Is this it?

Is this a wind up, feeing 'old' at 56! In my 56th year we spent a year on the French canals, not easy on an 80 ft boat. After that bought two properties in 2 different countries to renovate. Moved back to uk, renovated another property, bought a Motohome and travelled all over Europe.

Minnie I suspect we all reach a point sometime in our 50 + years when we cannot help but be aware that there is no turning back the clock. A couple of years ago I went through a phase of feeling very unhappy with my personal appearance and I think , for me, it had to do with facing up to the ageing process and mourning a time when I know I was more attractive. But I now remind myself, pretty frequently, that I should value how I am here and now as the reality is that in ten years time I will think I looked relatively good now!!!!! In all seriousness, I did have to come to terms with 'something' - not quite sure what, but I was unsettled for a time. It doesn't help us when we are surrounded by a lot of loveliness .

Speaking as someone of 57, it is a bit of an odd stage of life, feel about 30, but wandering round M&S the other day, wondered what on earth my mother was doing in there until I realised it was me reflected in a mirror

minnie I'm 56 and feel your pain. I know I'm a self-pitying old misery, though. Sometimes I feel as if I could take on the world; other days I could stay in bed with the kindle (and let's face it, that's about as exciting as it gets in the bedroom now).

I try so hard, I really do. I've always got glad rags on and a full face of slap, but all I'm faced with in the mirror these days is a jelly-bellied, sagging shadow of myself. I dread dark mornings because I can't bear to look at myself in artificial light-it's horrible.

I've been dumped after 30 years and I just can't bear the thought of - um - how's your father. I'd have to wear a burka to be presentable.

On the other hand, I'm in good health bar the odd ache and pain, I've got some nice friends, a fabulous hobby and some capital. It's not all bad. I'm hoping to get some decent work too, to give me that long-lost sense of achievement back.

So here's to us notsogoldenoldies.

There was a moment, in my early fifties, when I gradually became aware that I was no longer attracting male attention when I was out. Don't get me wrong, I'm happily married and I wasn't flirting or looking for attention..... but when it dawns on you that you've reached the age of invisibility, it is a bit of shock .
I found myself thinking, Oh, so really it wouldn't matter if I didn't bother putting make-up on, or doing my hair, or dressing nicely, cos no-one sees me anyway . But I soon got over that one!
It is a kind of transitional period. The thing to keep telling yourself is that you will never again be as young as you are now, so live life as fully as you can now

phoenix my mother was out shopping too, in Debenhams, even though she'd been dead 10 years.

A dozen DGC at 56 - Wow that is some achievement!!
I didn't have any until I was 63.

I think the only thing is that you realise there is still so much to do, so many places you'd like to visit - I visited places last year that I never thought I would ever go to.

At 56 you're a spring chicken. In 20 years time you'll look and feel a lot older. I've aged in spurts, it's not a steady decline, but I have only half the strength and stamina which I had at 56. The little grandchildren exhaust me now. Sad but true, we get older!

One of the things I like about being older is slipping seamlessly in and out of "batty old woman" mode.

And being able to flirt shamelessly with (younger) men without any comeback.

Today my DD noticed I had been looking at, and bought a couple of pieces of, 'motto ware' on ebay. (Heard about it on a GN thread) She laughed, hugged me, and said, "You always buy such random crap!"

So you see, there is always something to look forward to! I love my Devon ware butter dish that say 'Help yerselves tu butter'. And the jug that says, 'Straight is the line of duty, Curved is the line of beauty, Follow the first and you will see, the second always following thee.

Good eh?

I'm 61 and I have quite a few health problems going on, don't we all? I'd feel better if I didn't have so much wrong with me. Is it just me or does everyone have bad luck with their health?

I had to have a hysterectomy two years ago for ovarian cancer. I'm clear now but I have the dread of it coming back hanging over me. I have a prolapse which causes urinary and bowel problems. I take Laxido every day for constipation.

I have aches and pains, which the doctor thinks is due to very low oestrogen. I can't take any hormones as my type of tumour is oestrogen receptive and I have a 30% chance of recurrence.

