Gransnet forums

Chat

Mrs, Miss or Ms

(208 Posts)
Leticia Sat 08-Aug-15 08:50:06

Which are you?
I am Mrs and can't stand Ms, but militant feminists think I am a disgrace to womanhood; apparently we can't be equal to men while we have a title that shows marital status and they don't.
I am all for free choice and using people's preferred title.
What is your opinion?

absent Fri 14-Aug-15 00:15:17

Your [sic] either feminist or you believe in equality.
NO,you can't be both.Feminist want special treatment.

I am a feminist and believe in equality. So do many other feminists I know or whose books I have read. I have never encountered personally or in feminist literature any suggestion that women should have preferential treatment. There are those who advocate positive discrimination – a legitimate suggestion given that such action has had relative success in some other areas of social and economic inequality – but this is by no means a mainstream feminist proposal.

vampirequeen Fri 14-Aug-15 07:47:09

I don't like positive discrimination. For example, if I need to see a doctor then I want the best doctor not the person who was given the job to fit in with positive discrimination targets.

absent Fri 14-Aug-15 08:10:14

vamipirequeen The criterion for positive discrimination is, I think, that if there are two (or more) candidates who are equally suitable/good/qualified, you choose the woman, not that you choose the woman willy nilly, however unsuitable. It is quite a complex process. The other form of positive discrimination is to provide the means for those who have suffered from inequality to achieve their potential, through, for, example, higher eduction that may have been denied them.

I am not at all sure that positive discrimination is the right way forward, but it is a legitimate and reasonable idea.

It is interesting that we never question some body of authority that is entirely staffed by men and has been for decades, but start getting twitchy when we talk about female quotas – or even just one woman at the table.

Marmark1 Fri 14-Aug-15 09:26:44

" Rose tinted glasses " comes to mind.
If a person is given a position solely because that person is female,is that right,for any reason?How can it be.Like most of you, I want the best candidate,whatever their gender.The people who berate a person for staying at home to raise his or her children,has probably been conditioned to do so.
Equalforall,means just that.No preferential treatment for anyone.
Personally, I can't think for the life of me why a woman wants to be a front line soldier,but,if she's capable,AND I mean capable,in as much as her training is the same as the men's.good luck to her.Personally I've never done mud, and I'm a devout coward,and I love pink.

granjura Fri 14-Aug-15 10:47:20

exactly absent - well explained- it is NOT about giving a woman who is less able or suitable the job- but about giving it to a woman if there are 2 or more candidates who are EQUALLY able, qualified, experienced, etc! to redress the balance, especially in management.

vq, I agree- but it should be about choice. Very few feminists I know would belittle the rôle of mother- as long as it is a true choice, and women who choose to go back to work at some point, are not themselves derided and judged for doing so. I had the best of both worlds, really, stayed at home until our children were both at school, and then went back to Uni and qualified, and quickly rose t hrough the ranks. Our girls always say that my going back to uni and to work was so inspirational and such a good example- they were so proud when on my Degree day- and even prouder now that they realise how hard it is to combine work and raising children and keeping home.

However- your view that women who work both do work + home and children, etc etc, etc (I had to because DH worked such long hours- but we got help to make up for this- a series of Au Pairs and then a friend who helped with cleaning and ironing) - is really quite old-fashioned. Many young men have totally taken this on board and share child care and house/garden duties fairly. Key is to choose the right man! I would never have put up with having to do both- in our case it was due to OH's job- but we discussed it and agreed that getting help would free us for doing things we enjoyed more.

soontobe Fri 14-Aug-15 12:13:28

So most feminists dont think there should be an actual bias towards women [not just talking about jobs]? I am pretty sure that that is what the ones who talk most on the Mumsnet feminist boards think and say on occasions.

janeainsworth Fri 14-Aug-15 12:29:04

Vq You need not worry about positive discrimination in medicine, since the numbers of women accepted to study medicine has outnumbered men for many years.
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/news/10722435/Women-GPs-outnumber-men-for-first-time.html
However, it may be the reason that some people struggle to get an appointment with the GP of their choice, and why there are so many vacancies in general practice, since many of them exercise their choice to work part time. (As do some men GPs, who increasingly realise that work-life balance is important for everyone concerned).