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Nuisance by foreign men

(40 Posts)
obieone Fri 22-Apr-16 09:48:01

DD works in London. Been there two years. Walking about, normal daily life, she has been hassled 6 times, and every time it was men, foreign descent.

I dont want to just sweep this under the carpet as I am annoyed.

Are other posters noticing an increase in this sort of thing. Either in London or elsewhere?

Iam64 Sat 23-Apr-16 20:53:03

But it is being spoken about, loudly and frequently. In some other european countries, attempts are being made to 'educate' young men about how to behave around women.

The sexual harassment and sexually verbal abuse I've seen directed at young women in the town I live in has always been from groups of young white men. I 'm not suggesting there have been no sexual offences committed by any our of large Pakistani Muslim population or the very mixed and growing asylum seeking community. I am saying I have never witnessed any casual sexual harassment of young girls from that group, whereas I have all too often seen groups of white lads shouting very sexually abusive comments.

harrigran Sat 23-Apr-16 10:54:38

GD is six and attends Karate classes. I was amazed to see her reaction last week when her dad came up behind her, he touched her shoulder and she spun round and blocked any further advance.

petra Sat 23-Apr-16 09:43:59

Jane 10 Exactly. As in 'nothing happened' in Cologne on New Year's Eve or Tahrir square. But it won't be spoken about, yet, because of PC.

trisher Sat 23-Apr-16 09:03:55

I don't think it is being racist to say that in some cultures interaction between the sexes generally happens in certain ways and that in another country the signals being given out may be misunderstood by the other party. I think understanding this can be helpful. You are right obeione giggling wouldn't help. I wonder if your daughter has thought of doing a self defence course. Not for the physical bit but one of the things they usually teach is how to behave in certain situations to keep yourself safe. It might make her less nervous. Hope all goes well

adaunas Sat 23-Apr-16 08:46:06

Sorry, wrong place to post.

Jane10 Sat 23-Apr-16 08:44:52

I quite understand about your village pompa but I think London is a rather different proposition.

adaunas Sat 23-Apr-16 08:44:13

Yesterday I felt as if I was back in the school playground listening to " if you do that I won't be your friend any more". It was just like the song " I don't want to play in your yard. I don't like you any more . . . You can't play in our back garden, you can't climb our apple tree, I don't want to play in your yard, if you leave the EEC!

pompa Sat 23-Apr-16 08:19:34

WE do get incidents in our village which are reported, the point is, none of these involved foreign men. So unreported incidents would be across the whole population, unreported incidents involving foreign men (if there are any) would be a small percentage.

Jane10 Sat 23-Apr-16 07:57:45

I do think it unwise to just dismiss this for the reasons given by some of the other posters. Yes its a difficult topic but do we shy away from it due to reasons of political correctness? If these incidents are not reported to the police then they officially haven't happened. Nothing apparently happened in Rotherham or the other northern towns either until it was decided that enough was enough and those 'foreign men' were finally arrested.

obieone Sat 23-Apr-16 07:43:38

Good point and good post.
This thread is helping to put my mind at ease.

pompa Sat 23-Apr-16 07:20:42

Especially during the summer we have a large number of foreign single men in our village.(they may be married but are here alone).They come here to work on the farms.
At a recent U3A meeting where the local police were giving a talk. they were asked what they were doing about the crime etc caused by these men. The reply was that in the 7 years this officer had been in the village, there had never been an incident involving foreign workers. Just goes to show how we are biased by media reports and paint everyone with the same brush.
From my very occasional trips to London, it would appear to me that in certain areas, like Oxford St, being foreign is the norm.

NfkDumpling Sat 23-Apr-16 07:06:34

I think Granjura has a good point. Some young men away from the restrictions of their family do use their freedom and anonymity to do things they wouldn't dream of at home.

obieone Sat 23-Apr-16 06:35:28

We spoke to her last night.
She said that she giggles when she is nervous.

