Have you got to this stage of life ?

It depends on how we want to die. In the UK, it’s possible to have care at home but at a price. In the UK, means testing is a process which can take months as local authorities are badly resourced to handle the volume of forms.
Even a moderate contribution to care at home results in bills being paid every 4 weeks so all income can be wiped out for a month with 2 payments.
Plus of course the concept of tax in advance so it’s a real minefield trying to budget for the very elderly in the UK.

I had, a rather substantial sum of money for holidays, meals out etc.
A couple of years ago, I idiotically handed it all over to spammers. The financial ombudsman decided it was all my fault, the bank behaved impeccably…
So now, I’m managing on my pension with enough not to struggle, but I feel rather like a student, watching (almost) every penny. It can be very tiresome.
What will happen when I need a care home, goodness knows?

If you need a carehome grandMattie, you will get one, whether you have savings or not.

It might not be the one you would choose if you were paying yourself, but you won’t be on the streets.

We are not rich, but if future care is needed for DH or myself (or both) of us, I know full well we shall be funding it ourselves.

So yes, after years of working, saving, being ‘careful’ with our money, I now think if we would like something and can afford it, why not?

We visited family in Australia last year after not going for several years, and we flew business class. Expensive, but worth it.

DH changed his vehicle for one he really liked, not brand new, but more than we usually pay.

Things like this, just don’t see the point of doing without now we are in our 70’s.

I've lived on the breadline for years and managed by not having a car or holidays or treats, but it's been fine because living in Cornwall is a daily joy in so many ways anyway. The beaches are free. However, a strange turn of events means I now have some extra funds so I can afford to take trains to places, go to the cinema and buy decent shoes and M&S salmon. 😂

I am minded of the phrase there are no pockets in a shroud

I don't have an extravagant lifestyle and I like to help my family with money which is my pleasure.
I live in a lovely countryside area so I enjoy walking in the hills.
I have savings but don't worry too much about the future. I would pay if I needed a care home.
I will buy myself things I want or need without thinking of the cost now. At nearly 80 it's really not worth it to me to worry about money.

I reached that stage after I became a widow, luckily it was transient and then I returned to common sense. I gave to four charities, gave good amounts to my AC, went on a saga cruise

After that stage I returned to reality, I had no other way to earn extra money and getting old requires differences in food, living, help. I am not at those stages but I can see me living a long time so I need to make sure I have the resources for that and meantime I prep however I can,

I am not frugal, I am generous but careful. I have several lovely hobbies and have plenty of stash for my homely hobbies ie sewing, knitting, spinning. I cook from scratch from choice, we are what we eat, have done since the year dot. I grow veg and flowers, organically and am very happy in my skin

I treated myself to the best equipment for my hobbies and for bread-making, just one-off purchases but I do sleep on my decision first. I treated myself to a lovely new house, my biggest spend but that is the cocoon that surrounds me and makes my life cosy, it accommodates all my hobbies as well as fitness in winter and with room for guests

I won`t be splurging on anything else and will continue as I am. It would be different if I was not widowed but we did go on some lovely holidays while we could, now it is all about safeguarding my own future

I make sure I am comfortable i.e. clothes that fit, shoes that I can walk in, a bed I can lie on, and a chair I can sit it. Taps. toilets, showers, etc that work. Those are my priorities.

I know exactly what you mean * nanna8* and if the money is there then why not spend some on yourself and not cast around for bargains?

I surrendered my licence last year, applied for and got Attendance Allowance which I had intended to use on taxis but with difficulty I reached the bus stop,

One cold, dreich day I wondered why am I doing this so now most short journeys I go by mini cab. I live in London, and it costs £7 to go to the nearest town to meet friends for coffee. Being Scottish doesn't leave me!

DHs Attendance Allowance pays for companion care which allows me time away from home to recharge my caring batteries.
It also gives DH a change of conversation. It took a little while to come to terms with paying for what seems so little, but in fact is a lot.

And no towbar on a hearse!

