Grandparents name issues

Sago

Wind up?

Really? How unkind!

I know where OP is coming from. I wanted to be Granny but so did DiL's stepmother. She is now Granny (name) and I am just Granny. My mum was Granny and my children loved her.

I’d never even heard the use of the word nanny for a grandmother until I worked in Liverpool. Nanny was definitely a nursemaid to me, still is.

My own grandparents were granny and grandpa, grandfather and grandma.

When my first grandchild was born, the other grandmother asked me if I’d rather be granny or grandma. I chose Grandma, because I had happy memories of my own grandma, so the other one is Granny. She insisted on giving me first choice. Nobody mentioned nannies.

If you don't like it then the paternal grandmother should respect that. Why would she do this!? If she is Nanna and you are Gran and Grandad there is no reason for your first names to be tagged on . Its non of her business how your GC address you and your husband. You are justified in being angry about this! Your daughter doesn't see a problem- she is more likely trying to keep the peace and I understand that. Your SILs mother is being difficult for no reason.
She has not listened to you , would your husband be able to take her to one side and make it clear how you feel? How your GC address you is your decision and most certainly not hers! Good luck.

In the grand scheme of things this is no big deal - however the big deal is you dont like it and paternal GP should respect that!

Luckygirl3

There are good reasons to go with the flow, top of which for me is that no-one should ever use a child as a pawn in a dispute between adults.

Let it wash by for your sake and theirs.

Indeed. Nothing good will come from argument about names.

It’s nothing to do with what you are called or not called, in my opinion OP, it’s to do with a lack of respect from another adult when you have made it clear that you don’t like it! It’s patronising & I totally understand why you are upset. Is there a paternal grandfather? Could you speak to him about it maybe?

I'd award her some nickname she really doesn't like and use it every single time she misnames you.

I can’t see the big problem. Fashions for naming relatives change. I’m grannie first name then we have nana and grannie with her cats name tagged on. Grandads have their first names tagged on, again three of them
Every family finds its way of naming, the idea of getting wound up about it seems daft to me

Would you reallly all do these things, in front of your grandchildren?
Assuming, that is, that you don't get together for social meetings.

I can understand a possible feeling that the "other gran" is trying to be "top gran" by imposing a name you do not want, and the family don't understand this dynamic - or maybe do - -but "don't want to get involved".

People do act out this kind of stuff is the reality. and if I am bawling up the right tree ...

....and you trying to get others in there family involved and it not working can just make she who wants to be "top gran" more satisfied.

What to do about it is quite another matter.

In my case I know the other gran is sort of top gran in terms of contact with the family - but the person concerned would never ever think about that or do anything spiteful about it.

It's easy to say "rise above it" or "it wouldn't bother me" unless you know the people very very well. but you cant give her the pleasure of thinking it is really bothering you if you can help it.

sorry, typo - I wrote "bawling up the wrong tree" instead of "barking up the wrong tree"

Grandma70s

I’d never even heard the use of the word nanny for a grandmother until I worked in Liverpool. Nanny was definitely a nursemaid to me, still is.

My own grandparents were granny and grandpa, grandfather and grandma.

When my first grandchild was born, the other grandmother asked me if I’d rather be granny or grandma. I chose Grandma, because I had happy memories of my own grandma, so the other one is Granny. She insisted on giving me first choice. Nobody mentioned nannies.

My South London grandmother was Nanny. Our cousins were slightly older, that's what they called her. So we did too.

I refer to DS's MiL as my 'companion' grandmother rather than 'the other' Grandma. She has become a good friend and we are both united in ourlove of our mutual grandchildren (and their parents)

My children called their grandparents granddad then their name and nannie then their name. When my father in law died my dad was just granddad. When we where with them all together nannie then their name so nannie knew who they where talking to etc.

My grandsons call me nannie when its just me . But when with their other nannie they say our name after nannie. My son in laws dad is just grandad . My husband died when he was 47. But when I or my daughter tell the boys stories of him its grandad and his name.

I don't know what the fuss is about . It saves confusion who the boys are talking to or telling stories about.

My brother's children called his mother in law nannie Pete . Pete was the dog they still called her that long after the dog died.

The "fuss" as I see it, is not just that the OP doesn't like the name but that, knowing it's not liked, the person repeatedly using it is not even the child or the mum or dad who you might think might have a say.

The person determined to use it is the other grandmother!

I think we can probably all agree that it's not acceptable behavior if they have been asked not to do it.

Pride goeth before a fall.
Self importance will ruin your life and relationships if you let it.
Be grateful that you have people esp GC who want to see you.

Pride? How is wanting to be called by the name you have chosen (in the same way as the other grandmother) prideful?

It’s a matter of respect, IMO. Not calling someone by their name is very disrespectful, particularly when asked to use the correct one.

I have never been called Grandma , Gran or Grannie ,Nan or Nannie by any of my grandchildren.
Instead I am called by my pet name,which is used by my children.
It doesn't really bother me.

Hi I have dry eyes and use warm eye mask drops etc but have read about Zest procedure used in Boots and Specsavers to clean eyelids . Has anyone tried this and had success?

Smg1950 your post is on a thread discussing what our grandchildren call us, so it is possible that many who could answer your uery will not see it. I suggest you start a new thread. Click on 'Forums' at the top of the pag, click on 'Health' Then click on the orange box saying 'Start a discussion and repost as a new thread.

My children had a Granny (my mother) and a Grandma and Grandpa (his). My grandchildren just naturally had the same so I’m Granny. No one around here says Nanny or Nana.

Honestly, Bunny, I would not get wound up about this. Children grow up. When my GC were born I was known as Granny X and the other grandmother as Granny Y. Once the kids were old enough it just became Granny and Gran. If you ask them to pass you something just use the term without any other names attached. E.g. Pass Gran/Granny the salt please. It will resolve itself.