Mrs, Miss or Ms

At the school my darling daughter taught at, female staff were addressed as Madam!

As in the brothel type or French?

Female equivalent to Sir for the male staff

We once stayed in a lovely old fashioned hotel where the staff referred to us as sir and dear. Loved it!

I prefer Mrs, but as long as people are polite, it doesn't matter to me really. Someone addressed me as Miss recently, and I found myself correcting them, Dick Emery style!

The Germans used to be very over the top, with their "verehrte, gnaedige Frau", but that seems to have disappeared now. I wonder if it's still used in Austria and Switzerland, as I remember those countries being even more formal in the 70s. One Austrian driver used to bring his little girl with him occasionally to the shipping company where I worked and she would make the rounds of all the workers, curtseying to each. It was adorable!

Decided to try Ms in the 80s. First class, first day of school year, I wrote my name on the board. Chorus of 'You've left the r out of Mrs, Miss!'

Now usually use Ms or nothing but somehow have Mrs on a bank card and rarely bother to correct anyone's use of Mrs. Occasionally feel it gives me a sense of security when booking taxis, getting building estimates for work etc.

Is Miss gradually dying out? DD kept her surname on marriage, children are double barrelled though older ones sometimes use a shortened version. What happens when a couple, both double barrelled marry I wonder! Quadruple barrelled offspring?!

Relative whose husband was teased about his surname throughout school and even, occasionally now, has had work colleagues altering hers to the 'amusing' version. She has recently changed by deed poll back to her maiden name and so, most willingly, has her husband! He would have changed his name earlier but didn't want to upset relatives who have now died. They also changed the names of their small children so that they won't get the jibes at school. Everyone is happy, especially maternal grandparents. Messes up my family tree a bit but what the heck!

Jane10 - a friend who was patronised at a garage was then asked 'Miss or Mrs?' and firmly and correctly replied 'Doctor' which instantly engendered respect. Well, they didn't know it was a PhD in zoology!

The main character of Margaret Drabble's 'The Millstone' was doing a doctorate which would avoid the Mrs/Miss dilemma.

Since I am married still, it's Mrs. this instantly tells people that I am married, or was married once.Miss tells people that the person is not, and has not been, married. Ms can mean anything, and tbh I cannot see the point of it.
there is a lot of this double barrelled name thing, but what happens when Miss Smith Brown marries Mr Johnson? do the children then have three surnames all added together?
it doesn't bother me much if someone calls me the wrong thing, like the old saying,' call me anything, but don't call me Late for dinner!'

Mrs here- but I do understand the sexism of it all. That a man, at interview, will arrive 'incognito', whereas a woman, be it as Miss, Mrs or Ms- will be stating a lot before the interview even started. Never liked the Ms though. despite understanding why it came about.

In France and Switzerland, Miss or Mademoiselle, is just not used anymore for adult women, and the 'Madame' is always used to avoid this kind a labelling. A good idea I think.

I am often amused by the options offered on a "drop down" menu when ordering online or joining a mailing list. I seem to remember Jo Malone offering "Lady" and "Brigadier" amongst others. When I commented on this to one of the staff in the George St shop in Edinburgh, he said he always put "HRH Princess"

So, on the whole, people don't see it as a major issue but just a personal choice.
Just wondered having been told, elsewhere, that I can't just make it personal when it is political.

I forward DD's mail to Ms L.( Maiden name. )She won't use ex's surname and she's still technically married so in her case I think it's appropriate.
On the whole though I don't like Ms and would never refer to myself as such.

I prefer Mrs. as Ms seems to represent the desire to hide one's marital status.I don't see the need to wear a wedding ring though and didn't for many years.

I thought it sensible for the children of Ed Balls to take his wife's surname for obvious reasons

kitty, I agree, and I am Mrs too. But although we are a team, and like you have been for 45 years, and on equal terms- this is clearly marked in my title, and not in his. Does not bother me particulalrly. If your DH went for an interview- nobody would know if he is married or not- from his title. But if you do, it is clear to all from the onset that you are. Hence in France now the use of 'Madame' for all adult women.

I have always hated Ms. What does it mean? Is a Ms a neutered female?

I have been Mrs in my private and personal life since my wedding day in 1969. I have also been Miss since then as I use my maiden name in my professional life. Both terms of address are perfectly acceptable but Ms is not. It's feminism gone mad.

If they carry on using both surnames it's eventually going to take them a hell of a time to sigh in any where.
Using your wife's surname maybe makes you a bit of a doormat?
Radical Feminist.In my very humble opinion,mean women who feel inferior,especially to men.
Real women are confident and happy in their skin.(well mainly) They know what ever they want to be or do they can.
My great niece wants to be a Architect,she will too.

My favourite was when we stayed at the Planters' Club in Darjeeling in 1979 and I was addressed as Memsahib and DS (2) as Little Sahib

Quite right, Marmark1, real women can be and do whatever they want, including calling themselves Ms, and should be able to do so without attracting insults.

Anyone who is vitriolic about women who call themselves 'Ms' is quite clearly feeling threatened about them, othewise why bother?

Mrs

Marmak1

Using your wife's surname maybe makes you a bit of a doormat?

Does the same apply to women who use their husband's surname?

you beat me to it. Same question?

Mrs, definitely, as I have been married since I was 21. I sometimes write Ms on envelopes of single or divorced women.