In the 9th month of retirement ...

GranJan absolutely get the "retirement by default" thing. I was confident that I'd get another job in my new location but I hadn't factored in the older and too experienced element or the dearth of opportunities in the north by comparison to London. So it felt like I fizzled out rather than properly finished my working life. And much as I love my new life now, I'm not sure I'll ever completely lose the sense of regret that unsatisfactory ending left me with. There, I've said it now! Yes Wilma I think you're right about the men/women thing! My old boy just settled into his new life with relish and really didn't get what I was on about, bless him!

Funny how so many of us finish working full time unexpectedly and don't have the ending to our careers we imagined. Sad really, but eventually we settle down again. I'm sure life used to be more simple!

When I retired I had all these plans - bake bread daily, learn to cook with a pressure cooker, paint, sew, volunteer in the local Oxfam bookshop....
in fact, I did a voluntary cataloging job on a short term project for half a day a week last year, but that has now come to an end. As for the other plans, I have used my new breadmaker precisely once and got rather upset that it tasted exactly like an average fresh baked shop loaf! And the pressure cooker is still in its box . A few buttons have been sewn on and that's about it, while any painting courses have been ignored.
I was sitting on the sofa last week with my iPad, while Hubbie was on the laptop across the hall in the office, and I commented to him, how much we had both dreaded full-time retirement but how very well we have settled in to it and feel we have no need to look for extra work now. We look after the GCs a couple of days a week, and OH is involved in his local community and Yoga, while I have my choir and concerts. Life is relaxed but there always seems to be too much to do or think about - doing up the house, sorting out our son's wedding, visiting our youngest in Manchester or my Mum and our flat in Dorset.
Retirement is great, how did we ever have the energy for full-time work?!

Your post was like a breath of fresh air to me wildrose!

The main thing is, you sound content, and contentment and lack of stress and pressure is priceless. Like you, I feel slightly guilty that I am wasting my days in retirement. Some days I do very little but read, do puzzles, catch up on TV programmes, mooch in the supermarket, potter in the garden and decide I can't be bothered to cook an evening meal, so have toast instead!

It's lovely being my own boss, and you should relish that too. I think if you've had a work ethic and always been very busy, committed and reliable, switching off from that is hard to do - hence the guilt that life isn't busier or more productive. I made a conscious decision to take my foot off the peddle in retirement. Like you, I retired on health grounds and had to get by on a much smaller income.

I have friends who have timetables on their kitchen wall because they have 'activities' to go to every single day of the week. One of my friends, recently retired, has even planned her husband's days. He has to go to bowling, whether he wants to or not. He hasn't showed an interest in bowls in all the years I've known him! She goes to pilates one day, has to shop on certain days, do the housework on certain days, goes to the garden centre for coffee on a Wednesday, goes into town on a Thursday....you get the picture. Even weekends have an agenda and she gets up early and is out of the house before 9am most days. (Oh the joy of a leisurely breakfast/morning I say!) I don't understand why her life has to be so regimented, but accept that we are all different.

In retirement I find it hard to motivate myself and tend to be a spur of the moment person. If something takes my fancy I'll make an effort to go, but should it be something that requires regular commitment I tend to shy away from it. Strangely, I have applied to sit on all sorts of committees, which have involved me sending in a CV and having to be interviewed to check my suitability for the post. They are non-remunerated, voluntary positions yet I get a buzz from being involved and from others needing my input. My friends think I am weird, so I suppose 'horses for courses' applies in retirement.

Do your own thing. One of my favourite bits of poetry is "What is life if full of care, we have no time to stand and stare." Retirement is hard to get used to, but I recommend standing and staring sometimes. Life doesn't have to be busy any more. Doing nothing can be extremely rewarding!

Ooops. Pedal, not peddle.