Do you think you're still 'attractive'?

Once in a blue moon the mirror surprises me in a nice way. Most of the time I wonder what my mother is doing staring back at me!!! Shiver....

I was the brains not the beauty in my family, weight issues etc.

I recently saw myself on a video made for work - not of me deliberately, of an event I was at - and was shocked to see that I actually looked quite nice. Slimmer than in my own head, hair looked good. Objectively I looked better than I think I look when I look in a mirror. Weird.

Number please - were you a telephonist once

I still have a friendly smile, I think, and that helps a lot, but you can't expect sizzling sex appeal at 72!

Yes Brunswick, I was, I worked at the Rochdale telephone exchange from 1959 till 1963.

Yes Brunswick, I was, I worked at the Rochdale telephone exchange from 1959 till 1963.

I had one of "those" mothers too-the sort who are determined to keep their kids grounded by being, frankly, quite rude about their good points. My mother was obsessed with my peers' looks and critical of mine. She'd say things like: "you're quite attractive, but so-and-so is pretty". I took it for granted that looks were the be-all-and-end-all and grew up very uncomfortable in my skin (still am)!. Sunday nights were spent having my blackheads squeezed, and she used to make fun of my "dirty-looking" skin to her friends. I remember one night when I was in a rather greasy stage that "I could be quite pretty if I tried"! I was 12! I had no idea how to be pretty.

As a result (I think) of her criticism I've been glamorous in a try-too-hard kind of way all my life. I've never had any confidence in myself and still very self-conscious about my looks.

Thanks Mam.

My DGD thinks Im beautiful and shes all that matters.

Gettingonabit

gettingonabit we might be sisters,mum was always envious of her friends prettier daughters.During a school play comments about the little fat girl with glasses where overlooked and ignored and I wasnt claimed as her daughter.
These days my appearance is important ...To Me,but my confidence is non existant..

for all of you with mothers who let you down.

downtoearth your post is the funniest thing I have read on here for ages!

Never was so I am not going to worry about my looks now.

I genuinely do believe that beauty (attractiveness) is in the eye of the beholder.

My husband finds me attractive no matter what because he loves, and therefore 'sees' the real me. I have been very ill in ways that have been detrimental to my physical appearance, I have a skin condition that sometimes looks pretty ugly, I have been overweight (and even underweight!!), I've had spotty skin and greasy hair and yet........my Wonderful Man has always looked at me through his rose coloured spectacles and thought of me as beautiful. And that's how I feel about him too, although it's not hard as apart from his hair changing from carrotty red to white he looks pretty much the same as when we got married.

(One of my female students met him for the first time last week and commented to his face that he is "a very pretty man, so, so pretty"! )

If beauty is only skin deep I think I am wearing my face inside out..

You obviously have a very lovely OH there GA - what a truly loving man.

My husband said years ago that he really found being fat a total turn off. At that time I was slim - but various circumstances have resulted in me comfort eating, so am now very overweight! I should have left him years agao, but it's all down to the self confidence again (or lack of)

When I was in my teens, my best friend's grandmother, who was then 90, once said to me "Never envy beautiful people. They find it so hard to grow old." I think she was right. I have never thought of myself as good-looking, but on the plus side I don't agonise over my present day wrinkles either.

I have never thought I was attractive anyway - my DH loves me still after 40+ years and my DGD's love my 'silver' hair - it's good enough for me

You are all beautiful. Has Gok Wan taught you nothing?

No we are not all beautiful, I have never watched Gok Wan's programmes, but if that is what he says it is bunkum.

Most of us are, by definition, average looking and I can see no problem with being in that group.

I don't think we're all beautiful either. Or at least, not in the conventional sense. However I do believe we can do our best with what we have, and make a reasonable fist of looking the best we can. I think that's what Gok's message is about, and I agree with it (vain, shallow creature that I am).

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oh come on Drummerman cheer up - at least you have a good head of hair

Personally,I don't think looks have much to do with being attractive, twinkly eyes and a good/naughty sense of humour are what get me.
I've been attracted to some fairly ugly men in the past because they were great fun!

Babyboomer, I have noticed that people who were considered beautiful in their youth DO have a problem as they lose their looks and quite often they stick to how they looked in their 'prime'. In my case I wasn't ever considered beautiful and I have yet to reach my prime but I do wish it would hurry up so I can enjoy it!

I agree with Lona - it is personality that shines through and makes a person attractive. Well, that's what I keep telling myself.

Drummerman, I would say that you ARE attractive. Are you new to GN? If so, welcome and please keep posting we like to have input from men and you would be part of a select bunch! If you are not new I apologise for not seeing any of your previous posts!

Everyone has an 'age' at which they look their best. I never fitted the norm for good looks in my teens and twenties [fat legs so couldn't wear mini skirts, hair too thin to grow long and flat as the proverbial pancake] but came into my own in my 40's and 50's when the 'lookers' started to lose their looks, my good bone structure kicked in and fashion allowed us to wear whatever suited us rather than a uniform 'look of the moment'[hurrah]. However, now in my sixties I'm aware that friends who were never regarded as attractive in their youth don't actually look any older and look fantastic for their age. One example is a woman who battled with weight problems throughout her life but now looks incredibly beautiful, having lovely skin and masses of silver hair...being an artist and very bohemian the way she dresses compounds this. Trouble is, we never recognise our best age till it's passed .