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My husband died

(73 Posts)
tingaloo Thu 18-Feb-16 13:26:26

This is really an update for all those lovely gransnetters who supported me during difficult times in November and December. My husband moved into a Nursing Home on December 31, and with a few hiccups, settled in. I chose one near to home and visited him once or twice a day. Last Saturday morning I received a call while I was loading my shoping in Sainsbury's car park, to say that he had stopped breathing and was receiving CPR. I don't know how I managed the drive from Sainsbury's to the Home, but when I got there he was breathing but fairly unresponsive. However in the resus department on a huge dose of oxygen, he started to come round, smiled and said he was fine. The staff said they had only seen a recovery like this a few times. However he began to get worse, and I was prepared for his death. My daughters (his stepdaughters) and I spent the rest of the day with him, and I was given a campbed beside him for the night. He sank further the next day, but was so brave, the poor darling. His son managed to get to the hospital by late afternoon, and my darling husband died very peacefully not long after midnight with his so and I on either side of him stroking him. His poor lungs just couldn't cope any more. He has to have an autopsy to confirm that it was asbestos that caused his pulmonary fibrosis. I am glad that he did not live long enough for his dementia to progress any further. I have not really started grieving yet because I cannot really take it in he is actually gone, and it just feels like another step in his sad decline over the last couple of years, and particularly the last few months.

whitewave Thu 18-Feb-16 13:31:13

Oh ting please take my heartfelt condolences.

rosesarered Thu 18-Feb-16 13:31:43

So sorry tingaloo. Your DH died with his family around him, while still knowing who they were, and peacefully too, that has got to be worth something.Take care of yourself.?

Synonymous Thu 18-Feb-16 13:32:37

tingalo so very sorry for your loss. flowers
Just give yourself plenty of time to come to terms with everything and accept any help offered. There will be more sunshine along the road even though it all seems so hard at the moment. ((hugs))

Ceesnan Thu 18-Feb-16 13:33:09

I'm so sorry for your loss. i hope you can take comfort from the fact that he was spared the worst of dementia flowers

Welshwife Thu 18-Feb-16 13:36:03

flowers. X x

Indinana Thu 18-Feb-16 13:37:58

I'm so sorry to read of your dear husband's death tingaloo. How lovely, though, that you got there in time and he briefly came round and knew you were there with him. That must be such a comfort to you. flowers

annsixty Thu 18-Feb-16 13:38:05

So sorry tingaloo my sincere condolences. flowers
Look after yourself and keep talking to us.

Alea Thu 18-Feb-16 13:43:01

I too send my sincerest condolences flowers
I hope you and the rest of the family can gain some comfort from being with him at the end. To pass away peacefully in the arms of those we love best is not always granted to us.
I hope your family and friends can bear you up during this hard time.
flowers

Badenkate Thu 18-Feb-16 13:45:23

So sorry to hear of your loss flowers. So good to hear that his family was with him, and that he knew you before the end. My sympathies with you and your family

Heirofthedog Thu 18-Feb-16 13:50:33

So sorry for you loss ting. You sound as if you have been so strong during what must have been a terribly tough time. I do hope you have lots of people nearby to support you but if you ever need to talk, we are always here too. flowers

boheminan Thu 18-Feb-16 13:53:10

flowers. Everyone on here has said what I'd like to say, so I send my condolences and a bunch of forget-me-nots...

Charleygirl Thu 18-Feb-16 13:56:58

So sorry- please look after yourself.

gillybob Thu 18-Feb-16 13:58:47

So sorry to hear of the loss of your dear husband tingaloo flowers

loopylou Thu 18-Feb-16 14:25:57

So sorry to read this tingaloo, very much thinking of you flowers and ((hugs)) x

grannyactivist Thu 18-Feb-16 14:29:31

tingaloo it doesn't seem to matter how prepared you think you are, it's still a shock isn't it? Sending you and your family condolences on your loss. flowers

Luckygirl Thu 18-Feb-16 14:32:02

Sending kind thoughts to you all. flowers

bikergran Thu 18-Feb-16 14:42:45

kind thoughts to you and your family

Bellanonna Thu 18-Feb-16 15:32:09

tingaloo. How sad. But I'm so happy you were there with him when he rallied for a while. X

kittylester Thu 18-Feb-16 15:34:48

Sorry to hear your news. flowers

Imperfect27 Thu 18-Feb-16 15:38:15

So sorry for your loss. Sincere condolences flowers.

NanaandGrampy Thu 18-Feb-16 15:48:45

I'm so sorry for your loss. flowers

seacliff Thu 18-Feb-16 15:50:57

How sad for you Tingaloo, must be hard to come to terms with, even though your poor husband was very ill. Thank goodness you and his son had that time with him. Condolences to you and all the family, what a horrible time for you.

shysal Thu 18-Feb-16 16:16:14

How sad for you. It seems he waited until he was with those he loved. flowers

tanith Thu 18-Feb-16 16:18:52

So sorry for you loss Tingaloo Condolences to you and your family.