Whatever next?

Sorry just mentally warped off there, imaging what would happen if famous designers were involved, would anyone opt for the Laurence Llewellyn-Bowen, or perhaps the more "country" style of a Kirsty Allsopp..............

I'm afraid they were around 29 years ago, when I had my first. Ex joked about me getting one while I was busy pushing... I should have realised the writing was on the wall even then.

what about shabby chic?

That would suit me! Thank heavens the shaving thing is going out of fashion, they are now saying it is unhygienic because the hair follicles get infections.

Think I'd go for rococo

Could bring in Ground Force to deal with the 'foliage' . . . Nice bit of topiary for the 'hedge' . . .

Art deco is my 'thing' can't quiet imagine how that would be interpreted. Sunburst maybe ??

Antique!

Or perhaps the new term that is sometimes used for vintage, "previously loved" ????

I suppose that might be moderately better than something being described as having period features.

phoenix

Cottage style? Old and rather out of control?

It's the extensions I'd be worried about.........

Or perhaps even "impressive exterior, but in need of a complete refurbishment programme including replumbing, could present a challenge to the DIY enthusiast"

brilliant phoenix

Arts and crafts anyone? Something a bit William Morris?

Vivienne Westwood? Or perhaps not, punk involved safety pins and chains didn't it?

I also remember Vivienne Westwood's puff ball skirts, not a good look for ones parts, IMO

Well, quite

Has anyone been vajazzled? Crystal designs on shaved bits! I'm all for a bit of bling on occasion but that is a step too far I fear.

Wouldn't the crystals be scratchy for - er - anything coming into contact with them? A young lad could come to harm.

I would mention Upcycling, but it sounds a bit painful in this context