Situation vacant. URGENT!

I'd love to apply as I've 45 years experience in both real and fake trees, am very good at sorting all the baubles into colours, glass and plastic and putting all the hangings into one place. I can pack the glass ones in tissue and box accordingly and sort cards into neat piles and hoover all the mess up afterwards. Unfortunately I can only do this whilst asleep - is that permissible for this vacancy? If not I'll stick to my real world job Happy New Year!

Boasting alert

Kate and the Great Gary will take mine down tomorrow

Elaine, thank you for a really great post - just so sorry I can't apply due to very similar job starting on the 3rd or 4th. A Very Happy New Year to all GNetters, your posts make me laugh (tho of course not the sad ones). I hope that if 2015 has been a bad year for you, 2016 will be a whole lot better. x

You've got to be jesting! Happy New Year!!

rosequartz not a problem- have you got a stairlift? If not it will be downstairs only. I will probably need 3 months rest if I do the original house. I also have a habit of starting things around 10pm- being a night bird.

Tara does not like disruption- she would be happier staying here.

As already stated, I no longer have references or CV. My driving licence will have to do.

Never mind, Charleygirl, I'm sure you'll be kept busy by all the other GNetters queueing up for your services!

Elaineg

Thank you for all your applications! ;-) I have a short list of one. I've known her all my life, the only thing is she has none of the qualities I require. So arms will be pricked, pine needles will rule til Easter and the "special " cards will gather dust. Ah well it was worth a try! Happy New Year all, and good luck on the 6th, we're going to need it. :-)

anno I have applied for the job, I do not expect any competition!
Charleygirl when you have finished there, can you pop over to my house please and do mine

Tara is welcome to come and stay

Thank you for the original post I laughed out loud ?

I do enjoy taking the decorations down again and packing them away then giving the whole room a good dust and polish but this year we will be decorating as soon as the tree comes down on Sunday the 3rd,so my little helper will be busy elsewhere and not available for renting out at the moment sorry ladies.xx

anno I have applied for the job, I do not expect any competition!

Sorry, not applying. I had to move to get away from the pine needles that seemed to proliferate in my carpets, so would probably have a breakdown if I had to hoover yours up.

Our fake tree has been shedding this year too, almost makes it feel like a real one!

Sorry, but my list of NY resolutions is now running into three pages .....

I almost didn't bother to put anything up this year. left it to the last minute. Out came the big box. there were two boxes, but in the summer we gave one box of decorations to the grandchildren in Scotland!
I always saved the best cards.. but this year I defragged and threw them all out. I am not putting them up next year. Ive promised myself that.
happy new year to one and all.

I am very good at cleaning other people's houses but not so hot with my own so I have a cleaner. I could clean all of the pine needles away but I doubt if you could afford me. Apart from the money, I would need copious cups of coffee and numerous rests. I cannot climb on anything unless you have an ambulance waiting outside the front door.

I tore up my CV when I decided that I was no longer going to do any more work. Have you had any takers yet? As I thought, none.

This post reminds me of, decades ago, when as a ward sister, staff volunteered to help to decorate the ward but when it came to taking them down! Nostalgia though, any retired nurses remember when the surgeon used to carve the Turkey and all patients had a Chistmas stocking?

Can't do it this year as have just found a dessert dish from little used 'best' dinner service that needs sorting. It has all those useful innards of crackers accumulated over about 15 years - only really useful ones are the tiny packs of screwdrivers that always come in useful for watches, glasses, sewing machines etc. Anyone got a use for mini spinning tops and naff keykings? (Dogs don't respond to any of the whistles).

Can i offer my DH? He is the one who does decorations and taking down every year - mostly because I refuse to do it; i'm up to my ears in turkey and sausage meat, so why should I??? Perhaps not, he can be very grumpy!

Our pretend tree sheds as many needles as a real tree but apart from not having a real tree I have experience in all of the above. Unfortunately I am unable to apply as will have little time due to new year resolutions requiring attention - what hasn't happened by the end of January won't.

Love this post Elaineg, it's all so true, or it was till DH took over. Now it's all done by January second. I'm so grateful not to be doing it that all I ask is that cards with letters in are kept until I've answered them (and I get reminded to answer them daily)! Good luck with the move Merlot.
I'm busy moving things because, in a moment of madness we decided to decorate after New Year and it has to be done, if only to get rid of the stripes if different coloured paint we put on the wall to help us choose a colour.

I don't want the job either so please refer any surplus applicants my way!

Perhaps if we all had a "get down the decorations buddy" we would find it far more interesting to do someone else's rather than our own.

Chez moi there are always some tree ornament hangers left behind on the floor or in a corner whe you have returned all the other stuff to the loft.

If Christmas Decs don't take about five hours to put away then you aint doing it right! I do wonder why it is always the woman in the house who does this job, are men not to be trusted with it?Hmmmn, probably not!

Good luck merlot with the move, my sympathies are with you, it is a stressful task, I'm still needing paint on a couple of walls. Let us know how it all goes.

With regard to the vacancy, I can do it if I can sleep inbetween tasks, take copious amount of cups of tea, put my feet up (to prevent swelling) and have medications on hand. Hence my tree this year is 18" high with battery lights and tiny craft glitter pom poms. Along with some window stickers, that was the sum of my decorations! I will put the tree, as it is, in my suitcase for next year and then I won't have the very hard laborious task of decorating it again!