In pursuit of that elusive thing ...happiness !

Synonymous, I just wrote a long post thanking you for your kindness and it disappeared!

Ana, my question about loneliness wasn't just about my own situation. Thanks for embarrassing me. It seems to be a bit of a taboo subject anyway.

I think loneliness but be very hard wot .

It isn't something I've really experienced so I'm not sure I have any wise words for you. Except maybe taking some pleasure in your own company. It sounds horrible to be alone in a couple . Probably worse than just being alone.

I enjoy some simple things that make me happy .... Is there something that you do that does give you some happiness or contentment, perhaps build on that if there is?

Loneliness is a major trigger for depression. I was told that interestingly primarily in teenage and older people. It can feel almost unbearable and yes, can get in the way of a general sense of happiness. It can only be hoped that lonely people can find pleasure in small things and forget negatives for a while. I do sometimes feel lonely, it was the major impetus to join GN, I'm lucky that it isn't a constant feeling and home is not necessarily a negative place. So sorry for your situation wot, loneliness is even harder to bear with constant undermining. I hope you can sometimes find happiness in small things. I'm not at all sure it's possible for anyone to be happy all the time, but it's not unreasonable to seek out things that do make us happy. I've just been watching the birds, it's enough for this moment to trigger the sense of wellbeing I associate with happiness. Yesterday it was sitting in the sun watching the waves. Small things but important.

Just logged in to follow this thread again. Thank you Cheerfullizzy that was really kind what you said about my post I'm touched. On a general note I do think loneliness is difficult for people not to be confused with being ok with your own company. I do feel I am lucky now worth family so near and feel blessed. Sending everyone good wishes

With not worth damn spellcheck

Oh God. My post has just disappeared again. Ill try again. Thank you corner cornergran and nana . I do enjoy my only company but not to excess! It's true that it can be lonier in a couple because one's not free to meet others. I've always been one to try to fix relationships which are probably no good. I've committed to looking after him so it's my own fault. At least my conscience will be clear. I hope.

Spell check more trouble than it's worth!

Isn't it all down to luck in the end. The birth lottery is much talked about and doesn't always lead to happiness but born into a good balanced family who cares about you and loves you is such a good start in life and we hear on the news about others who did not have that good fortune.

I an basically happy and contented because my personal life has gone well and I am moderately healthy and well off.
But the news and the rufugees and the bombing etc has me often in tears. Compared to what we hear about on a daily basis I think wondering whether we are happy is just a luxury.

I often thought that boredom is a luxury......we wouldn't be bored if we were hungry o in fear of our lives!

My idea of happiness is

My family ALL well and untroubled
DH pootling about
Me coping with Polymyalgia
My legs working
My grandsons' laughter
Grateful for everything I have
Hoping for another 20 years on this earth (69 now)

wot You are so right.

Boredom is a state of mind.

Which one couldn't be in unless their basic needs where met?

Not meaning to sound like a know all ! ?

I am not sure that is true. I accept that if you were living in Aleppo, boredom is a luxury but even then - sitting in the dark, no electricity food or water and unable to do anything to get them. sitting there hour after hour, day after day, must induce a state of, quite literally, terminal boredom.

I don't think I'd thought it through properly. I suppose if one was living an ordinary sort of life, the boredom wouldn't kick in if one was very worried about something like illness or financial problems. Myself, I always find something to worry about; if I don't worry I might forget something important I should be worrying about! Bit of a mess, me.

Just an angst ridden person I spose.?

When I was younger I thought that by the time you were in your 60's you'd have found happiness and contentment. I thought you'd have learnt all life's hard lessons and settled down and learnt to accept things as they are and move towards a worry free retirement just pottering about.....I got that wrong. I can remember sitting in my MiL kitchen and asking her if I was right about it. She told me that it wasn't like that because she worried about coming to the end of her life and dying (she always worried about dying but that's for another thread!) she 86 now and still alive and kicking, albeit miserably. She wasted those years and all that energy worrying about somthing that was decades away. So perhaps we just need to be grateful for the things we've got today and look for those small things that make us fleetingly happy. There are so many images of what we think is happiness. Advertisers are constantly promising us happiness if we would just buy their products is it any wonder a lot of us feel we never quite grasp it. bugger I'm over thinking this and getting maudlin. I'm getting up and taking the dog for a walk. A cold nose, a wagging tail, the early mist in the orchard will be my dose of happiness today, until I come back to my house and face the mess created by four children under four and said dog yesterday. ( couldn't be arsedbothered to do yesterday evening. Serves me right. If only I was a bit more perfect I'm sure I'd find happiness.

Lovely, thought provoking post, more than ?

Pursuing happiness is not the way to catch it. It happens when you are busy doing something else.

Absolutely!