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Grandparenting

Enslaved grandparent syndrome

(83 Posts)
M0nica Thu 02-Jul-26 09:25:21

Enslaved grandparent syndrome’ is a term coined by Spanish psychologists to describe the widespread expectation that grandparents will provide childcare to their grandchildren, and the feelings of overwhelm, exploitation and general burnout that some feel as a result. It’s not a formal diagnosis, of course, but some are arguing that it can lead to real implications on physical and mental health.

We see quite a lot of this in threads on GN.

NotSpaghetti Sat 04-Jul-26 09:34:19

I think, MawsRosie that all of us love playing an active part in our grandchildren’s lives - what people DON'T love is the involvement to the point of exclusion of everything else under threat of having nothing at all.

The "put upon" and the "estranged" could be one and the same - that is a real fear for some

Joanofarc99 Sat 04-Jul-26 09:50:37

If I didn't want to look after my grandchildren I'd just say no...even under threat of estrangement...I won't be bullied by anyone, even ny own offspring!
I loved the time I spent with my own grandparents, such a close bond. I want that with my grandchildren too if possible. I love looking after them. Of course so far luckily I'm fit enough to do so. If that was to change and I felt it exhausting I would reduce or stop . And of course if anyone does it but they feel resentment as it's too much or they don't particularly like it , that's another reason to stop and use the time to do something you prefer.
Definitely not enslavement you do have a choice !

MissAdventure Sat 04-Jul-26 10:54:12

It depends on the family dynamics, I guess.
Some people seem to have never said the word No to their offspring.

MawsRosie Sat 04-Jul-26 11:11:38

“Emotive language - perhaps aggravated by translation?
I find it unnecessarily sensationalist.

MrsMatt Sat 04-Jul-26 11:24:08

When my first was born, 1987, my mum was 48 years old and worked full time. Two more followed 1990 and 1994.

It was never an expectation that mum would provide childcare at all. Don't get me wrong, they all got Nanny time, which she and they enjoyed greatly.

She and my Stepdad had a caravan near the beach that they would go to almost every weekend. 9 times out of 10 they were accompanied by two Grandchildren. My Step sister had a son so it was always split evenly.

I am 67 and still work part time, but even my offspring know that I would willingly look after any Grandchildren occassionally but not full time. Not sure I would have the patience now anyway.

ViceVersa Sat 04-Jul-26 12:20:47

NotSpaghetti

I think, MawsRosie that all of us love playing an active part in our grandchildren’s lives - what people DON'T love is the involvement to the point of exclusion of everything else under threat of having nothing at all.

The "put upon" and the "estranged" could be one and the same - that is a real fear for some

That's it in a nutshell. We still have our GS at least once a week - but it's a very different scenario when you are doing it through choice, and not through necessity. And no, joanorarc99, sometimes you really don't have a choice. We certainly didn't, as I think I made clear from previous posts.

Norah Sat 04-Jul-26 12:29:41

MissAdventure

It depends on the family dynamics, I guess.
Some people seem to have never said the word No to their offspring.

Interesting thinking to those children being raised up.

Ours certainly heard and understand NO.