Hoist by my own petard.....

tell her you have sadly developed an allergy to chutney/vinegar/spices ....... whatever you can come up with !

My aunt Nellie who lived in New York sent us a Christmas Cake in a posh tin (not home made) once and we of course wrote back to say we had so enjoyed it. We never had the heart to tell here we gave it to the birds- it must have been very expensive + postage!!!

OH used to get a bottle of Bristol Cream every year from one patient at Christmas and one of the receptionists did tell them once that 'pssst he really does prefer a single malt' - it was useful to give to the village Tombola- but then he did keep the Whisky!

I'd do the same as you - accept it with thanks and (albeit false!) appreciation. I know it's a waste, but the old lady probably loves thinking her chutney's gone to a good home, and after all it may not be that long before she has to give up making it.

The same as you! White lie.

Katek I have had, until this year exactly the same problem. Friends and neighbours bought a package every year for me and it was a selection of chutneys. I hate chutney so I, like you tried to give it away but there is a limit when the same stuff kept coming every year. This year I was given outdoor plants- what a pleasure and relief. I think I made the problem worse by saying how much I liked the chutney!

My aunt has just sent me a bottle of Bombay sapphire gin!
I don't drink gin!
Darling daughter's sister in law has at great personal sacrifice said she will dispose of it for me!
( apparently, she's gin mad!)

When I was working, our boss used to make horrible granular fudge for us each Christmas, and always put it in the same greasy chocolate box. We had to gradually dispose of it so that he thought it was being eaten. We didn't have the heart to tell him it was awful! It is a difficult situation isn't it?

Galen - your dd's SIL doesn't like chutney as well does she?

Our neighbour has an allotment and regularly gives us produce which is very gratefully received apart from the blessed courgettes which dh and I hate and which we have to smuggle out of the house and take to DS1.

Why not give unwanted food gifts to a food bank,
provided the item hasn't been opened, then all win


.

They wouldn't accept home-made stuff though.

Or gin I'd have thought

One daughter asked us to tea, and made shepherds pie. It was OK, but not memorable, and we both said we hoped it wasn`t shepheds pie next time. Trouble is, every now and again she cooks and brings the food round to save me cooking, but it`s always the dreaded shepherds pie! We can`t ask her not to make it because we told her how nice it was!

number
Have you made anything in the past your daughter disliked? Then use that as a yard stick gently, in a jocular way. It depends on your relationship with your daughter and how often she makes it.

You could plead nausea, due to a medication. That works.

LuckyDucky, we can`t all plead nausea though, especially every time! As for anything she disliked, nothing springs to mind, apart from certain things she disliked as a child and as a teenager. She`s invited us for tea this Friday, but it should be OK, it`s going to be a fish and chip supper.

Could you tell her that you had a shepherds pie at a friend's house which was exceptionally nice (spellchecker wanted to put mice there - I think not!) When you asked how it had been made, you heard that in it was ??? (fill in whatever you think was missing in your daughter's. Maybe it was just seasoning - there is a reluctance to season anything at all these days, to avoid over-doing the salt)

Shepherds pie is good thing to transport and reheat - I can see why she brings that.

This thread reminded me of one of the first meals I had with my soon to be in-laws. Eileen, my lovely mum in law- had made a steak and onion pie with mash and vegetables and gravy. I was given a generous slice and really struggled to eat the pastry as it was rock hard. I did notice that Eileen, Alfie (my Dad in law to be) and Alf (fiance) were all watching me and thought that perhaps I had spilt some dinner. As we were clearing the table Eileen asked me if I had enjoyed the meal. Trying to be diplomatic I said it was all very nice. To my surprise she told me that no-one ever ate her pastry, it was just used to keep the pie contents together! She showed me the remnants on all their plates! She used to ask me to bake pies/quiche etc for the family as my pastry was nice!

My father was a pharmaceutical chemist while my mother ran the shop. Every year one of their suppliers in Cornwall would send them a pot of Clotted Cream for Christmas and they relied on this to go with the Xmas pud. Until one year, when they received a chicken instead, having already bought their bird (they were devastated, as it arrived on Christmas Eve - too late to find the clotted cream and they didn't need any more poultry!). They never again relied on expectation!

The first time I went to meet my prospective parents-in-law, I was given a lovely salad grown on his dad's allotment. The small, grey slug I found nestling amongst the lettuce caused my m-i-l serious embarrassment and possibly set the tone for our future relationship, which was one of mutual respect and friendship. I didn't fuss about the slug, just pushed it to one side and carried on eating

Ah, at least chutney can be disposed of in some way ... I have recently been given what I consider to be a hideous electric candle in a lantern. My friend was so pleased with herself as she had noted my fondness for candles (I have a lot of REAL tea-lights dotted around) and we see each other regularly so I feel it has to be kept out and on display. Oh grrrrr! Is it just me, or would you also avoid giving a display ornament, just in case you got it wrong?!

I was once given a scented candle for a present and as I loathe them I stored it in the regifting cupboard. In a moment of madness I got it out and lit it for a dinner party where it was commented on and, to my horror, became the gift of choice for everyone ever after.

One of my friends was extremely well off and her candle gift was a Jo Malone version which I took back to John Lewis who gladly swapped it for a nice purse. But who spends fifty quid on a CANDLE?

Not me - I buy up lots of fragranced tea-lights when they are on offer.

I was given 4 scented candles this Christmas - they seem to have taken over from the oil-stick things of a couple of years back. I am sure one of them was re-gifted to me. Bah humbug!

Re the chutney - we love it in our house!!!

My late mother would always, no matter what the gift, make it clear she wasn't too keen on it, saying things like "Very nice, dear but ....". My DD's mother- in-law never comments, just smiles when she opens a gift. I always say "How lovely! Thank you so much!", as I know how upsetting it is, when you have taken the time to make or choose a gift for it not to be appreciated. The only time I did do anything, was after several Christmases and birthdays, choosing nice presents for a friend and receiving a small gift from a charity shop that cost next to nothing in return (she had plenty of money, so that wasn't the problem), I eventually suggested that, as we had grand-children to think about these days, it would be a good idea to simply send a card and forget the present. She was very happy with that.