Whilst the cat's away .......

We both agree that we love it when we have the place to ourselves. There are no problems, honestly.

I so understand what your saying, I'm the same on the rare occasion DH is away.

I really love it when DH goes to the football - probably the same sort of thing - I eat lamb chops with baked potatoes, on my knee, with a glass of wine, wearing my pjs and feel really decadent!!

Since DH has been so ill he only goes out if I take him but he used to go to Oxford for OU tutorials and I loved my Saturdays alone!

You all make me feel a lot better.

I might eat quite a lot of chocolate tonight and regret it in the morning !

Apart from the pleasure of just being alone, I don't understand why you can't do all the other things when your ohs are there.

It's not at all the same, Lona!

Lona it's mad isn't it ?

I think the problem is that my husband never stops working it's just him and I feel I can't just lie about reading when he is so busy. The problem is with me and not him.

I know just what you mean NanKate. I love my DH dearly, but he does sort of make me feel under pressure to be always doing something useful. If he sees me sitting too long on the sofa gransnetting he will say something like 'still in your favourite position, I see' making me feel guilty. He is also paranoid about the electricity bill so I am never allowed to put the lights on. I don't like being in semi-darkness so when he's out I have it lit up like Blackpool illuminations! It is just nice to be able to please yourself sometimes isn't it

The S.O. will move in next week [he always does when it's Cheltenham week]. It's never 'arranged'; it just 'happens' but I'm already dreading the lack of space during the week . Mind you, we always used to go away the following week but not this time, so at least it's only for a week and then I can have some space again.

I used to like going away on business on my own and ordering room service dinner and breakfast and watching whatever I liked on TV

It used to be so restful when DH was working away. The housework seemed to be magically halved, there was only a fraction of the laundry to be done and I could knock up a quick bowl of pasta or risotto instead of having to produce a "meal". I could also read in bed for hours with the light on having spent the evening watching "rubbish" on TV

I too liked the opportunity to please myself for a while. Since he got his dog 'Horror' (Bailey actually) it's not quite the same as it used to be as I now have to walk the dog, which is hard work as he still can't be trusted off the lead. In the house it's continual up and down to remove something from that he's pinched - our 'toys' are much more fun than his.

Unusually, DH has gone to bed before me.

I feel very free. I am about to go downstairs, make a cup of tea, have it with two biscuits and watch a bit of rubbish tv whilst getting on with my ipad jigsaw puzzle.

Bliss!

Deedaa I can do all of those things 7 days a week. The freedom is called divorce!!!

For 16 years I had the best of both worlds, I had a man on a weekend but the weekdays were mine all mine. The second he left I would put fresh linen on the bed and luxuriate with a good book.

I love my evenings alone too. DBH came home early tonight instead of going to athletics because he was tired, it gave me a shock as I was just clearing up the kitchen before sitting down to a late cup of tea and carrotcake muffin, and was going to eat later in the evening. But he walked in at 5pm and my evening of slobbing with a jacket potato in front of all the things I have recorded was gone. I had to cook a meal. I thought at the time, he does this fairly often, AIBU to wish he would let me know that he has changed his plans and is coming home. Probably I am, it is his home after all and surely he has a right to expect me to be pleased to see him - and I am after the surprise has worn off.

I must admit that I was being a bit provocative with my earlier remark! I was just the same when I was married to my 1st psycho
The trouble is, the time passes much to quickly when they are away!

I'm very aware that there will be Gransnetters wishing they had their husbands back. But that acknowledged, I know exactly what you mean NanKate! I have a lovely husband and wouldn't be without him but now that he is retired, he is around a fair bit. When he occasionally goes away, the house instantly becomes tidier, I eat what I like, when I like, wherever I like. And I can stretch out in bed! Sleep is undisturbed by strident snoring. It is just the freedom to make my own decisions without the eternal compromise that is so refreshing after 42 years of marriage.

However, after 2 or 3 days I do miss him

It's a little holiday, that's all.

Gosh, I find it odd that so many of you can't just relax and be yourselves when the SO/DH is around. As far as sarcastic remarks i.e. 'still in your favourite place ' are concerned my DH would get a real earful. janerowena couldn't you still have had your jacket spud. could you not have put one in for him too ? He changed his plans so maybe he could get his own meal ?

Many years ago my OH worked away for a year, coming home for a weekend every two or three weeks. I love him dearly but that year I seemed to take control of my life; did the garden, worked, helped my daughter organise her wedding, meals were fun, the children were fun. Unfortunately OH and I argued like crazy when he came back for weekends and it took a while for things to return to normal when he came home full time. Both he and I learned a lot about ourselves and each other and it proved to be a good time.

Now I enjoy a couple of evenings to myself occasionally but it is always good when he gets back safely and Derby and Joan settle in their chairs again.

My husband and I lived apart (he was away at college) for the first year of our marriage and since then he tends to go away on business for a couple of nights most weeks, sometimes for longer. We have separate bedrooms, we each do our own washing and although I usually cook he's more than happy to re-heat or get his own meal if he comes in late. Life for me rubs along pretty much the same whether he's home or away because in many ways we're quite independent of one another. I do compromise a little when he's around; he mostly has use of the car when he's working locally (he hires one for when he's working away), the house is not kept so warm - and I spend less time on the computer or reading, but that's because I prefer to spend the time with him. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be together when he retires, but it's not likely that I shall have much time with him then (if any) because he's ten years younger than me and probably won't be eligible for retirement until I'm eighty.

Well I am being left to my own devices for most of next week as my SO is away for a 70th birthday bash with a school friend, how ever will I manage? We have been married for 48 years (World cup day 1966) and in all of that time I have never been able to manage to do anything without help or assistance, when she returns will she find me still sitting in my chair covered in cobwebs or will the railway layout have receive a long needed revamp? ? Hope she has a great time in The Smoke and I will await her return,,