How to deal with doom-y thoughts

I haven't posted for a while but maybe if this helps here goes. I know exactly how you are feeling. My life has been tough as many are. I thought things would now be ok. How silly of me.

Last month, on holiday, fortunately not far from home, I fell top to bottom down a flight of very steep stairs. Fortunately no bones broken but a severely cut head. The blood was unbelievable. I was taken by ambulance to A&E. They were wonderful there but the experience has left me traumatised.

I lost all my hair some years ago and wear a hair system. I have always dreaded something happening to my head and my system having to come off. My DH used to say 'stop worrying about things that will never happen' and yet there I was, hair system off, it and me soaked in blood, humiliated and scared. My husband had never seen me without my hair system. It was horrendous. I am still in shock and I know that doomy feeling you describe. I have had many horrible things happen but this awful feeling of dread and shock won't go away. I hope things improve for you.

I have no experience of these feelings, but I didn’t want to read and run. I am so sorry that these things have happened to you both. I do hope things get better, physically and mentally for you both. Life can be very hard at times, sending hugs.

Sorry to hear that CarrotTop and especially for the way you were treated in A&E🤬 I have personal experience of that recently which mirrors yours.
Have you seen your old GP yet to tell him/her of your distressing ailment?
It’s understandable that you feel a sense of impending doom as you need to be well to take care of your DH and run things.
This episode has brought this home to you.
All I can offer is to be kind to yourself💐

I would definitely make an appointment with GP as soon as possible. The episode you had must have had an underlying cause, and should be investigated. Did they do any tests in hospital? A sense of impending doom is associated with some medical conditions. Bring your OH to appointment so he can explain to doc how you were before calling ambulance.

The hospital should have informed your GP regarding your attendance at A & E in the same way that a hospital Consultant would if you attended an OP clinic so perhaps check your GP records as well as making an appointment to see your GP CarrotTop.
Food may have been withheld if a patient was deemed to be NBM - nil by mouth - and if pain relief was given orally there would surely have been some fluids administered.

I had a serious incident at home a few years ago and I’m fortunate that I wasn’t alone as I dread to think how I would have even managed to call 999……but now, whenever MrA leaves the house I always have either the cordless landline phone or my mobile with me…..if I’m KO’d that’s too bad and even a Lifeline doesn’t work if the wearer isn’t conscious.

I get it in the middle of the night when everything is quiet. I tried to breath in deeply and keep saying to myself 'You are safe and secure'. It does dissipate but I think it may be part of being 70.

I think you should go to your GP.
There are medications I think, that can help. I get similar when my anxiety gets the upper hand - restless & sure I've forgotten something life-changing, & that terrible consequences are on the way.

It's not surprising that you've got this, your experience was traumatic & you have heavy responsibilities. But worth seeing if there's something that will alleviate, as it's a horrible feeling.

I always go to sleep listening to Jason Stephensons get back to sleep tape on utube. Wake up hours later with the calming music playing. I started having background music or an audiobook or podcast on when I suffered from tinnitus years ago and was then stressed by the pandemic. He covers all sorts of things including anxiety. I hope it doesn’t look like I’m trivialising your problems because there needs to be medical help, too, but it has helped me over the past few years.

CarrotTop did you know you and your husband can self-refer to Adult Social Services for an assessment of both your needs?

I think if you had a support system in place, probably starting with a call-button/alarm system, you'd feel less alone and more confident that there is help available if you need it.

Thank you everyone, I really appreciate your comments. GP appointments are rare as hen's teeth here but I happen to have one next week about something completely different so I'll talk to whichever GP I'm allocated. I think I will have to give in and accept that I need some outside support -- I've been refusing to admit it for several years but DH is 84 and I'm almost 80, so I suppose it had to get to this stage eventually. Thanks again for your help, people.

