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Come the revolution

(175 Posts)
Anniebach Fri 08-Sept-17 10:10:44

When the Corbyn-MOMENTUM party are in no 10 things will be so different.

Will we address each other as comrade?

lemongrove Sun 10-Sept-17 22:25:08

Your loyalty will not go unnoticed grumpaa although the Trabant may be going it a bit, a reconditioned Reliant Robin may be more the thing, and by dacha you do mean a tiny cabin in the woods I hope?

lemongrove Sun 10-Sept-17 22:28:41

Vodka ( but no Coke) will be our National drink, knocked back from tiny shot cups made from recycled bicycle handlebars.

lemongrove Sun 10-Sept-17 22:33:49

Momentum will take over from MI5, and their security operatives will all wear black berets, dark glasses and scarlet t shirts with the slogan 'Red Or Dead' printed on the front.
Please, please, don't try and argue with them!

Chewbacca Sun 10-Sept-17 22:57:52

But won't we need the bicycles lemon? Trabants and Reliant Robins will only be for the elite. The rest of us will definitely have to "get on our bikes".
I've had a thought, will we have our living space allotted to us according to how many people are in the family? Will we have to bunk up with other Comrades?
That's very selfless of you Grumpa and dangerous too, as Annie said. I suspect there will be a bit of a run on people looking to topple The Great Comrade Leader.

lemongrove Sun 10-Sept-17 23:00:44

I offer to bunk up with Comrade Clooney.?

Chewbacca Sun 10-Sept-17 23:06:04

grin

lemongrove Mon 11-Sept-17 08:43:59

We will need the bicycles, definitely, but since there will be so many, there will be many clapped out ones too, which must be put to good use, and what better use than shot cups for (home made, naturally) vodka?We will be encouraged to drink one small shot of it a day, to keep the doctor away, ( as most of the doctors will have fled to Australia and Canada) as their salaries will be the same here as workers who repair our roads.

Elegran Mon 11-Sept-17 08:50:07

Will the vodka be made from potatoes or lentils?

Elegran Mon 11-Sept-17 08:50:55

We could convert the bicycles to run on potato vodka (best use for it)

Elegran Mon 11-Sept-17 08:51:51

But that may lay us open to arrest for private enterprise and profiteering.

lemongrove Mon 11-Sept-17 08:59:58

Oh, both potato and lentil I think, and some enterprise will be smiled upon as long as most of the profits go back to the State ( who all run Bentleys.)Those gas guzzlers need a lot of upkeep.Keep pedalling ,workers!?

sunseeker Mon 11-Sept-17 10:47:36

The elite will have limosines (and drivers) not Trebants or Robin Reliants. However, as no-one else will have a car pollution will be greatly reduced (for which the great leader will take credit). The elite will be photographed drinking beer (it being the drink of the working classes) but privately will be indulging in the finest whiskey and champagne as befits their superior station in life. Scargill will not be brought back to run the mines (he will, however, be allowed to continue to live in the union financed flat he is currently staying in). There will be an election to decide who does run the mines, preference will be given to those who have shown blind loyalty to the great leader -Chakrabati springs to mind.

Anniebach Mon 11-Sept-17 13:12:38

Private enterprise ? We are talking death penalty now

Blind loyalty to the great leader? This means an all female election

What will happen to Eaton and Harrow ?

gillybob Mon 11-Sept-17 13:42:22

Will we begin to see yearly topless holiday photographs featuring "our great leader" carrying out various manly pursuits such as jam making and carrot planting?

sunseeker Mon 11-Sept-17 13:44:03

Eton and it's like will be used for the education of the children of the elite. All other children will be taught in state schools which will be geared to the speed of the slowest person in the class in order that they do not feel discriminated against. Anyone attempting to improve their education outside of the state school system will be forced to read the speeches of the great leader and write a 20,000 word essay explaining why they were wrong to try to improve themselves.

Anniebach Mon 11-Sept-17 14:27:59

Gilly, what acthought, no he will keep his vest on,

There is also his fondness for manhole covers, will we have to walk around them not over them?

sunseeker, that will please Shami , she tried to get her son in Eaton but failed

gillybob Mon 11-Sept-17 14:35:46

Oh I am so disappointed Anniebach I was looking forward to comparing moobs with the photographs I have of my dear Poots.

lemongrove Mon 11-Sept-17 14:42:38

grin and also, shudder.

Anniebach Mon 11-Sept-17 14:44:52

Think I best make a mug of tea , calm my tummy down.

lemongrove Mon 11-Sept-17 14:46:50

I think Eton and other top public schools will stay open,
In order not to have to throw all those teachers on the scrap heap, and in a very self sacrificing act ( because the Great New Elite do not agree with these type of schools) They will very kindly send all their own children there , even though they really want them to attend St.Bogstandards.

sunseeker Mon 11-Sept-17 14:47:17

gillybob, we may get the yearly pictures but I think he will be photographed wearing his beloved tracksuit, possibly also a pinny if jam making.

lemongrove Mon 11-Sept-17 14:48:53

At a stroke, we will all become vegetarian, unwanted cows and sheep will jam our motorways and we will all be gasping for a bacon butty.

Anniebach Mon 11-Sept-17 14:49:43

Sugar will be rationed , perhaps even banned , toffee and fudge without sugar - sob

Anniebach Mon 11-Sept-17 14:51:06

No sheep in Wales?

sunseeker Mon 11-Sept-17 15:02:48

Sugar will be banned (except for when the beloved leader uses it to make his jam), also salt, chocolate and anything else deemed bad for the health of the proletariat. Tobacco will be banned except for those in the political elite.