What to say in a birthday card to recently bereaved

A friend of mine recently lost her husband the day before her birthday. I just wrote that I couldn't imagine how she must be feeling, but didn't want the day to pass without her knowing she was in my thoughts - something to that effect.

Rather than send a birthday card I’d send a “Thinking of You” style of card.

A few years ago I was bereaved of my adult son.
People were thoughtful with my birthday cards some months later.
They choose cards which didn't say "Happy Birthday". Inside they wrote such things as, Thinking of you on your birthday and wishing you a gentle day.
It means a lot, still to receive birthday cards and kind wishes, whilst knowing that friends and family are aware of my feelings.
I wish your friend/family member
A gentle day.

Just a ‘thinking of you’ card It won’t be a happy birthday will it? so don’t wish her one but she needs to know you haven’t forgotten her

Just write 'with all my love'.

What I did in a similar situation was to buy a blank card and I wrote "Thinking of you on your birthday" inside. I then added a personal note expressing my sympathy etc.

Perhaps something along the lines of "I know that this birthday may be a difficult one for you, and I wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you today."

Thinking of you today on your birthday, sending love and kind thoughts.

In a similar situation, I did as others have suggested, and bought a low key card which said " It's your birthday" ( no happy, celebrate,etc) and wrote in it that I knew that the day would be bittersweet, and that I was thinking of them.

“May you find peace on your birthday. Thinking of you with love.”

When I lost my son peace was what I wanted.

Yes, I meant to say that the card I gave to my friend wasn't a 'Happy Birthday' - can't remember if it was just a blank card or a 'Thinking of You' one. Seemed more appropriate under the circumstances.

Send a Thinking of you card' instead of a birthday card

A friend's daughter died in a car accident. On her birthday some months later I sent a card with a gentle green landscape, and wished her a peaceful day.

All my love hope and thoughts are with you on your birthday and always

I lost my husband on the 1st November 2023, and an old school-friend sent me an e-mail on my birthday on the 26th saying, I cannot wush you a Happy Birthday this year, but I can and do wish you many happier returns of the day than this birthday, this year.

I don't know whether your friend would appreciate this wording. I did.

I think a card with a beautiful picture....of woodland, sea, birds, sky. And words of gentleness and peace. '
I have sometimes put a £10 coffee voucher in....it's a kind gesture x

I would send one of those blank cards and just add comments yourself to the effect that you're thinking of them especially ''today".
I found it really thoughtless when people sent me Happy B'day cards a couple of weeks after my DH passed away, how could I possibly have a happy day, so unfeeling.

I would choose a blank card with a nice picture and write thinking of you on your birthday.

I realise it is difficult and does depend on how close you both are.

I would start by of cours sending birthday wishes on what must be a difficult time for ourself
Take care of yourself my thoughts are with you.

Write what you would like to receive if in that situation ..

All the suggestions are truly lovely ..

I can assure you she will not want to be reminded that is is her birthday, but she does want to know that you are thinking of her. Most above have got it right but definitely no mentioning of birthday at all. I have been there so know how that felt to me. Wishing a peaceful day or just plain thinking of you is more than enough definitely not a birthday card either. There are some lovely plain cards, even better if you can make one yourself. She will appreciate your effort.

I wouldn't send a birthday card. Just a card with a message acknowledging it is a special dayand you are thinking of her.

AuntieE someone wrote that in my first birthday cardcafter my husband died 22 years ago. It mean a lot to me that my friend who sent understood how I was feeling .

Since my husband died I don't send cards with words on the front or inside. I buy cards from Moon dragon and Green Pebble and choose cards with pictures to match the person I am sending it to . I also send e cards from Jackie Lawson again choosing the e card to match the person and my own words.

I'd also go for a thinking of you and not a birthday card.
Sometimes it's very difficult to write .

The worst card that I've received was a condolence card in which was written-
At least you've got your freedom back !
I was incredulous.