I've got to the stage where I don't say yes to things I don't want to do anymore or tolerate being aroud negative folk.
I've got to the stage where I know what colours & styles suit and don't worry about trends and -
I've got to the stage of knowing what brings joy and how to prioritise it.
Sometimes these things envolve money, often not but I this is what freedom looks like to me

My mother was very frugal as I was growing up, dad was a miner so his wages weren't big and she had to watch every penny. I suppose that has rubbed off on me.
I've never splurged on expensive clothes, food, holidays etc, always in the back of my mind was the nagging premise that I should save for my old age and comfort in retirement.
But at the end of the day, I've realised that I've been denying myself the little luxuries that I've earned and should be enjoying now while I can. It's no good having a nest egg only to potentially end up giving it all to a care home.
I gave myself a talking to and decided to stop being like my mother, who didn't have the choice I do, and start living for the day. I've secured my children's inheritance, so now if I need something or even if I don't, I'm going to buy it and enjoy it. As someone up thread said, 'there are no pockets in shrouds'

I absolutely agree with you 100%!

Take more photos and post them all on social media -those who are on there - or print them out and put them on a pinboard - I do both.

I make sure I have enough of the essentials, food/liquids, clothing, money for rent, my car, etc., but other than that, that Magnum ice lolly and a bottle of Thatchers Cider look delicious, so I'm having them!

OMG! That t-shirt is £40.00 - mine!

Ages ago, I bought from Robo Pets: Percy Kitten 1.1 Black and White, £104.99, Luxurious Handmade Black & White Cat Backpack, £64.99, and Buddy - Robotic Companion Puppy for £105.99. So, £275.97 well spent. I love them. I can't take my babies with me when I die, so I'm having them while I'm alive and kicking!

If you want something and if you can afford it, go for it!

keepcalmandcavachon

I've got to the stage where I don't say yes to things I don't want to do anymore or tolerate being aroud negative folk.
I've got to the stage where I know what colours & styles suit and don't worry about trends and -
I've got to the stage of knowing what brings joy and how to prioritise it.
Sometimes these things envolve money, often not but I this is what freedom looks like to me

Totally agree with you.

Went to a local hardware shop yesterday after a trip to the dentist and bought a couple of cheap plants from their limited collection; a fern and a lavender. They’re currently on my potting bench outside the kitchen window and it makes me so happy just looking at them and deciding where to plant them.

GrannyGravy13

I am minded of the phrase ^there are no pockets in a shroud^

My MiL used to say of her sister in law (very well off but exceedingly miserly aunt of dh and his brothers), ‘Don’t expect anything there - she’ll find a way to take it with her!’

I just wish we had spent more on ourselves and enjoyed doing the things we thought were too costly because now my DH has had a massive stroke and I am his full time carer. Of course we did enjoy life and travelled etc., but we always held back on some things that we really wanted to do.
So a word from the wise, if you are still able to enjoy the good things in life and have the money to do so, don’t wait, it is later than you think.

Fallingstar

Good advice Fallingstar. Some members of our family seem to think we should stay home and not take what they see as ‘risks’ in travelling etc but you only live once and when they are older perhaps they would see things through a different lens.

I inherited a reasonable amount when my mother died but still find my frugal self making me feel guilty when I spend money! I’ve spent my life working hard and being careful with money so am managing to change my mindset a bit.
I’ve ring-fenced a chunk of my savings and the rest is for what I see as luxuries (but which perhaps aren’t.) A nice break in a luxury hotel with my daughter and buying good quality clothing and cosmetics. Also lots of coffees out!
I’m bloody worth it I tell you 🤣

I like your style nana!
I try to think like that but frugal me wins.

I am in the process of selling my house and part of me thinks I won't buy another but rather rent somewhere fairly cheaply and free up cash to travel or to spend on the family.

gMattie's. cautionary tale looms large. 😯

About care homes; my DM hated the idea and in the end she died very quickly in her 90s and never needed one but she dreaded the thought of having to listen to pop music or watch soaps all day.
Her friend reminded her that by the time she was at that stage, she wouldn't know or care!

Yes , spending the kids inheritance or avoiding IHT is a good excuse for staying in 5* hotels on our few trips and shopping in M and S or Waitrose as well as Aldi.