Leaving children on their own - did you ever?

My grandson (9) has recently been begging my daughter to let him walk to school with a classmate who lives in their road and his older brother who is 11. It isn't far, but she won't let him off the leash yet. If they meet en route, they'll walk together and she'll keep a discreet distance behind. From the age of 11, my son was travelling virtually unaided between his school in Surrey and my sister's house in Sheffield every half term, and between countries at the end of term. He took it in his stride, like a lot of other boarders. Some years ago, my friend had near neighbours who were both academics who left three children ranging in age from 9 to 16 at home and went off to China for three months. They didn't seem to have any significant adults watching over them; they didn't go hungry, they came to no harm, there were no dramas, but I dread to think what official wrath would have been visited on the parents these days. Like TriciaF I was under the impression that you could legally leave a 14 year old on their own, or to babysit, but it would appear not.

When I was 6 in the late 50s my mother met her sister in London to go shopping, and my 11 year old male cousin took me to the Tower of London for the day, we didn't even know them very well as mum and her sister had not grown up together, but we lived to tell the tale! And when I was 10 my sister lived a few miles away and had a two year old daughter; most Saturday's I would get the bus to hers and collect my niece, bringing her back on the bus to my mum's for lunch - no pushchair just the little one on her reins!
In the early 80s I would leave my baby son asleep and dash to the station to pick up my husband occasionally, but I always knocked on my neighbours door to let her know, and again when I got back safely. And same 'baby' when he was about 10 begged to be left at home when I took his sisters to swimming lessons, so I agreed but with strict rules - he was fine!
All 3 of my kids have grown up able to take care of themselves and have all done babysitting from about 14 to ear pocket money. I think it all depends on the individual young person.

So many similar tales to me and as everyone has said times have changed so much over the years. Back in the 50's at 8 I was left to babysit my cousin's young daughters aged 2 and 1 at their house in Sheffield whilst we were visiting. The toilet was outside and of course the inevitable happened and I got locked out. The neighbour had to come round with a ladder and open an upstairs window to let me back in. As an only child I remember being left in a caravan while my parents went to the pub with friends from the next van leaving their 16 year old son to listen out for me - he didn't and I cried for what seemed like hours before they came back and another night when I was about 10 they left me at home while they went to a dance. I sat next to the fire holding the poker watching Psyco and eating instant mash with tomato sauce It didn't do me any harm. I think the first time I left our sons the eldest was 12 and his brother 9 while we went to a nearby town for a couple of hours and then we went on holiday without them when the eldest was 17. At that time though my parents were only a few doors away and Dad was in and out all the time to walk the dog so I knew they were ok. These days I sometimes think common sense is outweighed by the pressures of being seen to 'do the right thing' so parents are less likely to leave perfectly responsible children on their own. Having said that I don't advocate young children should be left unsupervised at any time.

I was a "latchkey" child from around the age of 7 or 8 in the early 50's- going to school on the bus with my friends and home again. My mother who was a ward sister, popped across the road to our house to light the gas mantle for light and the coal fire for heat and I was on my own until my father came home from work sometime after 5pm. Nowadays my parents would be reported to social services and I would be in care! I loved being on my own and it has helped throughout my life.

i remember traveling on the green line bus from Harlow in Essex to Woodford Green all on my own at about 9 or 10 years old. I would go to stay with my god mother and cousins for weekends or longer during school holidays. I walked from home to the town center bus station waited at the stop got on the bus and always asked the bus driver to stop at the duck pond in Woodford. The thought of a child that age doing that is terrifying but i am still here at 63!!! lol. Also we didn't have a phone so i could not ring home to say i had arrived. My god mother did so i dont know if my mum rang her from a call box to find out if all was well. My mum was not uncaring at all she was lovely but i dont think people worried in those days like they do now.

We never ever left our children on their own under the age of 14, and then not for all that long.
as a child I was left with a sibling not much older than me all day long from the age of 4.It was wrong then and is wrong now.

The main concern about leaving children on their own in the house is that there might be a fire, or some accident might occur which would be difficult for them to deal with.

I too was travelling on buses on my own from a young age - my first school was a walk, a bus ride then another walk away - but I did it on my own. Several roads to cross. No-one thought that was surprising.

I travelled to school, alone on the bus from age 6. I used to play out with friends, often quite far from home a long time before I went to school.

My mother worked as a nurse and my father worked nights, so my younger sister and I were unsupervised three days a week while our Dad was sleeping, though we could wake him if it was an emergency.

What different experiences everyone has, so interesting.
Being the youngest of 4 (with a 16 year gap) I always had older siblings around.
But I do remember taking neighbour's babies or toddlers out in pram or pushchair - I was under 10 years old then. ! The neighbours were always so grateful as well, bit I was on my own.
I'd push the prams around the local streets for an hour or so, stopping to chat to friends. I remember taking a friend's young brother (a toddler) to the park in his pram and putting him on the children's swing.
I was a 'sensible' girl, but my goodness I would be horrified at that happening nowadays.
It seems like a world away when I think of it.