I'm seeing the physio for tendonitis.

I have severe acid reflux, although that's under control at present.

I have gallstones.

I have a fatty liver.

Anyway, onwards and forwards.

I've never heard of 'Motto ware', sounds intriguing jingl, and very perceptive too!

When I was 56, I didn't have time to think about 'getting on'. I had a satisfying job, jad many political involvements, and did a three-year OU course. Occasionally I crossed paths with my DSs when they came home from their globe-trotting. I wish life was as full now that I'm 75, though I might just crumble! So my message to the OP is to find things to do - aren't you working? Things that will take you away from that image in the mirror. I wish I looked like my mother; it's my granny that looks out of the mirror!

Forgot to add that I was also very involved with GD and her half brother!

anno!

My philosophy is instead of asking 'is this it', try turning it round - yes, this is IT! The great adventure, your one life. Grasp it and try to find a little joy in every day. Easier said than done at times I know, but life is so short...

I think that it is in your late 50s that you start to realise how fast each day flies by. If you are well just be thankful and make every day count because you might have years to do all sorts of wonderful things and equally you may have no time at all. Thankfully we do not know so live well and count your blessings!
In my mirror I don't 'see' my mother or any other members of my family because I have outlived them all. That gives me both a freedom and a sense of achievement and I intend to use that well.

I still thought I was quite young when I was 56, and looking back on it, I was!

And being able to flirt shamelessly with (younger) men without any comeback
Yes, that is a definite bonus, they are very wary when you are in your fifties but like to be kind to a daft old bat of 70+

I don't have any motto ware, but I do like my A Round Tuit plate, it suits my lifestyle now I am retired.

That could be my new hobby - collecting Motto ware jinglbellsfrocks

I probably sent it all to the charity shop when I left Devon

I'm only 51 and have health problems, as many of you are probably sick of hearing, so age really doesn't come into it. I have often thought on yet another day when I can't get out "Is this it?" But, I have to look at the bigger picture. Yes, I am disabled, yes I have problems but I can and will still start to turn things around a bit. I have to get out, I have to make new friends (I am trying), I have to try to help more people yet, I have to make love again, I have to laugh with someone. (Probably while making love ).

I don't wear make up, what you see is what you get, warts and all. But I do hope that I can fall in love again, and for the next few years to be a new chapter in my life. We are supposed to go on a 7 year cycle so 56 fits in.

If I were you Minnie58 then I would look around for classes, go dancing, do art, basket weaving, anything where you meet others, and not just your age, look for all ages. Try not to wrap yourself up totally in your family, have some you time, go for a massage, to the pictures, theatre. If you live near me, I'll go with you . X

I was one of those who kinda thought life goes on forever!
It dawned on me a couple of years ago that it doesnt. Which sounds like the position Minnie58 is at.
Perhaps that doesnt happen to everyone, but it does happen to some. And it does make you stop in your tracks and think. I havent got all the answers to it yet, but I do know to be glad about what we do have.
Also I still think I may see 100! So I havent learnt much!

Is putting weight on "natural" in the 50s. I dont know. My weight "rearranges".

Hello Minnie. At 56 I had a full time job nursing the elderly with dementia. I had a son still at home and a DD who was well on her way to giving me four beautiful GC. I'm 64 now. I'm little, rounder than I should be, and it is my Granny who looks back at me from the mirror. I honestly don't mind at all. I never wear make up as I'm allergic to much of it. Life is what you make it! Get out a bit and enjoy yourself.

I have already posted but lying in my sick bed I have been thinking what has happened to me and mine since I was 56.
Both C married, both C separated!!
6GC lots of travelling, all over now though.
Surviving breast cancer. Losing lots of family and friends. My mother living to 101, and my H being diagnosed with Alzheimer's.
A very mixed bag of fortune but all experience I have
learned from. Embrace it all we can't pick and choose.
Reading that back how awful it sounds and actually it hasn't been like that at all.