Where does being a good neighbour start or stop?

I had this at Christmas, a relatively new neighbour hurt their neck, and needed straws, problems drinking, I said I’d get some, and with a struggle, I did.. I’m very rocky on my feet, with back problems. Another two neighbours were demanding to know whether I’d seen her that day, one in particular I felt was a bit aggressive. I’m not my neighbours keeper, it’s all I can do to function myself!

It is not your responsibility to help out neighbours, it's up to the couple's family and the other bossy neighbour needs to mind her own business.

You are definitely not BU. The bossy neighbour may actually be undermining the daughter’s efforts to get this couple to accept/pay for the help they need. No doubt there will be a crisis at some point and they will have no choice.

I really have no patience with people who don’t take responsibility for themselves and think it’s fine for other people to do things for them they could be paying for.

Give them an inch and they’ll take a yard, it’s human nature.

I think you said the right thing, you cannot take on the responsibility of your neighbour.

Stick to your guns on this one. Once you start helping others, they will think you are always available. Quite frankly, if this couple cannot manage without outside help, they need to go into a care home.

Thank you very much everyone for your great advice. Fate has had a hand in this, too. I went to see my GP yesterday about pains I have been having and I have been diagnosed with an aging affliction which means I can't carry heavy loads or bags anymore so will need help myself. I have been told I need rest and to sit and do physio too so if anyone approaches me again, I will just tell them of my latest affliction.

SpinDriftCoastal

Thank you very much everyone for your great advice. Fate has had a hand in this, too. I went to see my GP yesterday about pains I have been having and I have been diagnosed with an aging affliction which means I can't carry heavy loads or bags anymore so will need help myself. I have been told I need rest and to sit and do physio too so if anyone approaches me again, I will just tell them of my latest affliction.

Time to take care of yourself now SpinDriftCoastal

Perhaps your other neighbour, the bossy one, will help you or try to organise others to!

Don't be blackmailed by fake images of how neighbours cared for each other in the past- it's all tosh.

People like this are very frustrating and difficult to deal with because I know some of them.

You can't look after others until you care for yourself first.

It is the family's responsibility and not yours.

You sound like an excellent neighbour- it sounds like they are very bad ones!

You are not being unreasonable. Show willing to do the one off things that you easily do. You might end up needing the help that the neighbour wants this couple to have. So show goodwill and chip in as you are able. I know it's easy to bash the bossy woman but I have found that such people usually do practise what they preach and can really help out in a dire situation. X

Good news all around! The difficult medical situation the neighbours are in is finally being resolved by Social Services who have had to step in via daughter and now son in law on scene. Can't say too much but they don't have a choice anymore as matters are now at a critical point. Of course, I will always be there in an emergency as I have been in the past but perhaps in the long run it is best for family to sort it out and they do have quite a few family members who are now stepping up.

That's good news all round. It's good that they'll finally get the help and support that they need and that you won't feel under pressure from your other neighbour.

Good news OP. You can now relax.