensible shoes.
I've had a thought..... will certain books and magazines be banned when Himself becomes leader? Will we have the equivalent of the Marxist Little Red Book?

We will have the little red book, it has already been given in parliament , and there is The Communist Manifesto by a chap called K Marx

On the spot fines if you're caught out and about without a copy in your pocket Annie? There may well be more fines for other "indiscretions" too.

The bestselling book will be by The Great One and called
'Motorbiking Through Cuba' subtitled 'If there's one thing that I like, it's a burn up on my bike, a burn up with a bird that's what I like' all royalties will be split between the Great One and his old girlfriend, mysteriously called 'D' in the book.??