Non binery people

My grandaughter (aged 16) recently informed us she is non-binary. We cannot call her 'she' or 'her' but have to refer to her as 'they'. l'm finding it quite confusing and afraid of saying the wrong thing and upsetting her (them). But 25 years ago my daughter (her mother) informed me she was a goth, now aged 43 she is a very grounded wondeful mother and registered child minder who the kids adore. So l am biding my time and respecting my gds wishes and waiting with interest to see how she/they turn out. But l know what my dear old dad would have said. 'Don't be so bloody daft!'. By the way l watched Piers Morgan interviewing Fox and Owl and l know who came off best.

This might help

www.itv.com/news/2017-05-17/gender-non-binary-couple-in-heated-gmb-debate/

What interests me is whilst Owl and Fox are certainly non binary names the clothes they were wearing and their hair and facial hair certainly defined them as a known gender So maybe they should have been wearing long Middle Ages tunics and had middle of the road hair and no beards so they really looked neutral

One of my grandchildren has named themselves non binary. Lovely individual who is negotiating their way through various life challenges and has expressed gratitude that their extended family accepts this.

I read that more autistic individuals are seeking help with sexual identity. |Give how much more of a challenge life is for people on the ASD that isn't a surprise.

I feel its a good thing that rigidity around sexual/gender issues are being challenged. I find it ironic that this is happening alongside the increasing move towards gender specific clothes and toys from infancy through childhood.

I don't feel comfortable with the idea of giving prepubescent children drugs to stop them developing into the physical gender they were born into. Give them time, adolescence is not the time to be making such key decisions. I recognise many would disagree with that point of view. Difficult isn't it.

Agree with everything you have said Iam64, very well put, but I can't get my head around the reason / benifit of being described as non binary . To me it's like saying don't call me a human being , call me a collection of parts covered in skin ... just saying

I see it as saying don't refer to me as a specific type of human being, unless I ask you to.

I too am happy for People to be what they are, but who dreams up all these daft names, and how much are they paid to do it?

Daft to the core

I'm not sure that sex or gender is a matter of "choice" any more than age or race. But increasingly we are been given the idea that we can choose a preferred gender or none and everyone else in society has to accept that. Childhood and adolescence is such a time of rapid development and change, I am not sure that permanent decisions which will affect ones whole life/ physical body should be taken at that stage of life. I know if someone had asked me aged 7, if I wanted to be a boy I would have said yes. However, I'm a happy female now and have been since adolescence. With the idea of "choice" of gender, maybe we have created more confusion and anxiety.

I'm totally confused by the whole non binary thing.

I'm afraid I just don't understand how you would use the term 'they' or 'them' for one person.

I'm adding it to my list of 'The Worlds gone crazy' things .

They/them for one person has always been used. E.g. I saw someone come out of the station, then they ran straight across the road.

The Japanese language does not refer to people as he or she, unless necessary. They find it very odd that the English language refers constantly to the type of genitalia that each person has.

I'm just glad my dear old Nana isn't alive to witness the way things have changed. She'd be appalled

Jeez, mine too downsized What on earth are we coming to when girls and boys can't be described as such.

What did you daughter have?

A baby.

Girl or boy?

Neither. Just a baby.

Pathetic.

Agree NannaandGrampy, they & them are plural, saying 'them or they over there'is just not grammatically correct.saying ' Non gender specific 'however does at least give some indication of the meaning behind the discription

Brilliant Granybob

Sorry meant Gillybob !

There was an episode recently on "StarTrek" featuring Binaries, they had no gender. It posed interesting questions and conclusions even if only entertainment value.

gillybob your post reminded me of that episode of Only Fools and Horses when Raquel has just given birth and Rodney asks Del Boy 'what is it?' and Del Boy replies 'it's a little baby!'.

First world problems.

I noted with interest that Jack Munroe the food campaigner now standing for election wants to be neutral. She has a son, then declared herself a lesbian and is now neutral. Talk about greedy.

I think we pander far too much to minority groups and thereby cause unlimied misery to vulnerable people, who are looking for identity in a stressful world.

People hve always been at either end of the spectrum, my auntie Alice was a bank robber also known as Billy, we just let her get on with it.

Why do we have the declarations of people who want us to accept them, then they want toilets, prisons, all leaflets printed to accommodate their preference, changes to pro nouns, uniforms, it beccomes a minefield for the rest of us.

Some people who have surgery change their minds later and want it all reveresed. it is all very sad and expolitative of what is just confusions and nature is full of those.

We live in a pretty liberated time for clothing, boys in skirts? if they must.

The people on the television called themselves Fox and Owl.....where will it all end this constant, bizarre acting out and how healthy can it be?

I live in Glastonbury we have fairies here and Goddesses and Zombies............anything goes

Live and let live, it doesn't really matter what you are.

Talk about greedy.
Just going with the trend perhaps?

My DB always called me 'Rabbit' when I was young
should I change my name officially?

I think it's a good thing if it means children and young people don't feel forced into a stereotype.
When DCs were little, Lego for example was non-gender specific but now it's all princesses for girls and aerospace for boys.
How insulting is that? Either we want girls and boys to be able to fulfill their potential in whatever field interests them, and express themselves as they wish, or we want to pigeon-hole them and force them into roles that don't suit their personality.
I don't agree with hormone treatment until a young person is able to give informed and valid consent, but that applies to any medical intervention.

If you complain to Lego about it janea, as I did, then you get absolutely nowhere except a reply thanking you for taking an interest, they are responding to public demand and an endless stream of emails offering me the latest 'Lego' toy!

Thanks for the warning jalima.
I do wonder whether today's parents buy gender-specific toys as a sort of reaction against the 'equal' upbringing many of our generation sought to provide.

Is it just me. Men seem to want to be women I don't hear of many women wanting to be a man. Or are they lying low.

My 3 DGC have masses of Lego at mine. They all play with all of it. Fairies, castles, Disney princes and princesses, Batman characters, boats, planes, dogs, cats, bats and rats. The girls chose what they wanted and the little boy chose what he likes too. Nothing will ever stop some little girls choosing pink and pretty things and some little boys choosing the characters they like too. Having said all that... when my grandson plays "his" Lego Batman always "doofs" the Disney princesses or casually knocks them off the top of their castle.