Any tips for coping with getting older?

I'm with you Honda I am plagued by these thoughts and worries. The only thing to do I suppose is LIVE!! eat well and healthily, don't obsess about food or anything, take exercise as able, try to do something new every now and again. I'm sure you are going to get lots of advice on here. It helps me knowing that there is someone somewhere going through the same issues as me- I always think I am quite alone and don't fit in. Have a great day without too many worries. I'm off to the cinema now

Yes, yes and yes!

Who is that baggy jowled creature in photos? When did my Mum take up residence in the mirror? And why do the pics I hated of myself at DDs 1 and 3's weddings a few years ago, now seem acceptable?
DH's mental slowing down reflects what is happening I suppose to both of us and although I am lucky in that I enjoy good health, the odd virus/common cold wipes me out.
So how to cope?
2alternatives (well maybe 3)

Give up, wear beige elasticated waistband "slacks", moan about "me arthuritis " and go to Bingo
Or
Keep as mentally active as I can, keep an eye on my wardrobe, try (!) to do some interesting things and remember that my role model, Judi Dench, is still several years older.
And the third alternative?
Well that's obvious

I completly agree with Teetime but also understand where you are coming from Honda. Since I turned 65 I seem to have had more niggles in the past year than the previous 10 years put together. Nothing serious but just constant (or it seems that way !) niggles. I am also very aware that there are many people MUCH worse off than me and so I can be thankful I only have 'niggles'.
My mother who died at 101 was very fond of saying ''Getting old is not all it is cracked up to be'' and I am beginning to think she was right ! I am however living life to the full and not letting any of the niggles grind me down.

Just keep smiling - there is nothing we can do about this process. But we can choose how we respond to it.

At least we are still here! making the best of it seems the only sensible option really.Take one day at a time, and allow ourselves small treats, and stop thinking of the past, seems a good idea.Enjoy what we have, even if we don't have a lot, and don't compare our lives to others.

If you are 65, I can give some hope, I am 70 (21 in my head) and still enjoying life. OK, I'm getting my monies worth from the NHS and takes me 1/2 hour every morning to take all the pills, but when the sun shines, WOW.

Me too. My mind thinks I am young my body tells me otherwise.
A day with a toddler has me exhausted.

I have cost the NHS quite a lot over the last few years with bits of me misbehaving. My repeat prescription list gets longer and longer.

There are mechanical things that do restrict my activities more than I would wish, but in general I probably worry more about becoming immobile than is justified.

Keep thinking young and don't get staid. Go out and be really silly. Revert to childhood a bit and play. Dig sand castles, get a water pistol. Have a paddle and have a laugh.

The trouble there is I am about 70 miles from anything approaching a seaside. 100 miles to something half decent.
Keep well .

I'm almost 69 and just lately I feel as though my body is cracking up! I had a scare in the middle of the night which was frightening on my own.
However, it's made me realise what my parents went through, yet they were always cheerful and upbeat.
So, I'm going to try very hard to cope with getting older by not moaning to my family!
friends will get it all!

65 seems really young to me...I'm 12 years older than that. The future is a huge worry, especially to those of us who live alone. You are right, it's the decrease in energy that is a growing problem as we age. Sometimes I just want someone to take over and look after me, - until I remember that I actually relish my independence now.. most of the time anyway.

But, hey, at least we are still here, and it's a beautiful world in many ways. I try to take one day at a time, and have a rule that I am not allowed to worry about more than two weeks in advance. And I feel only about 35 years old in my head.
Healthy heart clinic last week said I should be on statins as I have a 24% chance of heart attack or stroke.... but some have side effects.
So I am trying to decide. Anyone else on statins? Any side effects?
I would be interested to hear any opinions.

Good luck with your decision about staying in Oz or not. If you do move, maybe it's best to do it while you have the energy?

It's somewhat perturbing when I look in the mirror and see my mum!
I'm ok health-wise but starting to become a bit forgetful which worries me -GP says it's because I'm always on the go and to slow down.

I think saying 'no' more often and not feeling guilty if I don't feel like doing much sometimes-I seem to have a built in 'I must be doing something' button, which comes from working flat out ever since I left school I guess!
Now I have a less pressurised job perhaps that will change?

Thanks for the replies. It's good to know I am not alone in thinking this. I suppose the trick is to think about the positives, not having to worry about progressing up the career ladder any more I suppose and being more confident about doing your own thing.

DH just said to me you shouldn't worry about getting old, after all, think what the alternative is! He's right I suppose.

I know exactly how you feel honda. I was looking after the grandchildren last night and when everyone came back from their night out in the past I would have sat down with them and chatted;as it was I'd already put my coat on when I heard the key in the door and left straight away. It's the fact that I'm aware of their perception of me,'the old granny' rather than me 'the person'. I now feel defined by my age. I've had to reinvent myself several times over the years, the last time was when my marriage broke up and all the family I'd ever known plus 90% of the friends went with my ex and I had to start again; now find myself with a diminishing social life and can't seem to summon up the strength to start again [in fact I don't know where to start]. I still can't believe that I have somehow become 'the oldest generation' in the family. I am at a crossroads yet again and don't know which path to take and the energy I once had to do so isn't there .

