Need Advice

Rosabella

They love their cat. They probably feel as bad as you do.

The cat is probably petrified as well.

For the sake of peace buy a clothing rail. They won't be here for ever, and you want to stay friends don't you?

You do

I agree with Nonnie1. Grit your teeth and buy a clothing rail. I'm more amazed that the dogs and the cat are surviving together! I can't imagine it happening with my two dogs ??!

Buy a really cheap wardrobe like this one for £39 ! and put your clothes in it in the spare room. Actually, you could put them in the spare room as well, and have your bedroom back.

Or they could buy the really cheap wardrobe. Even better.

Or... you could try giving the cat a poke in the eye with a sharp stick stroke ?

Nonnie, how could you even think such a thing after saying you would not hurt any creature (or something like that) Poor pussy.

I do think they should adhere to your request but I can also see that the cat which is an indoor cat would be petrified to be in close proximity to dogs when its probably never even seen a dog it will be able to smell them and I can fully understand it wanting to hide in the closet. For the sake of peace I'd do as the others suggest.

You might offer to pay for the cat to stay in a cattery.

Thanks for your input. I guess that was a no brainer.
Now perhaps more challenging... how not to let my 3 small dogs meet up with the cat. Both sets of animals are used to having free run in their respective homes. The 3 yr old cat hisses and spits at anyone who visited my son and DIL in their own home before they moved in with us. It does not like visitors and it tries to swipe/scratch anyone who tries to pass it in a room. Even my son and DIL have deep scratches on their arms, feet etc.
My first grandchild is due early next year and I'm very fearful for it with this cat around but I guess it's not really my business, so I'll have to get used to all this new MIL, grandparent, dynamic. Trying very hard, maybe too hard not to be the MIL from hell.

Think annodomini had the best idea. I have three dogs and a cat who live amicably together but your son's cat sounds fearsome. I would be concerned about the new baby and the cat too. I am an animal lover but the baby must come first.

The sharp stick is beginning to find favour with me!

This sounds like a nightmare - personally I would have said they could come, but their cat would have to find other accommodation - a cattery? Other people's pets in your home are some kind of hell!

I think we need to know more about the mental state of this cat.

Has it been abused? Is it a rescue cat? Is it old? If an animal is old and has never been in a cattery before it is cruel to do this, plus it's not fair on the cattery people !

When I was a teenager I had a job looking after cats in a cattery and some of them were best left alone, but we were warned by the owner in advance.

Also, and I know I've been there... when folks have a pet and no children yet, they tend to treat the pet like a baby, and animals are not stupid - they play on that.

Nonni, I like cats, have previously owned them but I don't like this one. My DIL got the cat as a kitten when my son was away working and I guess he thought it was company for her but it always seemed wild, timid and too fast to lash out. It's not at all sociable, It can't be hugged, it doesn't like it which is fine, some cats don't. My daughter went to look after it when they went on honeymoon and she has scratches on her feet where it has swiped her as she moved from room to room.

When I stayed over and got up in the night to go to the bathroom it hissed and spat at me and I had to have a duvet between me and the cat to make sure I wasn't attacked in the corridor to the bathroom. Then it was sat on a chest of drawers when I came back and kept lashing out at my hand as I tried to reach the door handle, to open the bedroom door. As you mentioned this is their baby until the baby arrives and then there will be some tough decisions to make!!
In the mean time, I do not want my dogs eyes swiped and the only sure way is to keep them apart. I feel I have to negotiate this because they want the cat to have the run of the house and it's just not possible.

I'm beginning to wonder why your S and DiL are prepared to give house room to such a hostile, vicious cat. To expect YOU to give it house room is definitely a step too far. If it were me, I wouldn't be banning it from my closet. I'd be banning it from my house. Cattery all the way.

they want the cat to have the run of the house . Sorry, words fail me. They are aware this is your house, aren't they?

Crikey. Poor cat. Poor dogs. Poor everyone! Leave the cat where it is until it settles. It's not a bad cat. It's frightened. Cats take change of territory a lot worse than dogs. It's only for a short time? so best not to create a family dog/cat feud that could end in resentment between your family that may fester for years. Put your clothes on a rail for the time being. Trust me. DIL loves that cat as much as you love your dogs. Cat may emerge from the closet in time (do you live abroad with your choice of word 'closet' not 'wardrobe'?) and unless your dogs are aggressive breeds, they may all get along (most cats get the better of the dogs but rarely seriously harm them). You haven't said how long this is for. Hopefully not too long and try to hold onto the thought that your son and DIL will love you forever if you 'move your clothes'! and try not to get too 'choose between me and swipey the cat'. Our pets aren't with us for that long really. Our children and their partners are.

ps - cat net for sure if any grandchildren

breeze, I'm english but have lived outside of this country for 40yrs hence picking up "foreign language i.e. closet"

I really don't want to turn this into me sounding mean. I'm concerned. I want to be a good MiL and future grandparent. I feel sorry for my DiL to have to live with us just after getting married but my son has got a job abroad in a few months and their lease was up and they could not extend so it means they need somewhere to live until they go abroad which may now be after the baby is born next year.

By the cat having run of the house, I mean they want it to explore and get comfortable in it's new surroundings. I just want a strategy where the cat can wander if the dogs are confined say in the evening in one room with me, or any other time that I know the dogs and cat cannot bump into each other. Under those circumstances I'd be happy for the cat to explore the rest of the house.
Last year one of my dogs got a scratch to its eye from undergrowth. I had to travel each day 1.30hr to a specialist eye vet to have its eye treated and monitored so it didn't have to be removed. It cost me £120 everyday 'consultation fee" just to tell me everything is progressing nicely, same time tomorrow! If he changed the eyedrops it was £45 a bottle. (I don't have pet insurance, never needed it abroad, was nowhere near as expensive as here in the UK) I really don't want to get into that scenario again so you understand why I don't want the dogs and cat to have a chance meeting.
What I really want is for my S & DIL to agree this is the way forward and everyone is happy and the pets are safe.

How big are the dogs? In relation to the spiteful moggy?

Oh. You've said they're small. Release them all and let them fight it out?

I think I will get off this thread. I am having a little difficulty in taking it seriously anymore.

I have 2 lovely natured cats, no swiping or scratching, they will both even roll over for tummy rubs (both from Cats Protection, btw, one with us for 4 years now, the other for 2?)

However, George, the workshop cat is a little sod/git horror! Gorgeous looking, but very inclined to suddenly decide to scratch you halfway through a stroke, or attach himself to your ankle and lower leg with all 4 paws!

Sorry, but cats that are aggressive to their owners are not good pets.

I am reading this with an open mouth !! OH just asked what was wrong when I gave a snort of horror ! Whos house why should you put up with a nasty cat !and why is your wardrobe intheir room , move it or them to the empty room , they might suddenly find somewhere to rent after all