In the mid 60s, we`d go to a neighbours house every other Saturday evening, leaving our then three children in bed, but every half hour we took it in turns to pop back and see that they were alright. We never went out without a baby sitter until the eldest (of 5) was 12 years old, but the first time we did, we were on pins all the time, and went home after an hour! I did send them to the shop around the corner from being 3, and they played out on the street from the age of 18 months, but back then it seemed a lot safer, and there were lots of kids around, ours weren`t on their own.

We left our two DDs, age 8 and 4, on their own in a field, in our caravan, while we went for an evening stroll down the lane.

When we got back they had completely cleaned the biscuit tin out!

I was a latchkey child from the age of around 9 to 12 (there were several of us at my primary school with front door keys on a length of tape round our necks!), and my own DD was from 11 onwards.

I couldn't afford not to work full time as a single mum, those who were able to stay at home and still manage to pay the mortgage or rent were very lucky. We did have kind neighbours and the woman opposite who had a slightly younger daughter were always available if DD needed help, but she was and is very sensible and resourceful.

My two GDs aged 9 are very far from an age when they could be left on their own, which is probably a sign of the times. They go to the after-school club when necessary - of course we didn't have those in my day!

I was once tempted to leave the baby sleeping in order to pop to the corner shop two minutes away. I asked a friend if she would do this and she said no, because you could have an accident whilst out, so I never did.

I used to walk to school from the age of 5 with my brother and sister aged 7 and 9 and no one thought that a problem. I also used to put my 2 eldest children from the age of 8 and 10 on the train at Kings Cross to be met by my parents at Leeds, I asked the guard to keep an eye on them.

And we used to go out on our bikes for the whole day ( or seems like it) to the park, the allotments, the bomb sites etc. My children played outside with the neighbourhood kids and I can remember having to go outside with a torch to find my daughter in the dark who was on her roller skates.

We played out all the time from about 5, there being quite a few children of the same age in the street. Mothers didn't work, as a rule. I would go to the local shop for cigarettes for my mother at about the same age. We all used to hang around in a loose gang, and play in the river or roam the hillsides. I can't remember ever being taken to school.

DD didn't go to school alone/with friends until she was 10 (15 minute walk; urban area). She would go to the local park with one of her more adventurous friends from the age of about 8. Generally, though, kids weren't allowed to play out/ go anywhere independently until they were around 11, or even older.

We have a massive park on our doorstep and you very rarely see kids there on their own.

As others have said, it was all very different when we had our children, let alone when we were young ourselves. I remember reading a biography - may have been Fanny Craddock - who as a young single parent left her toddler locked in their rented room while she went to work.

No-one would recommend that, but if you never let children take responsibility for looking after themselves they will never learn to do it. And missdeke makes a valid point - if they are old enough to get married at 16, it must be a nonsense to say they can't be left on their own well before that.

I always thought you couldn't (legally) leave children under 12 with anyone less than 16 years of age. Does anyone else remember this? Or have I somehow made it up...?

I had a kjey to the house from age seven. I remember leaving it in the teachers drawer for PE and forgetting to take it home. preumably my mum was in or I did my trick of wandering off to friend's houses.

if my children are behaving well, I will leave them in the hall or foyer while I go down to the bin two flights down. I can hear them. they are 7 and 9. I would not yet go down to the garage, which is down two flights and across a forecourt. they stay in the car while I pay for petrol but I can see them.

Fanny Craddock sounds like Mother of the year ! It doesn`t sound right to me to leave a toddler locked in a room while I go out !

Willow I remember watching Psycho at the cinema with a friend when I was about 18. When we got off the bus she went one way home and I had to go the other - I ran all the way home only to find mum and dad were out. I then ran to my aunt's house because I was still scared! DP were there, having a jolly evening and thought it was very funny.

Actually, I just looked up when Psycho came out - so I must have been younger

f77ms, this was before or during the war - I suppose a single parent then didn't have much choice!

Lol Jalima - I'm originally from up north - I must harder I didn't add that the fire I was sitting at the side of was a coal one and I was sat on the hearth! The more I think about it there were other instances of how different things used to be. When I was 12 I got a job looking after a 2 year old on a Saturday as her mum ran a guest house and Saturday was changeover day. I used to take her to dancing class then for a drink in the local cafe. The following year I was working for her actually cleaning the bedroom sinks and waiting on the tables. Worked ever since! All stood me in good stead I'm sure.

I remember I used to babysit from the age of 13 for our neighbours but my mom was only over the road if I needed her. My children also started babysitting for our neighbours from the age of 13 but new I was near by if the needed help. I think children grow up far to fast these days.