Do you think you're still 'attractive'?

When I say my hairdresser was full of admiration for PP I wasn't being sarcastic, he really did think she looked wonderful!!

And looked at me in disbelief when I said she was the same age as me

Luckylegs9 I am sure he would have loved you just the way you are

I like to think that I am still attractive & I do make an effort with my appearance but have to say that since I've been a widow, I might as well be invisible. I do miss the compliments I used to get from DH.

Well, it depends: some days I feel quite upbeat and therefore attractive, other days ... not so much. But most of the time I have other stuff on my mind, which is a very good thing.

I still scrub up well, but nowadays I'm too busy digging around in the earth to be concerned! Freedom!

Well it's an interesting question because having the word 'still' there implies that you used to think you were attractive. There is a difference between being beautiful and being attractive. I think attractive implies interesting to and interested in others. Some beautiful people are not attractive and vice versa. So yes I do think I am still attractive, more than I used to be because I'm more interested in others now and not wrapped up in myself. I saw a very attractive woman at St Pancras recently. She was probably well over 80 and had taken time with her appearance but what made her attractive was her warmth to others and her interest in them.

People seem to like me, is that being attractive? If so, I am more attractive than I was when I was younger because I didn't have the confidence to be me for a long time!

I've never, ever, felt attractive, although people have said I was. My late mum was critical of me and was often saying I should lose weight (I'm a size 16). I gave up trying to please her. My husband loves me and says I'm still beautiful but I think he says that to make me feel better. But as long as he and my family love me, that's enough for me.

I do get very cross with the trend of the internet eg 'Celebs who have aged dreadfully' or 'celebs who shouldn't wear bikinis'. They are most unfairly expected to still look as they did at 25.

I do look better at night when I have taken off my bra....the weight of my boobs pulls the creases out of my neck and face,I just tuck them in my pajama bottoms

Having been considered very attractive for most of my life I can honestly say that, although like letticehooyah, I can still pass pretty well when I make the effort, I make that effort less and less because I quite enjoy being "invisible" these days.
It makes a change from being constantly stared at by some totally unsuitable who thinks he's God's gift .... freedom :-))))

downtoearth

My mother's efforts at keeping my feet on the ground included "no-one will stop a galloping horse to look at you, my girl". Looking back I think I was quite pretty in my teens, I have been married and widowed twice so at least two people thought I was attractive, but now at 78 I couldn't care less what anyone thinks. I am too busy enjoying my "me" time!!

I see myself as much younger and more attractive than I am and can't believe when I look in the mirror that this much older person looks back at me!

Well, I am horrified at how many of you had mothers who told you you were not attractive. Personally, I have always told my children how lovely they are, even when they have been going through the gawky, acne stages. To me they have always been beautiful because they are lovely natured.

Lona your are still gorgeous - definitely a glamorous granny and a lovely person which shines through in your eyes

As for myself, I remember visiting my maiden great-aunt as a child. Some years later we were passing through the town where she lived so called in to see her. She took one look at me and said "Oh! You've improved. You were a very plain child"

My beloved DH thought I was gorgeous, bless him. I don't care if anyone else thinks I'm attractive, but I hope they think I'm a nice person.

My mum's comments certainly didn't bolster my self esteem, but as others have said it was not uncommon for a parent of her era to speak like that even to a much wanted child (as I was). It just would not have occurred to her to do it any differently or see it as less than helpful! I don't think any of my crew are in any doubt about how lovely I think they are, how proud I am of the great adults they have become and the beautiful children they have glows with pride

Certainly not without a bit of makeup. Look dead without mascara. A lot of people say I don't look my age, I don't feel it but no getting away from it. I am 70 but not for much longer add another one in December. Better than the alternative though and i am fortunate to be in very good health.

I look my age because this is what I look like at the age I am. If someone thinks I look younger or older, that relates to the someone's preconception of how I should look at my age. As for attractive, like most people I had some pleasant physical features and some less prepossessing. The pleasant features, such as the "maternal family skin", remain but have aged with me; the less prepossessing remain too, but with age comes wisdom and some smart camouflage or a simple CBA.

No doubt physical attractiveness is a feature of youthful mating rituals but people are also attracted by character traits, such as kindness and generosity. (I am not necessarily speaking about myself there.) Whatever qualities I had that attracted boyfriends, lovers and husbands have been honed over the years and are now combined with the aforementioned wisdom.

Also, not working at or caring about being "attractive" - at any age - often turns out to be a powerful lure.

No I don't think I'm attractive in the beautiful looks department I do think I'm a nice person, something others have said as well in the past. My daughters and grandchildren love me unreservedly and that's all that matters and is good enough for me! Although my 6 year old granddaughter made me laugh recently I was listening to her conversation with her little friend and she she said " Daddy took me to see my other Granny yesterday and she's even older than her" ( pointing at me) thank goodness she realised it I say DD MIL is 30 years older than me!

My granddaughter's comparison wasn't quite so flattering. Seeing my wedding photo she asked who the people were. I told her it was me and grandpa. Oh she said " you were much more prettier then, before you had old lady grey hair"! I said I didn't mind my "old lady grey hair" and didn't want to change it like her grandma ( who is slightly older than me) does. The look she gave me clearly said I would get on to that if I were you! Not planning on taking her advice, I'm happy as I am!

I was attractive (so everyone told me!) however age has certainly detracted from the looks and I find it hard.

bella thank you for those kind words
I've never put my children down and my mum was always encouraging to me in every way. I can't understand these unkind parents at all.

I've never had any attention from any member of the opposite sex, so I can't say I was ever attractive, so things can only get better...lol

Was widowed quite a few years ago and in this sad new life didn't care about my appearance. I don't mean I particularly let myself go but I just didn't think about it very much, was indifferent. Recently however an old friend, a widower, has started taking a particular interest in me and has even told me I'm beautiful! (He's no longer young either so the eyesight issue may be a feature here too). So I've started buying new clothes and taking a bit more care and suddenly other people have said I'm looking good, though I haven't made any dramatic changes. I don't in all honesty think I'm particularly attractive but I do know there's a bit more of a spring in my step nowadays !

You are all so positive! I know I look "okay" but I'm very short and the post menopause weight has gone straight to my face and tummy. I spend a little too much time looking at photos from my forties when I was at my best. Consequence of living alone perhaps.

grannyqueenie your GD made me smile - I can just imagine the look she gave you.