I'm feeling inadequate.......... .......

The childcare I did (without thinking twice about it) in my forties, as well as a full time job, two teenagers at home, parents to visit and other stuff, I couldn't even contemplate now in my late sixties and with nothing else to take my energy except myself.
I don't even cope with me some days!

We are in our 60s. DGC are 13 & 11 & we're delighted to spend any time caring for them. But I think that childten aged between 1 to 3 years are incredibly demanding; you simply cannot take your eyes off them, and they can move like Olympic sprinters! We know our limitations and these days we simply haven't the speed or energy to be responsible for toddlers, except in the very short term. Trust your gut on this one.

My daughter (an only child) has 2, aged 3 and 1. It was agreed between us that while I wanted to help with childcare - I moved 180 miles from my lovely home by the sea as soon as I knew that she was expecting no 1, so that she would have help nearby- that I would only have one at a time and only for one full day a week. There have had to be occasional exceptions to this, but in general it works. Will watch them both while Mummy goes to doctor for example or for an evening of they are both in bed and Mommy and Daddy aren't far away. Would be different if course of my DH was still around.

I feel that as the parent of a child I would want to know if whoever was looking after the children felt comfortable enough to say that it was too much for them to manage. I would much rather have both parties be safe.

A PP said that they only see DGC when babysitting. I thought that only applied to me.
I often wonder if our DCs try to avoid having to accept that we are getting older. Mine refused to come with me to a hospital appointment yet still expected me to babysit 3 or 4 days a week. I am told I am "an old driver" and not very good yet I have to travel miles to pick up child. I can drive perfectly well without exceeding the speed limit as DC does.
I wish we could go back to the days when Grans were visited rather than Grans having wee DGC dropped off and picked up with barely a word of conversation.

My grandson is 2 and sturdy, he was asleep in the travel cot and everyone else had gone out. I was in charge. when he woke up he was smelly, I went to lift him out of the cot and nothing happened, he was immovable.

I had no idea I was so feeble.

We made a game of 'change a stinker standing up', (the rules of which are availabe upon request) it took ages and many babywipes and he thought it was hilarious. I should have listened when my daughter said 'can I leave chunky monkey with you?............

I am nearly 67 and the only reason I could it is because I ran a playgroup for years and years....I can call on that experience. Saying that not sure how I will be in my 70s. You know yourself and what your grandchildren are like. I am sure your son and daughter in law will understand x

It was the travel cot which made me realise my limitations. I’m 4’10 (now) with quite short arms. I found I couldn’t get youngest GD out 3 years ago so haven’t even tried with GGD. Once she can climb up me it should be ok but i can’t lift her.
Sadly nor will my knees cooperate to let me play on the floor as I did with the older GC, I miss that!

I’ve just realised it started about 12 years ago when I couldn’t ‘catch’ a I year old GS on a Cornish beach! His one aim was to skedaddle up a ramp to the car park and I had to yell for someone else to bring him back ...

I know how you feel. I agreed to have my 9 year old GS for a weekend recently and I definitely had collywobbles at times during that time. I had phone numbers of neighbours in my mobile. They had been briefed that the two of us were alone. I insisted that my GS knew how to call the nearest neighbour - it is some distance away - and we practised. We can't be too careful.

Our youngest GC have turned into two delightful children. It was a different story when we agreed to mind them at age two and a half and eight months old.

D and SIL would be gone for a long, four day weekend to attend a destination wedding. Our grandson was at the height of his 'terrible twos' and the baby had a cold.

Baby fussed continually and refused to stay in her crib at bedtime (cried every night). It turned out to be the longest, most stressful weekend that I can recall in my lifetime. I had forgotten how toddlers could demand more time and energy than even two adults could muster.

By the time my D and and SIL came home we were both exhausted and irritable. I couldn't understand why I felt so poorly until that same night at 2 am, I ended up being taken by ambulance with pneumonia and a fever of 103 F. ...and we were supposed to fly home later that same day!

The hospital released me just in time to catch our flight and I must have slept for two days straight after that. I did recover and we now laugh about it, but for awhile we were quite traumatized by the whole experience.

