Any tips for coping with getting older?

Am reading Helen Lederer's novel 'Losing it' at the moment and after a sticky start I'm finding it really funny - such a contrast to Celia Imrie's offering. (She's also a comedic actress, in case you haven't come across her).

I'm in the same position as Tegan in that I retired at the end of last year and am finding it very hard to motivate myself to get off my backside and 'make an effort' although I know that's what I must do...

I did start yoga classes last week and was mortified at how unfit I've become, at least it's made me determined to exercise more.

My advice is just to ignore aging. We can do nothing to stop it and any aches and pains we might get are not only suffered by older people. Young people suffer from things too. Life is too short to worry about aging and worrying is quite aging in itself

Very well said kittylester, and something I'd do well to heed

As you say, it's inevitable!

I too have quite moments of panic about getting older, and fear of what is ahead, which is silly and irrational but no less real to me. We have chatted in a casual way about throwing in the towel so to speak, and going to live somewhere else, maybe France as we both speak passable French, but then I have awful thoughts of one of us being left alone, inevitably. I know that life is too short to worry, and i really do envy those people with a more glass half full attitude to life and the future, but that is how I am, I just want to stop the clock now while we are both fit and healthy.

Teetime -

Totally agree about said book, I didn't finish it either.

It is hard to find oneself a non-person as you get older, especially if you have held down a responsible job all your working life as well as bringing up a family. I think it may be worse for men as at least we women still (hopefully) have a home to run. I expect I'll get accused of being sexist now but I just mean that most of us take responsibility for the day to day running of the home (washing, ironing, tidying etc) even if our DHs do their bit (mine does, so I am lucky).

The worst thing I find is not being taken seriously by one's children although I do wonder if that is just my perception and not necessarily true. They still come to us for advice from time to time, which is nice, and sometimes ask us to babysit, too, although like others above I do find that exhausting until they are out of the toddler stage.

I think my DCs take me seriously but dynamics shift when GCs arrive, which is inevitable as their focus changes to the GC(s).
I felt more 'redundant' when both children left home than I do now.
I'm here when they want me, a sounding board at other times and when I don't hear from them for a while I send a quick text, just to say 'Hi'.

I don't want, or expect them to, worry about me, and I have a number of interests to keep me occupied-walking, gardening, reading, knitting etc.

But for those GNs struggling I hope things improve quickly and ((hugs))

I've been getting older every day of my life and suppose I am not unique in that! So I've got used to it and just take each day as it comes. What option is there, after all?

Our children left home to go to uni and never returned, so we had a long time to get used to it and fill our time with hobbies etc. When we retired we had those hobbies to occupy us (plus a few new ones). A close friend of ours (husband) was petrified of retirement as he had no interests outside work whatsoever, it took him a long while to adjust, they don't have children.

Glad I am not alone, my Dear Dad died 3 years ago and up till that point I was still a daughter, now apart from my husband I am the oldest family member at 68.
I wish I could do the things I used to but now I know how my Mum and Dad felt and wish I had been more understanding.
My mind can do things but my body says no, I won't be giving up any time soon though

Hi hondagirl I know exactly how your feeling with the exception of being struck with arthrities over 25yrs ago I am now unable to walk very far at all without the aid of sticks,I too feel so much younger than my yrs ,I am however very grateful to our national health for bringing me back after almost losing my life due to a heart valve problem which was the diagnosed 18 mnths Ago ...Since then I have made sure I take life day by day and try not to get stressed or worry about growing old in fact it has made me more determined to go out their and do as much as I possibly can to make Myself happy ,I have a sick Hb now who I take care of as well as myself and not much in between .But I am blessed with lovely freinds n children /grandchildren that I could never leave .....I would hate to have to start making new freinds though I do it all the time on my iPad thru groups ect .I am 67this yr and feel so lucky to be here I'm not going yo worry anymore about growing older not worth it as we can't escape it can only make the best of it . For me my family freinds and pets if any are what makes life worth living ...what comes after that is a bonus ..Just enjoy what you have.xxxx

