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Bittersweet moments

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traveller61 Tue 20-Oct-26 07:08:57

How do I cope! My oldest & probably closest AC, emigrated to Canada about 7 yrs ago to eventually marry his Canadian girlfriend, all her family out there. Went to their wedding, 2 yrs later my little GS was born, we both have visited many times. I got over these moments which I call bittersweet because I’ve been so happy for them but each time it hits me like a ton of bricks because the reality is I’m from UK and cannot be this hands on grandma I so wish to be. I now have got used to it now, I do have another GS locally (thank goodness too), to pour all my grandma energy into. But now I’ve just been hit with another bittersweet moment that baby No 2 is due in Canada! Of course I am giddy with excitement but now again have the reality of the distance between us. I will process this in my own time as like I’ve done before, but don’t know how many more bittersweet moments I can go through. I do have an active life, I still work 2 days, have an amazing DH, we go out a lot - we do like our live music, shows, cinema & out in general. But the biggest hurdle of all is not having the everyday moments with son and grandchild so far away. Anyone been through this?

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BlueBelle Tue 20-Oct-26 07:35:56

My son went to NZ to set up life there with his ‘to be ‘ wife when he was in his mid twenties My first grandchild was born there and then my fourth I didn’t have the money to visit too much although I have been a few times and they here. I have five other grandchildren Three in Ireland one who spent the last three years in Australia (but is coming home next month and guess who she’s visiting first) Then two who started out in Europe but ended up growing up back near me, but now they are working in Denmark and Northern England

Life is ever moving, ever changing and we have to adapt

Of course I ve cried many tears over time ( mostly in the shower) but you wipe them away and get on with it

Life is very hard, My friend has children nearby but they chose to have little to do with her She was a lovely Mum

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Sarnia Tue 20-Oct-26 07:45:36

One of my GD's went travelling for a year, arrived in Australia and that's where she has stayed.
She has work, her own apartment and has applied for citizenship and is as happy as a sand boy so she won't be coming back to the UK.
I have a fear of flying so won't be able to go there to see her.
I have to make do with Facetime, texts and phone calls. In time she will likely meet someone and have a family, my GGC which I won't be a part of.
The thing is, this is her life. It's what she has chosen for herself. Gone are the days when families lived within easy reach. Many are facing the same dilemma of distance between loved ones.
The bottom line is you can't have the everyday contact with your Canadian based family and if you moved there then you wouldn't have the everyday contact with your UK based family.
Keep in touch as much as possible with visits, screen time and messages. That's all you can do, really.

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Aveline Tue 20-Oct-26 07:54:42

Sarnia fear of flying can be overcome. Surely the lure of seeing your DGD would be a major inducement? This is something you can do.

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