We have sent her the link to this thread. We pointed out that she needs a strategy if and when this happens again, as giggling can obviously be misinterpreted.

Thank you for the ideas above. She is taking them all onboard.

Tower Bridge Road, Bank and Old Kent Road were three of the areas she mentioned. I dont think they have anything in common.

Eloethan Sat 23-Apr-16 00:48:57

I don't think it is right, without proper statistical evidence, to imply that foreign men are responsible for possible increases in incidents of sexual harassment and assaults. I don't know if these sorts of incidents are on the increase or not. As others have said, most women have at least some experience of this sort of behaviour - inappropriate/intimidating comments, gropers, flashers, etc. - even in the "old days". But perhaps then women were more embarrassed to report or even talk about these sorts of things and might anyway have thought that they would not be taken seriously.

If someone has been touched, subjected to obscene comments or intimidated in any other way, it should be reported to the police.

granjura Fri 22-Apr-16 22:34:42

Remember 'Auf Wiedersehen Pet'? Foreign men who go and work abroad without their wives and families get lonely, drink too much, and often are a bit of a nuisance as they are lonely- and egg each other on.

This was the case with Italian men where I live in the 50s, and Spanish ones in the 60s- until they were allowed family re-unification at a later stage and got permanent contracts. Not excusing them, at all... but perhaps an explanation of what happens when young men are away from home. Look at stag parties of UK young men all over the world- and places like Barcelona and Budapest, etc.

NotTooOld Fri 22-Apr-16 22:20:41

Point taken, trisher, but I was really trying to say that we can't necessarily blame 'foreign men' (see OP) when this has always gone on - and I certainly was not implying that I was irresistible when young (or old)! grin

Lillie Fri 22-Apr-16 22:09:07

But trisher,the question asked by the OP was whether it was "on the increase?" and surely that question can only be answered by comparing with former times and by those of us who have had experience of such behaviour.

trisher Fri 22-Apr-16 20:53:07

OMG just because something happened to you when you were younger it doesn't mean such behaviour was, or is, acceptable. It used to happen because women were still treated as second class citizens. It shouldn't happen these days at all. Perhaps some people are trying to make out that they were irresistible, I don't know, but remembering your youth really isn't helpful.

Lillie Fri 22-Apr-16 19:34:24

I agree with NotTooOld, it certainly happened to me when I was young in London. I remember being touched in an inappropriate place when I was on a packed tube, and I shouted out "Whose hand was that?" Someone also hassled me in Paris too.
What I'm saying is, if you live in a capital city you kind of learn to glare and prepare to be stroppy. I see teenage schoolgirls travelling on the tube at weekends and to be honest, they seem to be quite capable of taking care of themselves. Perhaps confidence in dealing with such things comes with experience.

obieone Fri 22-Apr-16 18:56:15

Jane10. I will tell her that too.

obieone Fri 22-Apr-16 18:55:00

I dont know if it was immigrants or not. I wouldnt necessarily think so.

petra Fri 22-Apr-16 18:53:20

I could educate them, but I don't want to offend people by saying how.

NotTooOld Fri 22-Apr-16 18:36:08

Wasn't it ever thus - or is the implication that it is mainly immigrant men doing the hassling? I lived and worked in London as a young woman in the 60s and there was plenty of hassling going on then but we dealt with it. I'm not saying today's young women should put up with it, I'm just saying it has always gone on so I doubt we can blame the immigrants. In my day it was mainly home grown Teddy Boys!

Jane10 Fri 22-Apr-16 18:11:50

I entirely agree Trisher. She should make a fuss but also highlight what's happening to the community police. They need to know this is going on. I'm glad DD moved back from London.

trisher Fri 22-Apr-16 18:04:53

Thinking about it there may be some men living in this country who have been raised with the belief that women who say 'no' don't really mean it, and when they run away the women really want to be pursued, and will change their mind if pestered. Perhaps we do need some education. I think making a scene and involving others is a great idea.