"We just have to count it as another day done towards the healing", I said once again to DH. "It has been 48 so far", he replied.

That sounds so frightening and worrying, synonymous, pleased your husband is on the mend but the time shortly after discharge can be a worrying and exhausting one, it perhaps doesn't feel totally safe. It isn't unusual to react when things are getting better. You are allowed to howl, the fear has to come out somehow, I hope you both have some help, if your husband has been your carer do you need some professional help in the short term? Otherwise take up any offer of practical help from family, friends or neighbours whether to pick up a newspaper, cut the grass or put the rubbish out. Being at home with you will help him hugely but if you can encourage your husband to be honest about how he is feeling you will worry less, Should either of you be worried then do seek medical help. No one will mind. It's been a horrid time, be kind to yourself now, hoping he is so much better very soon.

I have no insight or advice but I just wanted to wish him well and hope he continues to recover well.
for you too.

Thank goodness you still have him and he's mending. We can all feel 'pathetic' and have a good howl sometimes, often with less reason that you have.

I hope it's been cathartic and you are feeling a bit more positive now it's morning (((hugs)))

You have been through a lot synonymous and people are not always aware of the cost in stress, mental and physical strain of the person or people "around" the patient.
Of course I am delighted for you and him that he is gradually on the mend, but when people ask "How is he!" they should also be asking "How are YOU?"
Hang on in there, you are not being pathetic at all and your reaction is entirely understandable especially to any parent or partner of someone who has experienced major trauma.

Not at all pathetic synonymous, its been a big upheaval and trauma for both of you. Don't try to do everything, basics only and get help in the short term at least. Better to take things slowly and make a good recovery than trying to do too much and relapsing.
You will get there don't worry

Just for you, it is awful to feel tired all the time, but surprising what a good cry can do. Time seems to go so slowly when you are worn out with worry and uncertain future, no answers just sympathy, sorry.

It's good to cry synonymous and not at all pathetic. As others have said, it takes time, but make sure you ask for help if you can. Your GP may be able to provide help. Don't battle on alone if possible. Sending and hugs.
Take care.

Not at all pathetic synonymous - please don't be afraid to ask for practical help for the next little while, at least until you are both feeling stronger. Never under estimate the effects of stress on the body or the mind.
Take care

I send you and your DH my heartfelt good wishes, synonymous. Have a good howl - that alone may help more than you imagine and is not at all pathetic. It takes time to come to terms with a trauma such as you have both experienced. .

Oh dear synonymous what a time you and your DH have had.
I agree with all that has been said
re accepting any help offered.

A good howl will release all your pent up feelings an emotions.
I bet you have been putting on the 'brave face ' whilst your DH has been in hospital.
That in itself is exhausting.

I wish you and your husband a speedy recovery

The good news is the your DH is on the mend synonymous and each day should progress his recovery. You have both been under a lot of stress and now is the time to let it out and allow yourself to recover too.

I think I heard a plea from mawb for understanding of the strain carers are under in her post and I hope that your friends and family DO ask how you are maw - you have a hard road and I for one admire how you follow it. and for you too.

Synonymous?
Adrenalin gets you through things at first, then it's all busy for a while, and when things go quiet, that's when the feeling of wanting to cry appears.So, cry if you need to, emotions need to come out.Hope your DH continues to do well, just being at home will have a positive effect for him.

synonymous I hope you're feeling a bit better for letting it out, and it's good that your dh is on the road to recovery.
As he's your carer, you wouldn't be human if his accident hadn't scared you in more ways than one, so be kind to yourself as well as him ?

synonymous how our lives can change in an instant!
It is early days yet but thankfully he is on the road to recovery and you still have each other. Sometimes a good howl is the best thing - it can be cathartic.

All the best to both of you and you can look forward now to summer days to help you feel better

I completely echo gaga's post. I wish you and your husband well synonymous and howl away if it helps.

Synonymous What a terrible thing to happen to you both. A good howl is therapeutic, you need to release all your pent up emotions to help heal you. It may well be that the shock is finally coming out - it's not always immediate. Take care of yourself, not just DH, and accept any help that is offered. We're often too good at coping!!

I hope your DH continues to make a good recovery and that you start to feel better. When my DH was so ill last summer I waited till he was home before I could have the really good cry - then I had a few ! With any luck brighter days are ahead both for your lives and when you look out of the window. X X x

What a horrible time for you both. Good wishes to your DH that he is fully recovered soon and to you to take care of yourself.

How stressful for you both but thank goodness he's on the mend and you can start to look forward rather than dwelling on what has happened. A good cry works wonders and releases all that pent up emotion so just let it out. In the interim just concentrate on getting through each day and taking care of each other

Thank you for all the good wishes. I had been holding up ok, probably too well, but DH was asleep and everything just fell on top of me. I went along to the other end of the bungalow and shut all the doors between us and just went for it!

I will accept whatever help is available/offered but have found myself at a disadvantage as DH is so independent and has told anyone who asks that he can manage - but I can't and they are only just starting to reaĺise it.. I was not included in the original discussions when discharge was mooted and DH just told me that everything was in hand.
I think that because he was managing in the hospital (where staff were available at the press of a button) he thought he would be fine at home too. Reality at home is very different. They ask me what help I need but I find it difficult (I am post stroke) to quantify what IT actually is. It seems like a weird dance where they ask what I need and I ask what is available and they go back to asking what I need. It seems they are not allowed to offer anything proactively it has to be a response to a request. I am just too tired to play those kind of games. We do get 30 minutes of help at tea time to get a meal which is certainly a help but on the other hand I cannot get 2 minutes of help to make our bed because it is considered non-essential. It doesn't seem non-essential when you are faced with a bed 6' wide which is in a big muddle after someone with multiple casts has fought his way out of it after tossing about all night!

Family have been to help in relays and were absolutely brilliant but have had to go home and back to work now, they live a long way off. Every day is another day of healing and hopefully when the next x-rays are done they will show signs of bones mending. As I understand it metal plates etc do inhibit healing but are essential to hold all the bits together to enable healing to happen so it is clearly going to be a long job.
I have had the furniture arranged so that DH can get around more easily in his wheelchair and with the binoculars at hand in the sitting room window so that he can thoroughly inspect the garden. So many lovely things popping up now which is great but tantalising - and making his green fingers twitch.

synonymous greatest sympathy, I hope you get the help you need.

I was badly injured in an accident in August and it is really hitting me no; though I made a good recovery (over months) I have felt a bit shaky in the last couple of weeks which I think is delayed reaction.

What is really important for you to remeber is that you have also had a massive shock. You don't say, I think, if you were in the accident, but either way it will have shaken you thoroughly and that takes time to get over, and you have had no space for yourself.

What I'm trying to say, is be gentle to yourself, try to give yourself little treats to get through the day and so on, don't lose sight of your own needs emotionally and maybe try contacting victim support on behlaf of both of you.

I know how you feel about a bed being in a mess. DH is perfectly healthy but gets out of a bed in the morning that I can only describe as storm tossed. I don't know how he does it and you have my sympathy . After I had a hip replacement I just gave up and shut the door. Have you a neighbour who might help with changing the bed linen?

Just adding my good wishes for you both x

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