The great dog/cat controversy

A danger to the safety of DOGS, more like....(mutter)

No, I'm a... No comment

We still don't know who had lamb for dinner?

Duncan did.

this sounds as though the jury are out on the verdict we need to have a foreman of the jury....judge jeni do you have a black hat for sentencing...have we come by a dogged decision yet..or are we all Barking mad...this actually sounds more of a job for jeremy kyle is there a DNA test result to be revealed...come back after the break...

The dog did. Can anyone say otherwise?

Which mutt are you talking about now, nag? Come now, this is getting confusing if you keep changing Donald's name!

WHAT??? You're going to have me KILLED???? I'm going on a starvation diet until my appeal (glass will be pleased)

I'm exhausted......!

I think this court should disqualify itself for reasons of insanity...

Where's whitewave?

Bags, I am the only one who has consistently got the d****d dog's name right! The others are just trying to cloud the issue....

My lawyer advises that I should apply for bail in the sum of 2/6d. I thank you! C'mon Mr Scam, let's get outta here before they frame some else

Speak for yourself, Oxon!

I have a rather fetching little blach number(virtually) complete with spotted veil. I don't need it very much for social security tribunals. Will that do?

But it's got to be in exact old money! None of your 12 and a half pees....

How do you have 1/2 a pee?

I'm biased anyway, I'm a cat person.

When - I should scarper while you can, if I were you.

I have one florin and a silver sixpence - you will find they are of antique value, so I would like ten pounds change. Thank you (where's my passport?)

jeni that's a midsteam sample.

Just what I was thinking, jeni, but I have heard a nurse talk about residual pees.

I mean midstreem!

or midstream even!

Midsteam...? That conjures up a wonderful picture, Oxon!

On the steps of the court, talking to the Sun reporter.

...and what's more I've been framed and they all know who did it but they're covering up for each other it's all the same with these toffs and I bet no-one's checked to see whether the dog even exists I don't know what the world is coming to - can you get that in a five word headline? Ta!

so here's your halfpenny change, when