I'm feeling inadequate.......... .......

Children do adapt to different carers - mine understand that I cannot lift them and rush up to cuddle my knees. They also have their nappies changed standing up and are very co-operative - "Bum in the air like you just don't care!"

But no grandparent should agree to care if they are not sure they can keep the child safe - we have everything geared up to the children here - gates are tied up and medicines are in locked boxes etc. It has to be, as I cannot leap to save them if they are about to run out of a gate etc.

I look back and boggle at all I used to do - and be able to do.

I agree Magrithea. I'm always relieved when the parents return and I can hand them over in one piece! Im particularly neurotic about playgrounds imagining the dreadful accidents which could happen (but havent so far!) I wasnt like this with my children.

chickenlegs I'm younger but still worry about my DGC aged 5 and 3 when I have to look after them. We recently had them overnight while DD and SiL went away for the night (only the 2nd time they've done so since DGC were born). It's much harder when they're not your DC!

There is a very good reason why we are designed to have children when we are young and also that the menopause comes when it does! It is lovely to have a little input into the DGC but any more than that is just not practical for very many of us.
I think that the financial implications of childcare and the expectation that mums should work are unrealistic pressures which make for unreasonable demands being put on grandparents. I think this stems from housing primarily as in our own parents' day house purchase was not the norm and there was much more renting so there were no big mortgage payments or maintenance costs to find. We are now very much a consumer society with so much intrusive advertising.

I really don't blame you & agree you did the sensible thing.
My dd is expecting. I was very honest yesterday and said I didn't think I would cope with both dgds overnight (7 year age difference) and I'm in my late 40s!! Time will tell I expect.....

I look after my 1 year old GS from 7.20 am until 5. 20 pm one day a week . It is fairly exhausting but he is a very good little chap and never whinges unless he is tired . I find myself drifting off when he has his nap ! I couldn`t manage 2 at a time these days and I am only 66 but do have health problems and limited mobility .

I no longer look after my 2 year old grandson, I am 73 now and I can't lift him, he is so fast and I can't catch him either but my husband who is also 73 looks after him, seemingly with little or no problem :-)

My grandsons live away,almost 4 hours by car and we are looking after them for 3 days we go and collect them and bring them home with us.They are 3 and 5yrs old and i am 71 and Oh 69 but not very mobile,this is the 2nd time we have had them,yes do get rather rired but its such a pleasure to take them out and treat them.Ase all know nannies are allowed to spoil our grandchildren.

As our grandchildren live over 100 miles away we are never required to babysit, except on the odd occasion when they are visiting us with parents and Mum & Dad go out for an evening. And then it is mainly a case of keeping them amused and acting as referees and snack providers! But even the constant activity and noise can be exhausting. It makes me realise just how amazing my own grandparents were to take on the daytime care of a premature newborn baby (me) when they were in their seventies.

Essential that you are honest rather than end up in a pickle. Could you compromise and babysit the older GC on his own sometimes. This would allow you the pleasure of his company and if the babysitting is about costs, as is so often the case you would be meeting your family halfway, feeling useful, but being honest about the difficulties of caring for super fast toddler.

Thanks for the interesting posts from everyone. I am now 70 and offered to look after a 14 mth old for 1 day when daughter returned to work. She was thinking of sending her to a childminder but I think its good for kids to be with family who love them, and it gives me the pleasure of seeing them grow up, take their first steps etc. I noticed about a year ago that it was tiring and hard to chase around with youngsters but have accidentally found my own personal solution. I joined a slimming group and lost 1 stone, and I started going out with YMCA walking groups (2 mile local walks), also doing a few exercises each morning in my bedroom. I noticed an increase in stamina and got back the bounce I had when younger, so can now get up and down from the floor quickly and even play football with an 8 year old. The 14 mth old can move fast but my legs are longer - I think that makes us even! I do think its ok to say no when you are older and finding it a struggle as it is very tiring. Dont feel guilty about it - I will stop if it becomes too much for me. If you find it uncomfortable to lift child or bend down for nappy change look for some ingenious tricks eg get child to climb up on a chair and put himself on a side table for nappy changes (if he is over 1 yr old and climbing on things)

You are very wise today no, after all we are not at our age able to produce a child naturally because nature know our limitations. At our age it is often us who need a bit of Care!

