Situation vacant. URGENT!

shrunk

Actually, it's very good. And all very true.

I love the smell of a natural tree but the pine needles stay around for ages!

No takers yet elaineg??!! I am surprised I suspect that those who have the best CVs are already employed in the above-mentioned duties

Sorry, I only have experience with pretend trees.

❤ your posts elaine

I would be very good at this job. Especially the bit where cards for Boots are still around in May. Yep, every year. And the ones to be kept, which usually get sort of poked in places like the bottom of the wardrobe, or one of the top boxes in the spare room, or an underbed drawer. Don't have one single place for these special things, so they just get forgotten, until I come across them, serendipitously, when looking for something else.
Can you please let me know what the rate of pay is?

If you find a house elf who can fulfil the job description, please share said elf's details as I suspect many of us could find him a day's employment on 6 Jan 2016

Everybody knows there is a staffing crisis in the National Elf Service

Are there opportunities for promotion?

There are 364 days holiday entitlement (unpaid)

You're forgetting the weekly vacuuming of breeding pine needles until March, Elegran

Ah yes, subsidiary work. That could be spun out until next November.

Will also need to come back a week later to retrieve the various decorative items that were missed on 6th January. These also need to be crammed carefully stowed in the shrunken boxes, which you had already diligently put away in the loft. You could just throw the forgotten angels away, but they will be the ones your beloved gran gave you without which Christmas isn't Christmas.

I'd love to apply, elaineg. Anything to get me away from the hell that is moving house and getting cleared up so DD can move into our old house next door.

Struggling isn't the word. I have very little energy left and everyone is soooooooo impatient.

The Waltons it isn't

Regret that after years of training and work experience (now known as internships I believe) I am still unable to fulfil the remit. Consistently find dead tree still has small number of decorations when it reaches the outside area. A few decorations will remain under pieces of furniture and hidden in corners for almost 12 months and I am unable to guarantee the removal of all pine needles within the time frame(some from previous year will be found next Christmas). Perhaps after another 10 years training?

I am very good at this job, and fairly speedy. The problem is, that I cannot be released from my current position of Chief of Staff (Christmas) at this establishment.

My DH has just been rummaging through the gift bags we are taking to Scotland at the weekend, and has discovered no less than nine Christmas cards, unopened and not missed! The awful thing is, they are all from his family!

I don't want the job"......but will get it anyway

DIY Central here, mission accomplished, ? next with bubbles and a book!

Good luck merlot with the move, my sympathies are with you, it is a stressful task, I'm still needing paint on a couple of walls. Let us know how it all goes.

With regard to the vacancy, I can do it if I can sleep inbetween tasks, take copious amount of cups of tea, put my feet up (to prevent swelling) and have medications on hand. Hence my tree this year is 18" high with battery lights and tiny craft glitter pom poms. Along with some window stickers, that was the sum of my decorations! I will put the tree, as it is, in my suitcase for next year and then I won't have the very hard laborious task of decorating it again!

If Christmas Decs don't take about five hours to put away then you aint doing it right! I do wonder why it is always the woman in the house who does this job, are men not to be trusted with it?Hmmmn, probably not!

Perhaps if we all had a "get down the decorations buddy" we would find it far more interesting to do someone else's rather than our own.

Chez moi there are always some tree ornament hangers left behind on the floor or in a corner whe you have returned all the other stuff to the loft.

I don't want the job either so please refer any surplus applicants my way!

Love this post Elaineg, it's all so true, or it was till DH took over. Now it's all done by January second. I'm so grateful not to be doing it that all I ask is that cards with letters in are kept until I've answered them (and I get reminded to answer them daily)! Good luck with the move Merlot.
I'm busy moving things because, in a moment of madness we decided to decorate after New Year and it has to be done, if only to get rid of the stripes if different coloured paint we put on the wall to help us choose a colour.

Our pretend tree sheds as many needles as a real tree but apart from not having a real tree I have experience in all of the above. Unfortunately I am unable to apply as will have little time due to new year resolutions requiring attention - what hasn't happened by the end of January won't.