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I'm feeling inadequate.......... .......

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chickenlegs Sat 10-Mar-18 11:15:23

I have had to refuse baby-sitting my two grandsons, aged 3 and 1. Their parents were going to be a good hour from home. I was to take over at 4.30 and prepare the boys' meal, feed them and put them to bed. The 3-year old I can do anything with and for, but the little one is walking now and very fast to find anything dangerous to put in his mouth, etc. They both know me well, although I have never fed the little one or put him to bed. I think I could have coped 20 years ago but my daughter was 41 when she had her first, and I'm now 75. When I write this, I think I must be a wimp. What do other grans think?

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meandashy Mon 12-Mar-18 09:44:53

I really don't blame you & agree you did the sensible thing.
My dd is expecting. I was very honest yesterday and said I didn't think I would cope with both dgds overnight (7 year age difference) and I'm in my late 40s!! Time will tell I expect.....

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Synonymous Mon 12-Mar-18 13:32:55

There is a very good reason why we are designed to have children when we are young and also that the menopause comes when it does! It is lovely to have a little input into the DGC but any more than that is just not practical for very many of us.
I think that the financial implications of childcare and the expectation that mums should work are unrealistic pressures which make for unreasonable demands being put on grandparents. I think this stems from housing primarily as in our own parents' day house purchase was not the norm and there was much more renting so there were no big mortgage payments or maintenance costs to find. We are now very much a consumer society with so much intrusive advertising.

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Magrithea Mon 12-Mar-18 15:32:35

chickenlegs I'm younger but still worry about my DGC aged 5 and 3 when I have to look after them. We recently had them overnight while DD and SiL went away for the night (only the 2nd time they've done so since DGC were born). It's much harder when they're not your DC!

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pollyperkins Wed 14-Mar-18 18:28:53

I agree Magrithea. I'm always relieved when the parents return and I can hand them over in one piece! Im particularly neurotic about playgrounds imagining the dreadful accidents which could happen (but havent so far!) I wasnt like this with my children.

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Luckygirl Wed 14-Mar-18 18:49:26

Children do adapt to different carers - mine understand that I cannot lift them and rush up to cuddle my knees. They also have their nappies changed standing up and are very co-operative - "Bum in the air like you just don't care!"

But no grandparent should agree to care if they are not sure they can keep the child safe - we have everything geared up to the children here - gates are tied up and medicines are in locked boxes etc. It has to be, as I cannot leap to save them if they are about to run out of a gate etc.

I look back and boggle at all I used to do - and be able to do.

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