I was 58 when my grandson was born and very keen to babysit and when he reached 6 months I would have him overnight occasionally . 5 years later his sister turned up...and I found it much more difficult coping with two of them with such a large age gap.Plys my hubby is now totally incapable of looking after himself so making it more trial than enjoyment!! The children are lovely but I seem nit to be able to cope with youngest who misses her parents a lot when away from them. I now do lot of taking and picking up from schools and I enjoy that more than childminding...but I’ve said that will stop when I’m 70...I want what’s left of my life to myself. The youngest will then be 9 and well able to take herself to school. I will have enjoyed my 13 years of ‘doung’ for them but you must draw a line and stick to it.

Chicken legs.

You are most definitely not a wimp.

We are that much older now with a lot less energy.
We must look after our own health.

I think it is much better to sensibly and politely refuse to do this rather than be over-confident and then get into goodness knows what trouble, and safer too.

The problem is that our DC have children In their late thirties early forties now and GP's are so much older than our parents were . I am 68 and DH 71 and in poor health . I can manage the twins of 7 and GD 6 even all together, but the rising 2 year old is a different case altogether . He is like grease lightening and so heavy I can hardly pick him up . Fortunately he is so attached to DD , I am rarely asked to have him for long!

I think far too much is expected of many grandparents now. I wouldn’t have dreamt of asking my parents (in their mid-sixties at the time) to look after my children when they were under school age.

chickenlegs you are very wise to say no, we have a 6 month old kitten and he is challenge enough! I kid you not but when the family stay with us our DGC look after us when their parents go out!

I insist that DH helps me when I have to babysit. My GD are 6, 5, 3, and 9 months. To be honest I'm worried about taking ill if I'm on my own. I have fallen twice over the last few years and also had really bad vertigo. I was asked to have the baby one day a week but I felt I had to say no. I find it too exhausting.

Our youngest GC have turned into two delightful children. It was a different story when we agreed to mind them at age two and a half and eight months old.

D and SIL would be gone for a long, four day weekend to attend a destination wedding. Our grandson was at the height of his 'terrible twos' and the baby had a cold.

Baby fussed continually and refused to stay in her crib at bedtime (cried every night). It turned out to be the longest, most stressful weekend that I can recall in my lifetime. I had forgotten how toddlers could demand more time and energy than even two adults could muster.

By the time my D and and SIL came home we were both exhausted and irritable. I couldn't understand why I felt so poorly until that same night at 2 am, I ended up being taken by ambulance with pneumonia and a fever of 103 F. ...and we were supposed to fly home later that same day!

The hospital released me just in time to catch our flight and I must have slept for two days straight after that. I did recover and we now laugh about it, but for awhile we were quite traumatized by the whole experience.

I know how you feel. I agreed to have my 9 year old GS for a weekend recently and I definitely had collywobbles at times during that time. I had phone numbers of neighbours in my mobile. They had been briefed that the two of us were alone. I insisted that my GS knew how to call the nearest neighbour - it is some distance away - and we practised. We can't be too careful.

I’ve just realised it started about 12 years ago when I couldn’t ‘catch’ a I year old GS on a Cornish beach! His one aim was to skedaddle up a ramp to the car park and I had to yell for someone else to bring him back ...

It was the travel cot which made me realise my limitations. I’m 4’10 (now) with quite short arms. I found I couldn’t get youngest GD out 3 years ago so haven’t even tried with GGD. Once she can climb up me it should be ok but i can’t lift her.
Sadly nor will my knees cooperate to let me play on the floor as I did with the older GC, I miss that!

I am nearly 67 and the only reason I could it is because I ran a playgroup for years and years....I can call on that experience. Saying that not sure how I will be in my 70s. You know yourself and what your grandchildren are like. I am sure your son and daughter in law will understand x

My grandson is 2 and sturdy, he was asleep in the travel cot and everyone else had gone out. I was in charge. when he woke up he was smelly, I went to lift him out of the cot and nothing happened, he was immovable.

I had no idea I was so feeble.

We made a game of 'change a stinker standing up', (the rules of which are availabe upon request) it took ages and many babywipes and he thought it was hilarious. I should have listened when my daughter said 'can I leave chunky monkey with you?............