Sandra Howard has compiled a list of pointers to identify if you are past it in the DM today. I could tick about 45 of them. 
Here are a couple of my own.
I have to lean against a chest of drawers when I put my trousers on to stop myself falling over.
I miss the leg hole when I am putting on my knickers. 
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This could give MrK ideas - oo you are awful.

