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My husband died

(74 Posts)
tingaloo Thu 18-Feb-16 13:26:26

This is really an update for all those lovely gransnetters who supported me during difficult times in November and December. My husband moved into a Nursing Home on December 31, and with a few hiccups, settled in. I chose one near to home and visited him once or twice a day. Last Saturday morning I received a call while I was loading my shoping in Sainsbury's car park, to say that he had stopped breathing and was receiving CPR. I don't know how I managed the drive from Sainsbury's to the Home, but when I got there he was breathing but fairly unresponsive. However in the resus department on a huge dose of oxygen, he started to come round, smiled and said he was fine. The staff said they had only seen a recovery like this a few times. However he began to get worse, and I was prepared for his death. My daughters (his stepdaughters) and I spent the rest of the day with him, and I was given a campbed beside him for the night. He sank further the next day, but was so brave, the poor darling. His son managed to get to the hospital by late afternoon, and my darling husband died very peacefully not long after midnight with his so and I on either side of him stroking him. His poor lungs just couldn't cope any more. He has to have an autopsy to confirm that it was asbestos that caused his pulmonary fibrosis. I am glad that he did not live long enough for his dementia to progress any further. I have not really started grieving yet because I cannot really take it in he is actually gone, and it just feels like another step in his sad decline over the last couple of years, and particularly the last few months.

Lona Thu 18-Feb-16 20:34:22

willsmadnan flowers so sorry for your loss too.

cornergran Thu 18-Feb-16 20:42:55

Ting and Willsmadnan so sorry for the losses you have shared. flowers

Treebee Thu 18-Feb-16 20:49:39

So sorry to read this, my condolences.

Judthepud2 Thu 18-Feb-16 21:34:56

So sorry to hear about the loss of your dear husbands Ting and Willsmadnan. My thoughts are with you at this sad time for you both.

janeainsworth Thu 18-Feb-16 21:43:46

Thinking of you both Tingaloo and Willsmadnan flowers

Eloethan Thu 18-Feb-16 22:26:57

tingaloo Condolences to you and your family.

harrigran Thu 18-Feb-16 22:48:53

So sorry to hear the sad news tingaloo flowers

glassortwo Thu 18-Feb-16 22:54:02

Thinking of you both Tingaloo and Willsmadnan flowers

SueDonim Thu 18-Feb-16 23:34:41

I'm so sorry, Tingaloo. Also, Willsmadnan. Thinking of you both. flowers

WilmaKnickersfit Thu 18-Feb-16 23:39:34

My condolences to you too Willsmadnan flowers

tingaloo Fri 19-Feb-16 07:35:55

So sorry, willsmadnan, it is a hard time for us both. And a huge thank you to everyone for your support and condolences. My husband was a one-off, lovable and infuriating at the same time. We had so many adventures together, as well as quiet contentment as the years took their toll on his health. He was so uncomplaining, driving me mad with his "Fine, I'm fine" at all his medical appointments. Even in resus on the Saturday after CPR!!!

baubles Fri 19-Feb-16 08:01:02

Sorry to hear your sad news, condolences to you and your family tingaloo

downtoearth Fri 19-Feb-16 09:34:42

So sorry for your loss willsmadnan and tingaloo and the painful time that you and your families are enduringxxflowersflowers

etheltbags1 Fri 19-Feb-16 09:39:32

Tingaloo please accept my condolences. I know I sometimes post derogatory things about men but I also know some people just cant live without each other they love each other so much. My thoughts are with you.flowers and sunshine

Bellasnana Fri 19-Feb-16 12:39:55

Very sorry to hear such sad news. Heartfelt condolences to tingaloo and willsmadnan. flowers flowers

Nelliemoser Fri 19-Feb-16 13:19:06

Tingaloo i am so sorry to hear of you loss. Do look after yourself.

Nelliemoser Fri 19-Feb-16 13:22:01

willsmadnan I am sorry to hear about your loss as well. flowers

Anya Fri 19-Feb-16 13:41:09

Every sad to hear this bad news Tingallo flowers & willsmadnan flowers

willsmadnan Fri 19-Feb-16 14:08:47

Lovable and infuriating at the same time. That just about sums it up, Tingaloo. We were together for just over 50 years (I was very young!) and the lovable times outweighed the infuriating ones .... of which there were many over those years.
Thank you G-netters for your sympathy. Many of you must have travelled the same road, so you will know how it feels.
Now I must get back to sorting DH's infuriating habit of not throwing anything away.

Willow500 Fri 19-Feb-16 19:27:23

My condolences to both of you - I can't imagine how hard it is to lose someone you've been with for so long. I hope you find strength from family and friends in this sad time.

Nana3 Fri 19-Feb-16 22:40:48

My thoughts are with you both flowers flowers

geeljay Sat 20-Feb-16 09:49:33

No words I could say will comfort you. But at least, your dear man's last knowledge was that he knew he was loved, and was with those he loved most.
You must now look after yourself, and take little steps forward, when you are ready.

bikergran Sun 21-Feb-16 09:33:16

thoughts to you also willsmadnan