Start a thread Tegan re which path?

henetha, I have been taking statins. I have taken two different ones and have had awful side effects with both. As I sit here my head is aching and my mouth is burning - the latest side effects. I am stopping them as from today and will ask for a telephone appointment with my g.p. this week. I have no intention of trying another one.
Other people get on fine with them but I don't.
As to getting older, I really don't like looking in the mirror but a smile makes us all look better! I am lucky to be in reasonable health and have just had an emergency call to pack a bag and go to look after a sick gc from early tomorrow morning so I am still useful.

Henetha re statins, I was on them for a few years and had dreadful muscle pain and even worse loss of muscle strength, in my back, and then arm.Stopped taking them and began the journey back to full health, but it took a year to regain.I was on the commonest one, and the cheapest called Simvaststin.There are others to try, but I have no intention of trying more at this stage.

I am 69 and whilst don't like the idea of aging I really think the only way is to go for it, ignore your age and live life to the fullest you can.

There is so much to do when you think about it. You could volunteer (there are hundreds of all sorts), visit museums, walk, evening classes, crafty stuff, go out with friends, get political and support your party of choice, garden, plan holidays then go on them, join a club of some sort like the WI, read, listen to music, go to the theatre, cinema, on and on it goes! We have the time to do all of this - how lucky is that??

Tegan From their side of the fence, if you were ready to leave when they got in, then you were clearly anxious to get home, not to talk! Next
time, instead of putting your coat on just before they return, put the kettle on instead and have a hot cup of tea in your hands when the key goes in the door. You can't go home until it is finished, of course, and while you drink it you can ask them if they have had a good time etc. You could also ask if they would like a cup too "it is just made, still hot"

I have just finished Celia Imrie's book "Not very nice" and was horrified at her portrayal of ALL the grown children of the main characters - the things they said to their parents were outrageous. I suspect a lot of it was down to Celia Imrie's own odd image of family life, but my main reaction to it was to want to tell the older characters not to meekly take it and feel useless and unwanted but to spark up a bit and take the lead a bit more in their relationships with their children.

(In the end they did, though neither the story-line nor the characters were remotely believable or well-drawn. Not sure why I bothered finishing it, to tell the truth)

I didn't finish it, for the same reasons Elegran. Very disappointing.

That's what I usually do Elegran; in fact last time I babysat I was there till two in the morning chatting. It's just that recently I've felt more and more marginalised with regards to their friends. It's the frst time ever that I've felt this way. I put my coat on as I didn't feel right being there and I wanted to leave straight away. I think I was feeling a bit emotional as well as it was my daughters birthday and I was looking back to that day oh so may years ago when my life changed completely and I now feel that I am just there when needed. It's just that my conversation seems to bore them and yet everyone else they find so rivetting. It's hard to explain really. Their father, who left us seems to fit in better with their lives now and it didn't help that he couldn't babysit as he was away at his new girlfriends party with all of her friends and family. The S.O. and I are out on a limb and I'm not sure how to move on from where we are. If it wasn't for lovely meet ups with you lot oop north and people like kitty down here I'd be a complete social outcast [along with missing my work colleagues too]. We spent Christmas on our own and will probably do so this year as well; I don't know how we reached this point in our lives [sorry; I'm rambling a bit, arent I?].

Elegran I haven't read Celia Imrie's book, but she was on the QM2 when we went to New York 2 years ago. She gave a talk about making the film of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. It was fairly entertaining, but she finished up by saying she had loved the colours in India, but the country had smelled absolutely disgusting.
It was quite unnecessary, there was a frisson of disapproval through the audience and I've loathed her for that ever since.
hondagirl I agree with the others. I recognise your fears & perceptions and felt the same when I first retired 3 years ago. What has worked for me is exercise - Zumba, tennis, walking and gardening. I really believe that the more you do, the more you can do.
Good luck and Carpe Diem

I feel for you Tegan, but was just wondering if you were 'less available'what would happen? I guess it could go either way.
Do you have interests other than family focussed ones?

It must be very hard on you and your SO, feeling so isolated.

Because our DCs live 100+ miles away we don't see them that often but we do FaceTime DS, DDIL and DGS and DD is regularly in phone contact or Skype if abroad.

I fear there's no easy answer.

and ((hugs))

I have just read her autobiography, The Happy Hooker, which was also quite entertaining, but her novel Not Quite Nice (got it wrong above) was described as shallow by one reviewer and I would agree.

It read like a travelogue of where to go and what to see and eat on the Riviera. The cast were just that, a cast of "characters" waiting for a playwright to write them a plot and dialogue and actors to make them three-dimensional. They were all ex-pats (apparently no-one was living in any of the beautiful villages who had actually been born there - or no-one that the ex-pats ever made friends with or even mentioned anyway) and I could never remember who was who because they were all the same. All the terrible offspring suddenly became loving sons and daughters and after the ludicrous plot twists everyone lived happily ever after. The stuff of pot-boiler matinees or perhaps the Riviera as seen by passing thespians between performances and parties.

Miaooow. Sorry.

Two thirds of my family are in Edinburgh, but I can be a fortnight without seeing either of them or hearing from them. I try to store up things to talk about when I see them and if I have nothing interesting to say it does remind me that I had better get off my butt and do something.

I agree Tegan that you need to get out and go places, do things, even if it doesn't seem all that exciting. You won't come across the interesting things unless you go out among all the other stuff.

I agree Celia Imries bok was drivel - it wouldn't have got a publisher if she hadn't been who she is. I am very vary of celeb books usually but I quite like her acting so I fell for it. Next time I use an electrician I'll ask him what he's like at plumbing.