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What are we giving my sister?

(37 Posts)
Alea Wed 23-Dec-15 07:54:15

Is it a truth universally acknowledged that a man, once he marries, need never write another greetings card, choose, buy or wrap a present for the rest of his life?

The question in my thread title speaks for itself (I kept calm and reminded him we were doing Secret Santa and yes, I had bought his contribution) but as a DHism it ranks along with "Do I have any socks/pants/shirts?"

Please tell me I am not alone?

cornergran Wed 23-Dec-15 08:04:21

Not alone Alea. I don't recall DH choosing and buying a gift for anyone - other than me - since we married 47 years ago. Or indeed wrapping one. He now writes 3 Christmas cards for his distant family as I refuse to do those but never a birthday card. It bugs me sometimes but in fairness there are loads of positives - like the ironing - which I try to remember. Often I don't mind but just sometimes it infuriates. What would he do if left on his own? No idea!

Pittcity Wed 23-Dec-15 08:19:34

It's the same here.
He does ring his sister to see what she and MIL would like, when I ask him to do so. He does then come with me to the shop where I know said items can be bought and will choose if there is a choice. I then wrap and write and he arranges a visit to deliver. I hand him said gifts on the doorstep and he gets the thanks.
His friends and colleagues never get cards or gifts on any occasion from him.
I even have to buy my present from him, which I give to him with paper, tag, scissors and sellotape!
I often ask him what would happen if he didn't have me and he replies that he would call our daughters tchhmm

PRINTMISS Wed 23-Dec-15 08:30:13

Mine's the same, they won't change, so I don't bother any more. He would not know if a friend had not sent a card, or we had not sent a card to a friend, but I care about these things, so it is really my choice. He sometimes voices an opinion on a gift, but would not dream of actually going to the shops to buy it.

mumofmadboys Wed 23-Dec-15 08:35:54

Mine is the same but since he's retired he's decided he likes ironing and does it all!!

ninathenana Wed 23-Dec-15 08:53:44

He never writes cards the excuse being his spelling and handwriting are rubbish, it's true tchsmile
He does buy and wrap my present but I have to give him a wish list to choose from. The rest is all down to me.

Teetime Wed 23-Dec-15 09:10:27

You are not alone. DH does write his own Xmas cards now after a bit of badgering but he wouldn't buy anyone anything - he says they have all got enough and so have we. He'd like us all juts to have a nice meal together - that I have cooked of course! smile

Largolass Wed 23-Dec-15 09:12:06

Mine sits beside me at the dining room table and after he adds his name to a card pops it in its envelope affixes the printed label and the stamp.

ginny Wed 23-Dec-15 09:12:48

Yes, just the same here.

I am now waiting for the usual Christmas eve question " Have we got any wrapping paper ?" He will be wrapping my gift but I doubt he will have actually gone out and bought it himself. He will have recruited one or all of our three DDs to do that.

Stansgran Wed 23-Dec-15 09:55:16

I bought myself a handbag for dh to give me with his agreement and handed it to him to wrap. He has lost it. I know all his hiding places. tchgrin
I do the cards. He posts them.

Gaggi3 Wed 23-Dec-15 10:50:01

A friend entrusted DH with posting cards and getting a prescription filled. Yes, you've guessed it!

Gaggi3 Wed 23-Dec-15 10:50:40

A friend entrusted DH with posting cards and getting a prescription filled. Yes, you've guessed it!

Seasidenana Wed 23-Dec-15 10:57:51

This only happens because women behave in this way and the men get used to it. I did it for 30 years, because I saw my mum doing it. To be fair my ex also expected it as his mum did it too. It's only since divorce and new experiences I have realised this is not the way it has to be. In fact some men hate it and see it as controlling.

gillyknits Wed 23-Dec-15 11:06:08

My DH was just the same until he retired. I persuaded him to make computer address labels for the Christmas cards (because he likes using his computer skills) and got him to wrap all the presents (because he is so much better at wrapping parcels than me). It worked a treat.

Luckygirl Wed 23-Dec-15 11:07:32

I always smile when family thank my OH profusely for a gift, when he does not have the faintest clue what "we" have given them!

inishowen Wed 23-Dec-15 12:07:50

When our children were small, DH took no interest in what I got them until Christmas Eve when I was setting out all their presents. Woe betide if he didn't think it was a good pile! Times have changed, he's mellowed.

mrshat Wed 23-Dec-15 12:28:45

No, just the same. He even enlists my daughters to buy his presents to me on Birthday and Christmas!!

ninathenana Wed 23-Dec-15 13:09:16

The first Christmas after we met in the August I was delighted to receive a leather jewellery box from him and was touched that he'd bought such an appropriate and thoughtful gift.
When it came to my birthday in January I was full of expectation that was when he confessed to giving his sister the money to go and choose my Christmas gift tchgrin

tanith Wed 23-Dec-15 13:58:43

Same here with same excuses that his handwriting is rubbish and that 'you know all their addresses', yes! because I bother to update and keep the address cards in order. Only 10 mins ago he said I'm going upstairs to wrap your presents eerrrrr! Do we have any paper and sticky stuff? Says he then after 5 mins wrapping its ' where are the scissors' and 'could you make a toasted sandwich, if I stop I'll never get done'. MEN!!! They really are all the same.

grumppa Wed 23-Dec-15 14:38:47

I am starting to feel positively saintly. I always write the cards for my family and friends, and always buy special wrapping paper for my presents for Mrs. Grumppa, which I wrap all by myself.

tanith Wed 23-Dec-15 14:52:33

You are an exception grumppa tchwink

KatyK Wed 23-Dec-15 15:31:50

Mine is the same. I decide upon, buy and wrap all the presents. I sort all the money out too. He said to me this week when we were meeting someone he knows (and I have never met) for a lunch - 'Have we got a spare card?' I said we had and gave it to him. He said 'Could you write it?' I always ask him what he would like for Christmas and he usually tells me one main thing and then I get a few other bits and bobs which he usually likes. He buys me one main present, which I choose and he hasn't a clue what else to get so | end up buying a few little things and giving them to him to wrap. The last couple of years he has bought his own wrapping paper though, so things are on the up tchsmile If I pop my clogs before him the family will get nothing and no cards will be sent.

ninathenana Wed 23-Dec-15 16:42:30

Your last sentence made me tchsmile KatyK as that's so true of DH too and like you I handle all the finances too so it has it's worrying side.
I think it's time to sit him down and go through it all in the New Year.

grannyjack Wed 23-Dec-15 16:42:36

Grandpajack is not very fit at the moment & can't do much but I suggested that it would not strain him to do the cards this year - and it is lovely to cross that task off. He does buy special wrapping paper for my present though - for one minute I thought I must be married to grumppa!

My previous husband once asked me, as we drove off the ferry in France, if I had packed his razor! I'm second hand Rose as both of my husbands were married before they were fortunate enough to wed me. I had hoped that they were fully 'trained' but sadly not.

hulahoop Wed 23-Dec-15 16:43:37

Same here Katy's they will all get money he is generous that way so don't think they will complain I have just finished wrapping b---reed now does anyone else find it hard going ?