What a terrible experience, CarrotTop. It's not surprising that you have been left traumatised.
Be assured that you are not alone - many of us have a little nagging voice in our heads worrying about future scenarios.
I do agree with the suggestions about organising a some support to give you some peace of mind.
Good luck. I wish you calmer days ahead

So sorry about this, like me I know you are caring round the clock for your DH, my worry is that if I die what will happen to him??
You firstly need to make sure your GP does something about your troubling symptoms, could it be a UTI??
Also getting help is a must, I am 77 now and thinking of it myself. Can’t afford much but anything is better than nothing.
Good luck 💐💐

When are we going to take out the word Service from the NHS. Because for far too many people it’s not.
I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again: I will have to be unconscious before I go into Southend Hospital again 🤬

petra

When are we going to take out the word Service from the NHS. Because for far too many people it’s not.
I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again: I will have to be unconscious before I go into Southend Hospital again 🤬

I agree Petra. We are near a London hospital but it isn’t much better. And seeing a GP is nigh on impossible. Our lives would be made so much easier if we had health services of any description.

Not relating to the thread but I was glad to see you posting Kate49. Sorry, though, to hear of your fall. I did that too , 2 years ago, breaking teeth and nose. I hope you’re feeling better now
CarrotTop I hope your GP appointment later this week will be helpful and that you’ll come back and let us know.

That seems like a frightening experience, especially when you have so much responsibility at home and little support nearby. After a shock like that, it is understandable to feel anxious, so try taking things one day at a time rather than worrying about everything at once. Keep in touch with your GP and ask for a review, particularly as you had a severe headache and confusion. If those symptoms return, seek emergency help immediately. You deserve support too, so please do not feel you have to manage everything alone.

CarrotTop and Kate1949
My heart goes out to you both and I can only hope things will improve for you both.
A dreadful shock for you CarrotTop and sincerely hope you can at least get to see a GP very soon.
Kate 1949 I can't imagine how dreadful you must have felt when your worst fears came true and especially having your husband see you for the first time in that way. Do try to remember he loves you and think how you would feel if the positions were reversed, you would just be happy to see him alive.
Take care both of you and my very sincere good wishes.

Do you have a garden you can go out in, or a park nearby. Being out in the fresh air could help to lift your spirits.

I watch comedy programmes too, mostly on BBC such as Would I lie to you, The Good Life etc.

Gloomy moods are hard to shift. My friend always says "This too will pass " I hope things pick up for you.

Thank you knspol and Bellanonna (I'm sorry you had a horrible fall too).

The GPS here don't even answer the phone, directed directly to a link for online services which I'm not good at and texts terrify me. I really would'nt know what to do in an emergency.

Hi, all. I went for my GP appointment yesterday:
"Ah, you're here about your gout?"
"That's what the original appointment was made for (several weeks ago) but I've been in A&E since then with bad headache, confusion and..."
GP interrupts: "Oh well, I see they didn't keep you in?"
"No, I was told to call a taxi and go home even though I could barely walk."
GP goes quiet. "Oh well, you look OK today and your foot isn't too bad. Make another appointment here if it gets worse."
End of consultation.
I'm seriously considering seeing a private GP for £150 (another chip out of the Rainy Day Fund).

Unfortunately these days you have to be assertive with GPs. Ask to be referred for further investigations and don't accept no for an answer. We have good conscientious GPs at our surgery but also some GPs who usher you to the door... they are also under pressure to keep referrals low so the waiting list numbers look good. Ask to see a different GP. You also need to say you are only carer they would soon buck up their ideas if you became ill and your husband had to go in a home if you had to go into hospital.

Earthmother9

The GPS here don't even answer the phone, directed directly to a link for online services which I'm not good at and texts terrify me. I really would'nt know what to do in an emergency.

Earthmother9, that's what happens here if I call the GP's surgery. One of the first things the tin voice says is Press 1 for checking appointments. (What it doesn't say is that this option only applies to existing appointments, not making new ones.) When you're poorly, you hear the word "appointments" and gratefully follow instructions, which leads you nowhere. In any case, when I've tried to follow the instructions, a different tin voice says that my phone is not set up to use the service.
But I've found that if I let the recorded messages roll on without pressing anything, a real person will answer eventually.
Maybe you could try that, if you haven't already.

No wonder you feel so worried carrottop - I absolutely empathise with that dread feeling- I’m lucky enough to have help with my husband who has mnd but still worry about being ill myself. These days the only way to get gp to listen is to keep on going back . I’m not sure whether it applies to you but The princes Trust do an emergency care thing which can help with a worry of being rushed to hospital and no one to care for a partner who is incapacitated.