Am I Jealous or is this normal?

Do you remember the film 'Fiddler on the Roof'? The father's expectations regarding his daughters' marriages changed with each successive relationship. Even with the daughter's marriage he thought he couldn't accept, he relented at the end. Your MiL has had her battle and found out it was all for nothing. Or perhaps DH's brother is not the favourite child? . In any case make friends your new SiL and let the past lie. Your MiL needs to address her own conscience - perhaps that is what she is doing this time around.

yes you have broken the nould and all that, but it is quite understandable that your mental scars are itching . I listened too much to my mother in law around the wedding time, she managed to block perfectly reasonable things, and subsequently tried to dictate the children's baptisms. If you can strengthen yourself and stop her doing similar to you again am sure this will help. It took me too long to grow a backbone. One thing that I am determined though is should my children ever decide to marry, I will help if I can but will not interfere. In my experience keeping feelings buried inside isn;t healthy, they will come out eventually. Far better to confront them and deal with them. It's probably not jealousy, afer all whoo would wish such treatment on someone else, but anger at how your wishes were overridden, You will always wish it had not been as it was, but you can acknowledge the hurt and anger that you had to swallow. Talk to friends, , anyone who'll listen, a counsellor if you can manage to find one. Maybe you'll get to the stage where you can let your mil know how you felt, maybe after the wedding, you know if that might be a good idea. She may appreciate the chance to make amends and apologise, and that would likely help your relationship

Sounds to me as if she learnt a valuable lesson in the way she dealt with you and her son? Good. Don't agree with people pushing their religious or political beliefs on other people. Just be happy that your experience with her paved the way for others.

So understand why this upsets you, Friday! Please congratulate yourself, though, on having smoothed the way for your SisIL2B! Also, I agree that the loss of MIL's mum may have softened her (reminded her of what's important) - and maybe the birth of your LO, too. She may realize now that BIL's marriage may lead to more GC and this may mean more to her than any wedding ceremony. I agree w/ others, too, that you and DH should take away the following from this - no need to cater to MIL's wishes for your lives/religious choices.

It’s more likely she likes bil better than dh and that’s why she’s so eager to accept his new bride. My guess there is a pattern there between the brothers. I’d be wary of what wil happen when the new couple has children.

Back again! I find new reasons to be angry with DH n in laws as the wedding saga n preparations progress. I just cannot contain my resentment for their interference not just at the wedding but also throughout the duration of our marriage so far. And already there are numerous incidents of how BIL is making independent decisions (and so he should!) and everyone is playing happy families. And i am sat in the corner privately seething. Had myself a private pity party earlier. I am so tired of feeling this way. I am livid at dh for being such a walk over and never standing up for us and sacrificing our wants for the sake of his family. I feel like a mug.

Just let it go, why harbour so much resentment for what's gone. No one had a gun to your head when you married,you needn't have gone along with it, but you did. You have a happy marriage, your mil has learnt she needed to change. Let the couple enjoy their wedding their way, don't spoil it for them. Your mil has lost her husband, that is so hard, she needs support, it obviously has made her focus on just what is important.

Honestly? I would get some counselling. I had some to deal with my MIL (accidentally - it was meant to be about another issue but turned out MIL was more of a problem). It’s been incredibly helpful - we’ll never be best of friends but it has helped me let go of what was said & to establish some boundaries (not religion related but similar sorts of things about controlling how things are done). And as a result we get on a lot better as well. I think the counselling just helped me care less about her opinion of me, so I stopped trying - and bizarrely that seems to have helped the relationship between us

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