Absolutely done in!

DGC and the dogs all know that when I say 'No' that's precisely what I mean and whatever is going on stops there.

How lucky are the GPs who's DGC waited until 4 for the dreaded NOoooo. Our DGD had it by 2.5 and uses it to great effect on her parents, not quite as effective on me!

marionk it was a mildish terrible twos and a raging thunderous threes before the dreaded No
She is so sweet and amenable most of the time.

and at 4.5 she seems to be perfecting the very grownup cutting remark
(I have to walk away to compose my face so that she doesn't know I am laughing)

I used to feel guilty that I didn't absolutely look forward to having the DGC but since reading this I realise I am in the majority. Like others, I find it exhausting too. DH and I insist on a certain standard of behaviour but, by golly, it sure wears you out achieving that standard!

Refreshing and honest thread. Actually feel a little 'normal' for a change.

Luckygirl never a truer word !!

Reasoning and wheedling in our house are referred to as negotiations with terrorist .

There mums and dads can't seem to see that you can't negotiate with 4 year olds :-)

I am an unashamed permissive grandmother. I trust my children to deal with their young'uns, unless asked for advice (sometimes I am!) I just enjoy my amazing grandkids who never fail to amuse, delight and, yes, exhaust me. I tell them that Nanni's rules apply in our house - but they know that anyone breaking the rules will always be loved and forgiven in the usual way...

We think some of the tantrums with our GSs especially the eldest stems from all the choice they are given at meals. I never had a choice and we all ate what we were given, maybe not all of it but there weren't alternatives.

I think kids like boundaries it gives them something to push against but to also feel secure in, mind you it has to start from day 1 , they are gorgeous , amazing but wily wee souls.

NanKate - yes, all that 'what would you like for tea?' stuff really annoys me, especially as it takes the little dears ages to decide and when they get it they don't want it. Sorry - I'm fed up with this rotten Easter weather!

I do agree with that. Sometimes I hear my children asking the GC what they would like, or shall we do this or that, and I think: just don't ask!

Hear, hear! Luckygirl - 'just don't ask' - I've noticed I often agree with your comments!

They may get the option of fishfingers or sausages. Or I may have a shepherd's pie ready to go into the oven.
There is little negotiation.

Yes sometimes there are too many choices for children, I don't think it helps them and sets parents up for a battle that doesn't need to happen. One of my daughters has a good strategy, "what would you like for tea, here are your options....". Basically it's this or that, like it or lump it job done! We had the whole family (19 of us including 8 children) here yesterday to celebrate the old boy's 70th. We all went out for lunch, the children (6-13) were brilliant and I was bursting with granny pride, but I had to work b****y hard on crowd control when we got back to ours, meanwhile their parents relaxed and enjoyed each other's company....
for all loving but slightly frazzled grandparents

I remember having around six ten/eleven year olds to DS2s birthday party. Big mistake! Friends had warned me, but to no avail. Never again!