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Grandparents name issues

(104 Posts)
Bunnny Sat 13-Jun-26 18:50:14

I am really angry and annoyed by this. The partial grandmother keeps referring to us as gran and and grandad and then using our first names on the end. I have asked her not to do this and also told her son to ask her to stop.
She does not listen and so it continues and my daughter says what the problem it’s not such a big issue. But I think it is and we feel it is disrespectful to us both. Now their children are starting to us this and we are having to correct them which I don’t think is fair and also confusing for them. Also she just likes to be known has nanna.

jocork Thu 18-Jun-26 08:36:59

My grandchildren have decided for themselves how to distinguish between us as both of us wanted to be 'Granny'. I did say I would be something else if it was confusing but my son said there would be no problem - we'd be Granny ..(surname). In fact we have become Granny Mac (Mac being the name they call the corresponding grandad - not sure why, but maybe due to miss-hearing his name which is Nick!) and I became Granny Bekah as my DD Bekah, their Auntie, is who they associate with me since in the early days we often visited together! I guess it may change in future but I like the way the children work it out for themselves based on their understanding of the family relationships. Thankfully we all get on really well and are not competitive so everyone is happy.

Calendargirl Thu 18-Jun-26 06:52:23

SaxonGrace

I’m confused by this, are you saying that she calls you for instance Grandma Joan, or Nanna Emily, what do you want to be called. Mr and Mrs Whatever ?

No, I think the OP just wants to be called ‘Grandma’ or whatever, without the Christian name being tacked on.

And it’s more a case of the other GP blatantly ignoring her wishes which is extremely annoying and frankly rude.

Kartush Thu 18-Jun-26 02:32:29

Kids work it out for themselves, one set of grandkids call us granny and grandpa because my husband reminded them of grandpa pig from peppa pig 😂 the other set call us grandma and papa even though we are actually their great grandparents. When referring to my daughter , their actual grandmother they will call her grandma suzy but when talking to her she is just grandma.so much fuss about a name

NotSpaghetti Thu 18-Jun-26 01:33:16

I, like others earlier, assumed "paternal", Mojack

Mojack26 Wed 17-Jun-26 23:51:02

Agree Twiglet7

Mojack26 Wed 17-Jun-26 23:50:20

What is a 'partial' grandparent. I don't see what your problem is, sorry

notgoneyet Wed 17-Jun-26 23:39:30

I have three great grandchildren, the twins are 7, the little one not talking yet.
The boys decided very early on what we should be called - my daughter is called Nanna Car because she drives to see them and takes them out. I'm Nanna Train because I get to them on the train, and their dad's mum is Nanna Seaside - because she lives on the coast. Simple, eh!

twiglet77 Wed 17-Jun-26 23:07:42

Why on earth is it a big deal? I can’t imagine minding what my beloved grandsons call me or their other grandparents and step-grandparents (they’re aged 3.4,5 and 10).

Grandma70s Wed 17-Jun-26 23:03:54

Grandma70s

Ah, there are so any class connotations in the English language. It’s a minefield.

So many, not so any.

Chaitriona Wed 17-Jun-26 21:31:09

My little girl had a Granny Mona and a Granny Jean. She also had a Grandad Eric who lived abroad. But Granny Jean's second husband was always Nigel. He didn't get to be called grandad. Which was significant. She also had great grandparents called Nan and Pop. She once called Pop Charlie and Nan said "You don't get to call him that. He's Pop to you".

Soozikinzi Wed 17-Jun-26 19:39:42

I think its up to you what you would prefer . If she is nana then you can just be gran . If she keeps doing it call her nana name (what ever her name is ) as pp suggested . That'll cure her .

Grandma70s Wed 17-Jun-26 18:29:02

Ah, there are so any class connotations in the English language. It’s a minefield.

Autumncolours Wed 17-Jun-26 18:16:05

We suggested Gran and Grandpa (maternal) and Granny and Grandad (paternal). We thought it would be a clear way of distinguishing them but there was a bit of grumbling as the paternals thought Grandpa was more middle class and weren’t too happy with ‘common’ Grandad. They also insisted that Nan, Nana or Nanny were common and must never be used. They were hyper aware of class and were not happy that I asked if I could use the toilet when I first visited them - answering that I may use the lavatory.

MT62 Wed 17-Jun-26 18:10:56

I got the same Grannie with name tagged on. I said Grannie will do & that’s what I get called.
Mind you my Grannies were called big Grannie & wee Grannie 😂

DeeAitch56 Wed 17-Jun-26 18:00:15

For one set of grandchildren they have a Grampy and a Grandad and two Nannys - a Nanny Jo and a Nanny Dawn, their mum and dad only add the Christian names when differentiating as to which grandmother they are talking about other than that we’re both just Nanny in general conversation, one the odd occasion when the children do add a Christian name I’m not bothered by it nor by the odd slip when they call me mum by mistake
There are more important hills to die on

mokryna Wed 17-Jun-26 17:41:23

With three daughters and 3 sets of DGC , first set with my first name because their other GP chose to be called by theirs, and I thought I would be cool. However, the second set and third set call me Granny, which I feel more comfortable with.
My first set suggested that they could call me granny like the later ones but I decided against it, as I wouldn’t be them after so many years.

WinnieLily Wed 17-Jun-26 17:19:08

My Grans were Red Gran because she had a Red dress and Green Gran because she had a Green gate. I chose the names and they stuck for years, even when my children were born. Neither knew my Red Gran but they knew their Green Great Gran.

chattykathy Wed 17-Jun-26 16:00:47

Sorry, should have said drop the Nanna

chattykathy Wed 17-Jun-26 15:59:29

You have every right to be called whatever you want. The paternal GM is trying to 'other' you, make you sound less important. Have stern words. If that doesn't work just drop the grandma and call her Sue to the DGC, see how she likes it.

AuntieE Wed 17-Jun-26 15:56:31

Some very unfeeling answers here.

We all have a right to be addressed as we please, and the English language has quite a number of designations for grandparents, so it should be possible to sort this matter out IF the grandmother who so rudely has decided what the poster is to be called is told firmly that she is in the wrong.

Failing this, I would make no bones about saying nicely to the grandchild who addressed me in a way I did not like, "no, dear, I am grandma." or whatever your preference is.

SaxonGrace Wed 17-Jun-26 15:48:43

I’m confused by this, are you saying that she calls you for instance Grandma Joan, or Nanna Emily, what do you want to be called. Mr and Mrs Whatever ?

Bazza Wed 17-Jun-26 15:17:53

I was christened Barry by our first grandchild who was attempting to say my Christian name I think. This amused our DD immensely and 20 years on it has stuck. I do get some odd looks though when out with them and they called me. I didn’t particularly want to be a nanny or grandma, so at least it’s different.

missdeke Wed 17-Jun-26 15:13:37

My children have always called their grandparents Nanny or grandad when talking to them but use their names as well when talking about them. All my grandchildren call me nanny, except 2 who call me nanna ( their mum is Dutch) and one who called me bus nanny vecause I once took him on a bus ride. Quite frankly I don't care what they call me as long as they talk to me.

knspol Wed 17-Jun-26 15:12:14

Really don't think this is a problem I've always been known as Grandma X and so has my counterpart. Never bothered either of us.
If it's such a problem for you I would just call her Nanny X and maybe this will make her have a rethink about how she refers to you. I would definitely not correct the children, it's not fair to confuse them or involve them in this ill will.

MissAdventure Wed 17-Jun-26 15:11:39

grin