In pursuit of that elusive thing ...happiness !

Well I think happiness is quite a fleeting thing and what most people really aspire to is contentment. Happiness is that sudden rush of pleasure when you feel almost ecstatic but it would be quite tiring to be on that sort of high all the time.

Contentment is much more of a pleasant every day emotion and probably has a close link with the "glass half full" way of looking at things. Counting your blessings and being grateful for the good things in your life is another link.

There are obviously times when the difficult or bad things in life may outweigh the good and that's when you need support.

It all depend how you define it of course and some people may think I have described happiness rather than contentment in my second paragraph but I do think there is a difference and that happiness is like a sweet treat, enjoyed and savoured in small doses.

Gagagran has expressed how I feel too. Very well put. Its so sad that others seem to lead less satisfying lives or to feel such a sad hopelessness. This is for them . PS this is genuine. I'm really sorry to hear the sad outpourings on that other thread.

Health plays a big part I think - hard to be happy when you are unwell. Most people rise above it and take it on the chin but happiness is more than that.

You've hit the nail on the head Gagagran contentment is what we should aspire to. Moments of joy and happiness are generally fleeting and are all too often counterbalanced with moments of stress and worry.

Find contentment in the small things you enjoy doing, reading a good book, going for a long walk, pottering in the garden.

I know very few people who spend their lives in a state of perpetual happiness.

Don't you just love it when you are not doing anything in particular, but a great wave of happiness washes over you? . That I think is contentment.
I believe in the words of that song from ' Carousel' When you walk through a storm, hold your head up high
So far that has been my experience. Perhaps I have been lucky . Who knows?

Very true Gaga

Also, happiness/contentment is about taking pleasure in all the little things not wanting some big, life changing event. Lots of small things add up. A phone call from a friend, the smell of the roses we planted, that 'hello nana', a meal cooked by someone else, a unasked-for cuddle, a bargain found in a shop, a favourite TV programme, those mentioned above by Linsco

It's the small pleasures that made life worth living I agree.

I am a happy and contented person. Your post nannaandgrampy reminded me of the verse of a hymn.
"I am content with what I have,
Little be it or much,
And, Lord, contentment still I crave,
Because thou safest such".
A Nursing Home manager once asked me why I was always so happy, and what came out of my mouth surprised me as much as it did her, I said, "because I love God".
I have never professed my faith to anyone in such a way. I usually keep it to myself. I have no idea why I said it, but after that I didn't get a Sunday off for ten weeks!
By the way, I don't go to Church now as I became disillusioned with the whole religion thing, but I still have happiness in bucket loads.

I think you're right GagaGran , maybe I'm content . And Luckygirl you made a good point health is important .

I definitely agree that it's the small stuff that makes me happy.

I read a book called 'chicken soup for the soul' a long time ago and pretty much the only thing I took away from it was 'don't sweat the small stuff' . It's something I nagged Grampy about for years till he 'got it' . You can't fight every battle, so pick those you can win and don't worry about the others.

I, like Jane10 send a ?????to those who are struggling with unhappiness.

The original post strikes me as being very similar to the thread titled "Taking control of your own health", and look at the reception that got.

Happiness is down to luck.

Well said jingl I've never been a particularly happy person and have always tried to 'be happier' or 'be grateful' (which I am. Much of my life, including my childhood, has been pretty awful. I am VERY grateful for what I've got but unfortunately past traumas have taken their toll. As you say down to luck.

I think some happiness with life is down to luck, but some results from the decisions we make through life's journey.

I didn't read that thread Jingl so can't say about similarities .

But I don't think happiness is down to luck, I do think it's down to the choices we make though .

I don't know about luck. The past few years haven't exactly been lucky for myself and family, but I still try to be happy by appreciating the little things in life and taking one day at a time.

I feel for people who are unhappy for whatever reason - it is sometimes very overwhelming trying to pull yourself out of it.

I agree with .jingle, there are times I have known deep unhappiness , not my choice , not my decisions . I am coping with unhappiness now, not my choice and not from any decisions I made

I agree with you Annie Most of my unhappiness has been caused by outside influences. for you.

I quite agree about luck. I've had some very bad luck but also some very good luck. Unexpected chances have appeared which I have taken and led on to other things. I might not have.
Its important to recognise the good moments when you are actually in them rather than looking back at them. Although its lovely to have happy memories too. Och. Am wittering. Sorry!

I agree Jane, enjoy them as they come

Don't think it's much like that other thread. Sometimes bad things happen to good people and some knocks are almost impossible to recover from. But that can go side by side with seeing happiness in small things.

Just because the worst thing that can ever happen to you has actually happened doesn't mean you will never smile or laugh again.

GaGa I also think that what we seek and most enjoy, is contentment. I've experienced deep rooted sadness and loneliness. What I know to be true is, that such periods of heartache can be endured. In time, what has been accepted also serves to strengthen one's resolve. I sympathise with all those who are deeply unhappy. I wish you peace of mind.

Yes, contentment is the thing to aim for, not happiness, which really is fleeting.
Luckily for me, am very optimistic which without doing anything, already lifts you up, but I do have a very pessimistic friend, who over many years has allowed negativity to rule her life ( and her life is a pleasant one!)I do really appreciate small things ( which is just as well, as I am not going to get the big things.)

Sorry, should have explained further , I think it's decisions made, not necessarily by us. Life's rich tapestry and all that .

We were having that conversation after the last big Euromillions lottery -you know the 'what would you do if you had won it' one -I couldn't think what I actually wanted that I didn't already have. Maybe I couldn't let myself aspire to more than I already have but it did really underline that right now ( and not necessarily always) I am content and enjoy the odd burst of just happiness. That's good enough for me!
I did think I'd send Anniebach some money for her homeless project if I won (among other charitable stuff that would be a pleasure to do) However as I don't actually do the lottery I can't count on winning.

I like your thoughts on happiness Anya. I had a life changing event earlier this year with the loss of my husband. With the sadness that will always be with me I believe I will also carry on being the happy person I am and the happy wife he had. Most days I find something to chuckle about out loud......often my own stupidity over something! ?

Maybe it's a genetic thing.