I insist that DH helps me when I have to babysit. My GD are 6, 5, 3, and 9 months. To be honest I'm worried about taking ill if I'm on my own. I have fallen twice over the last few years and also had really bad vertigo. I was asked to have the baby one day a week but I felt I had to say no. I find it too exhausting.

chickenlegs you are very wise to say no, we have a 6 month old kitten and he is challenge enough! I kid you not but when the family stay with us our DGC look after us when their parents go out!

I think far too much is expected of many grandparents now. I wouldn’t have dreamt of asking my parents (in their mid-sixties at the time) to look after my children when they were under school age.

The problem is that our DC have children In their late thirties early forties now and GP's are so much older than our parents were . I am 68 and DH 71 and in poor health . I can manage the twins of 7 and GD 6 even all together, but the rising 2 year old is a different case altogether . He is like grease lightening and so heavy I can hardly pick him up . Fortunately he is so attached to DD , I am rarely asked to have him for long!

I think it is much better to sensibly and politely refuse to do this rather than be over-confident and then get into goodness knows what trouble, and safer too.

Chicken legs.

You are most definitely not a wimp.

We are that much older now with a lot less energy.
We must look after our own health.

I was 58 when my grandson was born and very keen to babysit and when he reached 6 months I would have him overnight occasionally . 5 years later his sister turned up...and I found it much more difficult coping with two of them with such a large age gap.Plys my hubby is now totally incapable of looking after himself so making it more trial than enjoyment!! The children are lovely but I seem nit to be able to cope with youngest who misses her parents a lot when away from them. I now do lot of taking and picking up from schools and I enjoy that more than childminding...but I’ve said that will stop when I’m 70...I want what’s left of my life to myself. The youngest will then be 9 and well able to take herself to school. I will have enjoyed my 13 years of ‘doung’ for them but you must draw a line and stick to it.

You are very wise today no, after all we are not at our age able to produce a child naturally because nature know our limitations. At our age it is often us who need a bit of Care!

Thanks for the interesting posts from everyone. I am now 70 and offered to look after a 14 mth old for 1 day when daughter returned to work. She was thinking of sending her to a childminder but I think its good for kids to be with family who love them, and it gives me the pleasure of seeing them grow up, take their first steps etc. I noticed about a year ago that it was tiring and hard to chase around with youngsters but have accidentally found my own personal solution. I joined a slimming group and lost 1 stone, and I started going out with YMCA walking groups (2 mile local walks), also doing a few exercises each morning in my bedroom. I noticed an increase in stamina and got back the bounce I had when younger, so can now get up and down from the floor quickly and even play football with an 8 year old. The 14 mth old can move fast but my legs are longer - I think that makes us even! I do think its ok to say no when you are older and finding it a struggle as it is very tiring. Dont feel guilty about it - I will stop if it becomes too much for me. If you find it uncomfortable to lift child or bend down for nappy change look for some ingenious tricks eg get child to climb up on a chair and put himself on a side table for nappy changes (if he is over 1 yr old and climbing on things)

Essential that you are honest rather than end up in a pickle. Could you compromise and babysit the older GC on his own sometimes. This would allow you the pleasure of his company and if the babysitting is about costs, as is so often the case you would be meeting your family halfway, feeling useful, but being honest about the difficulties of caring for super fast toddler.

As our grandchildren live over 100 miles away we are never required to babysit, except on the odd occasion when they are visiting us with parents and Mum & Dad go out for an evening. And then it is mainly a case of keeping them amused and acting as referees and snack providers! But even the constant activity and noise can be exhausting. It makes me realise just how amazing my own grandparents were to take on the daytime care of a premature newborn baby (me) when they were in their seventies.

My grandsons live away,almost 4 hours by car and we are looking after them for 3 days we go and collect them and bring them home with us.They are 3 and 5yrs old and i am 71 and Oh 69 but not very mobile,this is the 2nd time we have had them,yes do get rather rired but its such a pleasure to take them out and treat them.Ase all know nannies are allowed to spoil our grandchildren.

I no longer look after my 2 year old grandson, I am 73 now and I can't lift him, he is so fast and I can't catch him either but my husband who is also 73 looks after him, seemingly with little or no problem :-)

I look after my 1 year old GS from 7.20 am until 5. 20 pm one day a week . It is fairly exhausting but he is a very good little chap and never whinges unless he is tired . I find myself drifting off when he has his nap ! I couldn`t manage 2 at a time these days and I am only 66 but do have health problems and limited mobility .