Absolutely done in!

Good to see them come and good to see them go!

I know how that feels.

With our DG2 we waited and waited for his Mum to discipline him when he played up at ours but eventually I had to say something.

Not to his Mum but to him.

I stopped him mid meltdown ( his mum just carried on drinking her tea and just speaking louder lol). I told him quite quietly that we didn't have that at our house and he had a choice he could carry on and I would put him on our naughty step or he could stop, tell me what was wrong so I could fix it. Took a few trips to the naughty step but we did stop it.

My daughter was just so used to it she just ignored it lol

I think you can do this with daughter not daughter in law.imo

I know people talk about the terrible twos but I suspect that is simply because of the alliteration. Absentdaughter reckons that three-year-olds are by far the most difficult – and she has six children, one of whom is just approaching four and one who hasn't quite got to one year yet. I am inclined to agree with her, both from recollection of her childhood and that of her friends and from my experience with my grandchildren. Mind you, she's only got one in his teens so far…

13 onwards and they should be put in a bedroom (or boarding school) and left until 17 +.
That is my experience of C and GC. Young ones were never a problem, their room or sent home.

LullyDully - you can't always do it with a daughter, either, as I know from experience!

And four year olds learn the word 'NO!'

Have had eight children here today (all under 8), but not all day. They had their mothers (and one father) with them. All very good, but only all together for about an hour then another hour later.

annsixty DH says they go into a tunnel when they are about 10 or 11 and don't come out until they are 20.

Time for a

DH takes no crap nonsense from our youngest DGS. He's the only one who DGS listens to and will stop in mid strop at a look from him. He doesn't hold it against him either and even seems to be glad of someone setting boundaries.

They push the boundaries and it makes everything very tiring!

However, Granny and Grandad's house, Granny and Grandad's rules here and we never take prisoners! It is funny how they know too.

As Jane says they like to have the boundaries set - and we all know they will keep 'checking' to make sure we care enough to keep them there.

Luckygirl have a and a crash out!

I feel for you Luckygirl our 5 year old GS has had major meltdowns since his brother was born 3 years ago. Stressful for us all.

However since starting school last September and having a very strong mature teacher, who he loves, his behaviour has improved immensely.

Hang on in there.

We have our 10 month and 9 week old grandchildren here currently. Both sets of parents at different events. It's delicious and exhausting at the same time.
We haven't hit the difference in discipline issue yet, though it's interesting that his mum says the 9 week old has been screaming loudly between 6 - 9, I followed her routine, bath, feed, bed but bed here is his pram so when he grizzled he was pushed about till he went back to sleep. I did have a different approach to discipline than my oldest daughter but that's a whole other ball game! Have a rest Lucky.

The Thunderous Threes Luckygirl
DGD2 seemed to miss the Terrible Twos and was worse at three, and now at four has learned NO with a stamp of the foot. In between NOs she is absolutely delightful, a really easy lovely child.
DS is very firm.

Same here. I am sometimes appalled at the behaviour of DGC when DD and Sil visit with them. I wait for them to discipline them, until on occasions I can no longer ignore it and have to step in. They give them way too many chances IMHO. If it were down to me they would have 2 strikes and they're out!

I feel for you Lucky - young children are exhausting, and I don't think their parents fully appreciate that it's so much more exhausting at our age. I don't suppose I realised this when I was in my 30s and my mother, in her 60s, looked after my two under threes sometimes.

My DD has long been appalled at the poor behaviour of some of her friends' children and has always said, 'if I'm ever lucky enough to become a mother, I will never, ever let my child get away with that'. Well, she was lucky enough and now has a 9 month old. I do hope she is able to stick to her guns!

Later this summer I shall have all 5 GS's here for a week. the eldest will be 9, two will be 7 and two will be 3. Granny's house and Granny's rules will be in force regardless of what their parents think (ie DS and DiL). I sound like an ogre but my sanity is sacrosanct !

Too right tiggy or else you won't survive!

Luckygirl I can identify with what you say. Our grandchildren usually behave very well when they are with us, but when Mummy is around they tend to be an absolute pain - fighting, jumping around, shouting etc. Mummy is lovely, but she is very laid back and just seems to switch off when all this mayhem is going on.

Agree absolutely, tiggypiro - Granny's house, Granny's rules. However, this is not too difficult to enforce because I look after the grandchildren so much of the time and for the most part my children and their partners all sing from the same hymn sheet as OH and me. I agree totally, though, that it is so exhausting - I am fit for nothing by the time the GCs are back with their parents. I don't feel my children take advantage, but I don't think either that they realise how tiring it is to look after small children at our age. The menopause exists for a good reason!

I am in fear of the next few days, first time our grandson will be staying with us on his own !!!!!

Day 1 of DGC stay is usually ok. Day 2 they begin to fight and meltdown.
It always seems to take a while for us to realise what's happening so Day 2 is usually fraught and at some stage DH always says he's not having them again.
Then I come round and 'Mamma's house, Mamma's rules' comes into action. Thereafter no problems. I come down hard and fast - no prisoners - toy removed (if that's the argument) and separate rooms until they've thought the problem through(!)
If they hate me - tough This is 2 boys aged 12 and 10.

Our 2 year old DGD has begun the testing us out stage, everything has to be as she want it or she waves her arms about in frantic fashion and whines. She's is largely non-verbal although understands EVERYTHING said to her.

Luckily she is disciplined at home in the same way we do here ... removal from the room till she behaves, usually less than half a minute.
So far we've only done it once and the very threat of doing it again is enough to stop her in her tracks!

I wish she would decide to speak, it would make things so much easier for us all.

It is not a problem when parents not around - Grandma rules! - and it is relatively peaceful. It is when their own parents are around and you feel duty bound to play by their rules even when you do not agree with them. Clearly the practical rules about what is allowed and what is not (e.g. jumping on the sofas) hold good; but the methods of discipline and achieving adherence to those rules differ. A firm No from me; but half an hour of reasoning and wheedling seems to be the fashion. Sigh. Yawn even!

tiggypiro, I have a friend with five GS roughly the same age as your five, and she has them all to stay every school holiday (currently three weeks for Easter as they are at private schools with shorter terms). Her two daughters and their husbands call to see them some (not all) evenings, when she more often than not cooks for them all. I have no idea how she does it, but know I couldn't - and she's ten years older than me!

See my post. Older grans babysitting.

I think we all agree that looking after our little treasures is exhausting, tiring, stressful, but also can be very rewarding.

How we handle them is down to each individual, but I have picked up some valuable advice from reading these posts.

I am reassured that others feel the same as I do.
But on the other hand, we don't want to feel we are being taken for granted and used. Thanks all.