Nuisance by foreign men

I live in London and being hassled for money is a way of life. I am way beyond being hassled for anything else now!

What do you mean by "hassled"? There are people all over the place offering the Big Issue, begging, asking for their fare home, many of them are foreigners but I always think they might be asylum seekers or refugees from places of conflict. A curt 'No thank you" usually works. If she has been threatened or other wise subjected to abuse she should report it to the police.

No not for money. Saying she is sexy, can I have your phone number, and not taking no for an answer, that type of thing. The latest one was worse than the others, she ended up trying to lose him at escalators.

I'm wondering what nationality where the alleged ten sexual abusers of the woman in Bluewater, Kent

My DD1 age 30 also lives in Londin but hasnt mentioned this .Will ask her .Is your daughter blonde by any chance?Its not a new problem. In 1983 i went to Paris(aged 23) wuth a long blonde haired friend .We (she) were constantly hasslede by Arabic looking men .I think at the time I would have been described as the better looking of the two of us ..It got beyond a joke.Had we been older we would probably have been more assertive and less accepting and the mores of the time were different
I think my own DDs would draw attention of other people to it and make a huge fuss but it takes a fair bit of confidence to do that
It's the only way to stop it though .

If they do't take 'no' for an answer she should tell them, "If you continue to pester me I am going to take out my phone and record everything you say or do. I will then send this to the police." If it is the same area/people who are doing this it might be a good idea for her to contact her local police community support officer and explain what is happening. If she then gets their contact details she can send anything she records straight to them. I don't think nationality matters. No one should be allowed to pester anyone else.

No, not blonde. Average prettiness, average height and build.

She does have confidence. I never thought to tell her to kick up a huge fuss. Thanks.

trisher, I will ask her if it is the same area.
Never thought about telling her to record it either. Thanks. Looks like I could do with as much educating about this as daughter!

Other DD is in Manchester Will ask her too .Abolutely agree that ethnicity of the abuser is irrelevant but I suspect some of it is attitudes which are regarded as acceptable in country of origin -especially to white women,which I assume your daughter is .Reeducation is the answer .

I didn't think of it obieone ( and actually I probably couldn't do it -take too long to work out which buttons to push!) I do have friends who are very stroppy, they used to do the 'Reclaim the street' walks. Remember them? Maybe we need some new ones.

My DD has to travel all over the world for her job and has never mentioned being confronted in this way. When she was in China girls would come up to her and touch her hair or ask for photos with her.

I vaguely remember Reclaim the street walks. Sounds like a very good idea.

I am not sure if the ethnicity of the men are irrelevant or not. Nor about that it is London or not.

When I was trundling young GC in buggies around London every Monday, I couldn't help but notice that the men who always came over to help me up & down stairs, getting on & off trains had foreign accents/appearances. The worst place for help was amongst the besuited native speakers in Canary Wharf. I had abuse only twice, once from elderly
man & once from an elderly woman, both white with local accents.

Thinking about it there may be some men living in this country who have been raised with the belief that women who say 'no' don't really mean it, and when they run away the women really want to be pursued, and will change their mind if pestered. Perhaps we do need some education. I think making a scene and involving others is a great idea.

I entirely agree Trisher. She should make a fuss but also highlight what's happening to the community police. They need to know this is going on. I'm glad DD moved back from London.

Wasn't it ever thus - or is the implication that it is mainly immigrant men doing the hassling? I lived and worked in London as a young woman in the 60s and there was plenty of hassling going on then but we dealt with it. I'm not saying today's young women should put up with it, I'm just saying it has always gone on so I doubt we can blame the immigrants. In my day it was mainly home grown Teddy Boys!

I could educate them, but I don't want to offend people by saying how.

I dont know if it was immigrants or not. I wouldnt necessarily think so.

Jane10. I will tell her that too.

I agree with NotTooOld, it certainly happened to me when I was young in London. I remember being touched in an inappropriate place when I was on a packed tube, and I shouted out "Whose hand was that?" Someone also hassled me in Paris too.
What I'm saying is, if you live in a capital city you kind of learn to glare and prepare to be stroppy. I see teenage schoolgirls travelling on the tube at weekends and to be honest, they seem to be quite capable of taking care of themselves. Perhaps confidence in dealing with such things comes with experience.

OMG just because something happened to you when you were younger it doesn't mean such behaviour was, or is, acceptable. It used to happen because women were still treated as second class citizens. It shouldn't happen these days at all. Perhaps some people are trying to make out that they were irresistible, I don't know, but remembering your youth really isn't helpful.

But trisher,the question asked by the OP was whether it was "on the increase?" and surely that question can only be answered by comparing with former times and by those of us who have had experience of such behaviour.

Point taken, trisher, but I was really trying to say that we can't necessarily blame 'foreign men' (see OP) when this has always gone on - and I certainly was not implying that I was irresistible when young (or old)!

Remember 'Auf Wiedersehen Pet'? Foreign men who go and work abroad without their wives and families get lonely, drink too much, and often are a bit of a nuisance as they are lonely- and egg each other on.

This was the case with Italian men where I live in the 50s, and Spanish ones in the 60s- until they were allowed family re-unification at a later stage and got permanent contracts. Not excusing them, at all... but perhaps an explanation of what happens when young men are away from home. Look at stag parties of UK young men all over the world- and places like Barcelona and Budapest, etc.