Feeling sorry for men

In days of yore when we were going to a 'do' OH would say something like 'why don't you get yourself something new to wear?' At the time he was the only earner but I balanced the books and, if we could afford it, I would buy whatever for whoever needed it the most. He would never have wanted to come with me and I never expected him to. However, after our son was born I did expect OH to babysit while I went shopping, which worked well for us both. I got a couple of hours to myself, while he got a couple of hours alone with our child which was special for them both.

I shop online. M&S or Bon Marche.
If M&S have what I like and I know it will fit I buy 2 before they go. Easy Peasy. Lol.

Give and take,GrandTea,some women wouldn't know anything about that.yes and some men.They know take though.

Shopping for clothes on line is no good,most of it goes back,better to see it properly.I buy my husbands clothes.

Couldn't agree more with Trisher. Hate shopping. Ex (male) loves it. But never took him along. Would have preferred both of us to read a book, see a film, go for a walk, etc, and then swap thoughts.

The scale hasn't tipped. I am a 65 yr old man with a varied background. After years of physical work, destroying my body, I was put on permanent disability. My wife, at the time, could earn a good salary in her own profession this left me as disabled househusband. Did I feel "unmanned" no. I knew I was still the man, male role model, in the home. I carried out the duties normally reserved for womwn, in the traditional society, shopping, cleaning, washing, pack ups, cooking. Had I lost my place? No, all my children respect me and love me as do my grandchildren. Waiting outside a changing room is something I have done on request but most often a woman prefers the company of another woman, so it was rare. I only will meet women on an equal basis, I know I'm a man, where is the problem.

Precisely Mick, "Where is the problem"

From Trisher "So yes there are women who will objectify men, and vice versa. The time this becomes unacceptable is when the person being objectified is regarded as inferior and has no means of countering this."

Men, in general, are at no risk of being in that position.

Exactly FarNorth. It has also just occurred to me that there are people of both sexes who don't mind being thought of as 'sex objects' and even play up to that image.

I dont feel sorry for men! I find the phrase quite demeaning! isnt that discriminating? ?

GandTea .

Please stop feeling sorry for us. It is making me feel uncomfortable, not used to it I'm sure a punch line is waiting in the wings.

I hate shopping but OH does come with me if I am forced to buy something. We went into Inverness yesterday but only got as far as the curtain shop, then went to the garden centre. The vouchers I have will have to wait. This was my decision.

Could really upset people by saying I don't want equality. Why should I lower my standards? This is a JOKE

Tizliz, "why should I lower my standards" so that you are the same a most women of course -- that is also a joke --- next.

My late husband drove and I don't so we shopped together for things we were both interested in e.g. plants or furniture and he went to the pub while I went in clothes shops. He went on his own for the main food shop (whilst I was doing housework) and we went to together for nice bits at the deli or farmers market or M&S food. I've never gone clothes shopping with someone else (except when my children were small and had to be with me). I don't understand why women need to have girlfriends with them to shop.

GandTea Tue 21-Jun-16 12:18:00

I don't feel sorry for men at all. Some of my best friends are men. In fact I get on very well with men and enjoy their conversation and company (unless it turns to golf

Nothing has gone too much 'the other way'

I don't feel sorry for men. How has the pendulum swung the other way? How many men are killed by their female partners every week? How many women are in Parliament, in banking, in top jobs ? I think that a lack of respect for women is still prevalent.
I was reminded of it only last week. I went around inspecting some Environment Agency assets with a bunch of Men. I was the only woman and I am well qualified to talk about sustainable Water Management. My husband came with me. It was like I was invisible. Even though my husband knows less than me, it was to him they turned. It is called mansplaining.
The PrimeMinister did it fairly recently, to a woman, in Parliament when he told a colleague ' calm down dear' Outrageous....
I still think we have along way to go.
I don't want to be better or worse than men, I want to be considered as different but treated with equal respect.
I like to shop alone, by the way.

Too right sister!

Spot on sweethearts.

I certainly don't think "the pendulum has swung too much the other way". Not when women continue to be under-represented in almost every area of life, except those areas where they would prefer not to be represented - stalking, rape, domestic violence/murder.

Have to agree with Trisher. I hate shopping too, and it irritates the bejasus out of me when people imply that all women love it.
And even when I do go it's very rarely with dh - unless it's to the garden centre and I need him to lug bags of compost about.
In any case, he has a habit of wandering off and disappearing in shops, which is another reason to go alone. It was years ago, just before Hallowe'en, when we happened to go to the garden centre for an old fashioned besom broom (among other things) for sweeping leaves off the lawn.

So dh wandered off, as usual, and there was I left fuming at the checkout, clutching my besom broom, when I noticed a little kid looking anxiously at me and half hiding behind her mother. 'Mummy,' she whispered, just loud enough for me to hear, 'is she a witch?' ??

Well I love shopping but my DH doesn't, except for Aldi, Lidle, Screwfix or B&Q.

SO WHAT? He loves watching Cricket, Rugby, Snooker, etc. He will listen to a bunch of boring men talking endlessly about the colour of away shirts, their playing styles, their managers etc, until the crack of dawn. The papers and the TV are crammed with information about sport. Imagine the news ending everyday with a report about hair,shoe styles and clothes. It would be laughable. I think the world we live in is still dominated by men.
We care for them and cater for their needs much better than the other way around. My DH hasn't got a clue about what I like to eat or how I think really. He stands at the bedroom door if I am ill, saying 'would you like to eat something? I feel like saying FFS No ! I want you to starve me to death. They are clueless creatures but we need them to fix the the blocked sink........so they think.
Also they are good for a great 'you know what'
He is lying beside me now yawning and eyeing me up........help lol

janeayres

Have to disagree Jane I don't think we do always care and cater for their needs better than they do for us. Maybe I've got the one in a million but generally Grampy does a good job of looking after me .

He knows what I need when I'm ill( leave me alone to die please ) he puts me first 99 times out of a 100 and I know that. He knows EXACTLY how I think.

Maybe that's 40 years of marriage. Maybe I feel that way because I'm 'in charge' well someone has to be and I'm the decisive, quick thinking one. There are days when he couldn't make a decision to save his life...and sometimes that's good , other times less so.

I can't be alone in thinking they aren't 'clueless creatures' ?

ps I could unblock my own sink if I have to - I just don't have to