DH...Hoist with his own petard, ha ha!!

Only under extreme circumstances do I drive with DH in my car!

His shouts are.....you could get a bus through there, you could get a double decker in there, if you can't park that, you shouldn't have a license.

If I see someone about to leave a car park, I will wait a minute to take the space. DH? drive round and round and round until there is a space..he doesn't 'do' waiting!

Then comes the joy of shopping together. Arrrgh!

merlot, that was so funny!

DH says DD has inherited her impatience with other drivers. He doesn't drive, so I wonder what he's implying

Brilliant merlotgran! DH is a driving instructor so learnt years ago NEVER to drive him after every trip was accompanied by a non-stop commentary on everything I was doing 'we don't drive like that. Never had an accident in nearly 40yrs of driving (hope that's not tempting fate!!)

You could point out to him that clearly he is not very good at working out car widths, the next time he has a go at you again in this way!

Actually, soontobe he was having a go at the other driver. He knows better than to criticise my parking but being the impatient old sod man that he is, he didn't think about getting out before I made a dash for the space. Probably wise because I'd have more than likely left him hanging out the door!

And I often point out to him, 'Why are you shouting at that moron silly driver when they can't hear you and I'm being deafened?'

All part of life's rich pattern.

merlot. Roll his window down and let the moron hear what he has to say

Merlot

DH is the same and endless running commentary on the incompetence of other drivers, shoppers, parents, children, David Cameron, CEOs of charities on and bloody on. yesterday I elected him the president of the British Olympic Grumping Team (BOGT) for his performance on the golf course and it was almost empty.

I was trying to get my small car into an awkward space in a local car park; the woman opposite moved her Sherman tank out of a lovely wide space and I zipped forward into it. Relief.
I had not noticed another woman waiting to park another huge tank; she wound down her window as I walked past her and started shouting at me 'I was going to go into that space!' I smiled sweetly and pointed out the awkward space I had not been able to get into and said 'there's a space, but it is a little bit awkward, however I'm sure you're a better driver than me'.

Luckily another young woman drove her huge tank out of a large space just then so she went in there.

DH would have said 'You could get a double-decker bus in there'.

Have they been cloned?

Merlot I think you and MrMerlot should make a TV series. You'd be a lot funnier than most of the rubbish stuff that's on

That made me laugh merlotgran. Mr Purple is an atrocious passenger too and is currently hoping to be able to drive again once the DVLA process the medical reports and forms they have been requesting for the last three months.
I have been his chauffeuse for the last 18 months now and am heartily sick of it. His FFS remarks are usually directed at me A couple of weeks ago I was so dreading a long return journey round the M25 ( he won't stay the night anywhere either) that I went on to Trainline and booked rail tickets. Result! No shouting, the trains were frequent and surprisingly clean AND he could drink tea and go to the loo as often as he likes. I may be a convert to public transport.

Purple daffodil we gave up our car after we were the victims of a road rage insurance scam. We seem to go to more places now than we did when we had the car. Did you know you can get a seniors railcard, which saves you money too. Another little gem I found out recently,is that if you are a holder of a London freedom pass it is is cheaper to buy the ticket at the office from the machines.

It used to take us One and half hours on the M25 to get to my son. Now it is £21 return for the two of us.

They must all be the same. I don't drive but when my DH is driving he is a nightmare. Everyone is a 'moron' or a 'stupid p**t'
It's 'look at the way that idiot has parked' or 'oh you're turning are you? Don't bother to indicate will you' or 'that must be a woman driving in front, she hasn't got a clue' (He's not usually sexist, he has a personality change when driving). If ever I dare to suggest he is in the wrong in any way, he says 'oh when did you learn to drive then? Had some secret lessons have you?' He shouts at the satnav, at me. When we eventually park at a supermarket or wherever, he says 'OK where did we park it'. Our daughter however is a pleasure to be in the car with. She is calm and courteous to all.

How awful for you to be victims like that Littleflo . We do have senior railcards but not freedom passes as we live just outside a London borough. Our jaunt took 2 hours each way door to door, much the same as the M25 would and cost £25 for two, similar to the petrol cost.
I don't think we are ready to give up the car though, we were able to drive to a mainline station which made the journey easier. Also there would be complications with supermarket shopping and collecting GS from school each day. I would certainly investigate any long journeys using the train, rather than the car in future though.

Christmas present ideas for miserable DHs - a Mr Grumpy tee shirt��
My DH was given one by his staff some years ago.

Yep...I've got one too. Personality change when driving.
Everyone's stupid and got their licence from a lucky dip bag.
No patience whatsoever.

With regard to Patience, during a weekend break we were having dinner in the hotel restaurant. The break was a gift from dc and the hotel was pretty upmarket. Food was wonderful, but service was slow....So slow. DH was getting antsy. Mutter mutter....ridiculous....etc. I went to call the floor manager to query service but dh didn't want me to make a fuss. Thing is, I never make a fuss, he's the moaner.

Mutter mutter, so I caught the eye of the floor manager and ask him to come over. And said, my DH would like to speak with you. DH was caught on the hop, remembered to smile and he asked politely if there was any particular reason for the delay in service. Apologies from FM, next course arrived, courtesy drink, no more slow service and it shut DH up.

Sorry to digress.... I reckon it's all about patience and perhaps also a little about control.

What about them ostentatiously checking the mirrors even though you are the one that is driving.

Thank you, thank you! I thought my DH was unusual!

He's def not unusual. We call DH Victor, as in Victor Meldrew.

I was so fed up with Ex when he was banned (speeding 3 times, that sort of thing), he was a dreadful back-seat driver. He criticised everything I did. Then one day we were driving to a garden centre miles away and he told me off for pulling too far into a passing space in a lane, he said the paintwork would be scratched, we would lose the wing mirror, he had had to work hard to pay for my car etc. etc. and I seethed. We got to the carpark, he got out and I drove away without him, shouting 'You were the a*****e who lost his license, not ME!*

I did go back for him about an hour later.

Coolgran65 I thought that was my DH, at least that is what his DDs call him!