DH and I don't see a lot of people (our close friends are dropping like flies) but we do try and get out as much as we can, even if what we do is not particularly exciting, but we seem to be getting into a bit of a rut, and I think that is a recipe for disaster. Being a creature of habit, he is very comfortable in the rut, and I can't stand it. If I'm honest, I seem to veer, these days, between feeling as if I could climb Ben Nevis with a piano on my back and feeling so awful and gloomy that my mortality stares me in the face and I'm planning the music for my funeral! But we can still pull out a few stops and yesterday, when DGS (8) and co came to lunch, in order to preserve my garden from The Football of Mass Destruction, DH, DD and I took him to the playing field. There was a little lad there who was looking longingly at the action so we invited him to join in. After a good deal of running about, he said to me "I've never played football with old people before - you're very good" (well I am!). DD fell about laughing but my grandson piped up "My Nanny's not old!" I could have picked him up and kissed him. I'm 69 and fear my footballing days are numbered! I couldn't get out of bed this morning!

There are often times milkflake when my mind's willing but my body says 'No way'

After smashing my foot/ankle three years ago I've had to adapt, not always easy, I just thank my lucky stars that the NHS saved my leg.
Disasters we read about and the awful things other GNs are going through puts it into perspective for me.

sorry, that was to Greyduster!

Well played Greyduster!
How lovely!

I can empathize with all of the above.

I think I'll now go for a walk for some exercise while wondering how I shall cope with the 16 hour day on Thursday while working in the local polling station.

Tiredness, weakness and aches are my biggest bugbears, indeed I note with interest the comment upthread about Simvastatin.

Tegan, I can understand your sadness . I find myself being a different person to different members of my family. I think my two adult DGD's think I'm a bit dippy (I have a terrible sense of direction), and if I'm helping them out by driving them somewhere, I always tend to go the wrong way. I think it's because I try not to, if you get my meaning . They do 'hear' me when I speak to them, though. My DS and his partner's eyes sometimes glaze over a bit when I talk to them, as if they'd rather be talking to someone more interesting, (and really wouldn't mind too much if I left quite soon!) and that makes me feel a bit 'feeble', I suppose, and that's why I can identify a bit with Tegan. I don't feel like that with my DGD's, however.
My eldest DD (my middle one has estranged herself ), does natter away to me regularly, perhaps a couple of times a week, on the phone.
However...and this is something I've been thinking of more often these days....I don't know how things are going to be for my DH and I as we get older. I'm 65 and he's 76. I honestly don't think we have the sort of relationship with our DC's where they'd step up and help us if we couldn't manage. We've always been 'copers', and have never asked for help with anything.

Tegan I'm sorry you're still feeling sad. I tried to post earlier but it didn't work and we've been offline.
I hope some Rod Stewart cheers you up a bit (and anyone else feeling a bit down)
m.youtube.com/watch?v=0_7s7vkIqwo
'I used to walk in the shade
With my blues on parade'

Walk in the sunshine if you can

Marelli the copers phrase resonates with me, and I suspect many others.
It must shake the next generation a bit when the 'coping parent(s)' aren't doing so well-I know it did when I think of my parents.
Perhaps there's a bit of denial/ostrich behaviour emerging from some children?

I'm a bit younger than many posters (61) but can empathise especially when children no longer live nearby.

If you consider the alternative to getting older, it doesn't seem so bad.

I don't at all mind being the age I am, though. I have one friend who seems to revel in the fact that she's 'an old lady, now' (her words). She's 76 (same as my DH) who doesn't act his age , but I think she feels a bit 'safer' if she's an 'old lady'. It's as if she's been able to give up on certain things, and the because she's the age she is, she feels as if she's allowed to be cosily settled into old age, as it were.
You're quite right, absent. It's ok being 65, though - honestly

I have always felt as old as I was at any particular time so find it hard to imagine 'what like' (Dundee speak, at least I heard it first in Dundee) is this age disconnect between mind and body that some feel. I've been trying to decide why I have always felt as old as I am and I think I'm coming to the conclusion that it's because I've always pushed myself right to the edges of my physical abilities (not saying they've been all that great) so I've noticed when there was a change in what I could do right from teenagerdom.

I agree with those who say the best approach is to just get on with it as best one can.

For those who feel a bit down and older than they'd like to feel .

Well, blow me. My son phoned up this afternoon and said he was at a pub down the road and would we like to join them . And he's just emailed me a new photo of the baby.

Lovely, Tegan. Bet that's raised your spirits a bit!